Flushing down a flattering myth

Heyy, finally I’m on Facebook. Add me or I’ll C4 you into pieces and eat your children.

Last night I received two emails. It was such a great deal to me because for a change, none of the two were the usual emails with work/porn materials attached to it.

The first one particularly was interesting. An old chum took the trouble to drop in a few lines to ask how I’ve been keeping up. That was a rarity as far as I’m concerned because I can’t even remember the last time someone emailed just to find out about my well-being. What's even more amazing is how the email was constructed- very formal, almost traditional letter-like that the email actually kicked off with the classic Ke hadapan saudaraku Ahmad blabla…

This chap’s a real dying breed I’m telling you.

The sender of the second one was more concerned on the lack of new postings in here. And get this- he went on to say that I should be able to update regularly now that I’ve become a "full-fledged journalist".

Somehow that didn’t come as a surprise. This was like the thousandth times I heard of such claim.

Maybe it was due to my stint as a columnist (and a terrible one at that) that suggested I was a journalist by profession.

So let’s debunk this myth once and for all.

First and foremost, a columnist may not necessarily go into journalism, and vice versa.

Secondly, mixing around with the press people does not make one a journalist. Just like if you fancied the 'Barcodes' to pull through doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a sad Geordie, right?

Right?

Ok that didn't really make sense so let's move on swiftly to the third point.

Most of them journalists -regardless from which angle one looks at it- are capable of writing good piece day in day out, and I don’t even come close to sharing the same league.

Of course I’m fully aware of that. I know where I ‘stand’ exactly and I don’t need a second reminder.

So please keep in mind- I'm a small-time blogger and definitely not a fucking journo-blogger.

As much I’d love to land a job with any one of the rags (reason solely being financial), I just don’t have what it takes to be one. Its never easy because for one thing, a good academic background is required. And all I have is shit. Tertiary education is alien to me.

Besides, an OKU needs to keep up to his billing as an unfortunate and stupid kind in order to live off YOUR money, via one of the government’s schemes.

Regular updates will only make me look intelligent and risk losing the privileges provided.

In the mean time, I’ll post as and when I feel like it. So it’d do me a huge favour to quit acting like a monkey and get your protruding hindquarters off my back.

Thank you.