Monday, May 25, 2009

Flushing down a flattering myth

Heyy, finally I’m on Facebook. Add me or I’ll C4 you into pieces and eat your children.

Last night I received two emails. It was such a great deal to me because for a change, none of the two were the usual emails with work/porn materials attached to it.

The first one particularly was interesting. An old chum took the trouble to drop in a few lines to ask how I’ve been keeping up. That was a rarity as far as I’m concerned because I can’t even remember the last time someone emailed just to find out about my well-being. What's even more amazing is how the email was constructed- very formal, almost traditional letter-like that the email actually kicked off with the classic Ke hadapan saudaraku Ahmad blabla…

This chap’s a real dying breed I’m telling you.

The sender of the second one was more concerned on the lack of new postings in here. And get this- he went on to say that I should be able to update regularly now that I’ve become a "full-fledged journalist".

Somehow that didn’t come as a surprise. This was like the thousandth times I heard of such claim.

Maybe it was due to my stint as a columnist (and a terrible one at that) that suggested I was a journalist by profession.

So let’s debunk this myth once and for all.

First and foremost, a columnist may not necessarily go into journalism, and vice versa.

Secondly, mixing around with the press people does not make one a journalist. Just like if you fancied the 'Barcodes' to pull through doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a sad Geordie, right?


Ok that didn't really make sense so let's move on swiftly to the third point.

Most of them journalists -regardless from which angle one looks at it- are capable of writing good piece day in day out, and I don’t even come close to sharing the same league.

Of course I’m fully aware of that. I know where I ‘stand’ exactly and I don’t need a second reminder.

So please keep in mind- I'm a small-time blogger and definitely not a fucking journo-blogger.

As much I’d love to land a job with any one of the rags (reason solely being financial), I just don’t have what it takes to be one. Its never easy because for one thing, a good academic background is required. And all I have is shit. Tertiary education is alien to me.

Besides, an OKU needs to keep up to his billing as an unfortunate and stupid kind in order to live off YOUR money, via one of the government’s schemes.

Regular updates will only make me look intelligent and risk losing the privileges provided.

In the mean time, I’ll post as and when I feel like it. So it’d do me a huge favour to quit acting like a monkey and get your protruding hindquarters off my back.

Thank you.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Crazy over Power

1. The power tussle looks set to prolong.

2. Even if Mr Mahatma Mandela & Co. manages to recapture the legislative power through vote of no confidence, and the other side accepts the decision lying down, the former still have the Rakyat to face and convince.

3. The power grab already did enough damage to the power grabbing coalition that even if it was done within the constitution, it is generally perceived that whatever took place some three months back was done through undemocratic process.

4. Its going to be quite a task for Mahatma & Co. to convince the masses their party still believe in People’s Power, especially by the manner they took office back in February.

5. Unless fresh election is in the offing, the rakyat will have to live under weak government with thin majority until the next General Election.

6. Economic power is what the people are yearning for. Only a powerful government can provide and feed our cravings for a greater economic growth and productivity.

7. In a democratic country, the power should always belong to the people, and must not be in any power-crazy politician’s hand.

8. I am not a politician, but as part of the people, I consider myself as Power-crazy.

9. For the past months, I’ve been feeding my craze for Power on Fridays, every single week without miss.

10. Since today is Friday, its time for the weekly ritual. It has been a week since I last recharged my power that the feelings of weakness and hunger have kicked in.

11. Must…have…my…weekly…(two) plate(s)…of…


Set nasik, ulaman & sambal belacan bersama Ikan Bawal, Ikan Keli atau Ayam digoreng panas-panas…

Bawal Power is located at
Selera Central, Central Park, Sunway Damansara, Kota Damansara, Petaling Jaya.

12. That’s right, gormandisers! If you're hungry for Power, drive down to Kota Damansara for the real deal succulent Bawal. Memang Power!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Its over, no point living

My heart’s wrecked. I was too distraught this morning that I skipped my brunch.

Don’t tell me its not the end of the world and all that crazy bullshit, because according to my world, it is.

I think that’s where I’ll be for now; my own world. Nothing beats the comfort and warmth of your own room when you need to be all to yourself (like wanking for example), totally shut from the outside world.

Its crazy out there, I’m telling you. In this current state of mind, I feel as though everyone out there is insane. Its like they’re eager to get me, throwing jabs to where it hurts most and continue pounding till the old wound starts to bleed again.

So its best to just throw myself into an incarceration and treat this wounded heart with some Ubat Kuning.

Until its fully healed, I’ll be blowing bubbles in the land of make believe (e.g Hefner’s Mansion West)- my room.

For any urgent matter, you know where to reach me.

To those rich politician bastards who wish to do some charity and donate a huge chunk of their ill-gotten loose change, I can be reached via email. You can find it somewhere in the profile section.

Till whenever, happy whatever, guys/gals. Or whoever.