Monday, May 25, 2009

Flushing down a flattering myth

Heyy, finally I’m on Facebook. Add me or I’ll C4 you into pieces and eat your children.

Last night I received two emails. It was such a great deal to me because for a change, none of the two were the usual emails with work/porn materials attached to it.

The first one particularly was interesting. An old chum took the trouble to drop in a few lines to ask how I’ve been keeping up. That was a rarity as far as I’m concerned because I can’t even remember the last time someone emailed just to find out about my well-being. What's even more amazing is how the email was constructed- very formal, almost traditional letter-like that the email actually kicked off with the classic Ke hadapan saudaraku Ahmad blabla…

This chap’s a real dying breed I’m telling you.

The sender of the second one was more concerned on the lack of new postings in here. And get this- he went on to say that I should be able to update regularly now that I’ve become a "full-fledged journalist".

Somehow that didn’t come as a surprise. This was like the thousandth times I heard of such claim.

Maybe it was due to my stint as a columnist (and a terrible one at that) that suggested I was a journalist by profession.

So let’s debunk this myth once and for all.

First and foremost, a columnist may not necessarily go into journalism, and vice versa.

Secondly, mixing around with the press people does not make one a journalist. Just like if you fancied the 'Barcodes' to pull through doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a sad Geordie, right?


Ok that didn't really make sense so let's move on swiftly to the third point.

Most of them journalists -regardless from which angle one looks at it- are capable of writing good piece day in day out, and I don’t even come close to sharing the same league.

Of course I’m fully aware of that. I know where I ‘stand’ exactly and I don’t need a second reminder.

So please keep in mind- I'm a small-time blogger and definitely not a fucking journo-blogger.

As much I’d love to land a job with any one of the rags (reason solely being financial), I just don’t have what it takes to be one. Its never easy because for one thing, a good academic background is required. And all I have is shit. Tertiary education is alien to me.

Besides, an OKU needs to keep up to his billing as an unfortunate and stupid kind in order to live off YOUR money, via one of the government’s schemes.

Regular updates will only make me look intelligent and risk losing the privileges provided.

In the mean time, I’ll post as and when I feel like it. So it’d do me a huge favour to quit acting like a monkey and get your protruding hindquarters off my back.

Thank you.


Kata Tak Nak said...

You should have ended your post with
'lest I get interested'.
Yeah man, write when you have stuff to write and most importantly write it your way.
Do justice to yourself Kerpov, you are a good writer with a style of your own and tell you the truth, I love it.

.ani said...

I don't have not tertiary edumacation my self ... that would probs warrant the crap I post in my blog as well :)))))

But you've got talent boy and I'm not being biased just because I'm akka :))

But indeed be nice to receive one of those classic type letters too even if it's via the email and none of the ol skool stamp and envelope ... :))

But you're on FB eheheh means we can bug ya as and when we want :))

Keep being inspired :)

Pi Bani said...

If you don't write well, I doubt anyone would even offer you that stint as a communist... eh, I mean columnist. ;)

Tapi nanti dah sibuk FB, janganlah tak update blog terus, ok?

Kerp (Ph.D) said...


That really means a lot, coming from you especially. Uncle Bernard told me to focus on disability issue which I did, and that’s partly the reason why I don’t do much updates. Having that said, not in any ways the community is all fine and dandy. Thanks sir!


Yes you were being biased bcos in your eyes I’m adorable and all…hehehe…seriously tho, I wish I could come up with good shit on a more regular basis.

Fb- send me la anything. I’d like to receive one of those surprise present thing…hehehehe…

Kak Pi,

But when I became a communist, I had to hold back on what I wanted to put in print. That made it difficult.

Fb- sikit2 je sibuk. Lebih nyibuk tgk profile org lain…hehehe…

acciaccatura said...

dah tu, tak twit ke kerp? i follow you, you follow me, benda gitu kerp? :)

Tinesh said...

fuwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. you're using your email yea? ill search you. and then maybe stalk you. then eat your children. or your future ones.

dude, the disability issue can be the main focus of this blog. but keep writing, i miss the old cock talking kerp :P

Achilles said...

Kerp: You on facebook? Let me add you as a friend so you can C4 my ass.... heheheheheee

But look at it from the positive side... the guy who asked you to write more probably misses your staff... hence the request. OK... maybe the way he requested for it was done properly, but nonetheless, it shows that people like your stuff.

.ani said...

Rajan: missing Kerpie's staff??????? or stuff?

anfield devotee said...

Don't be so harsh on yerself la, ye got the flair fer the written word plus a great sense of humour.

How me wishes me had the funding to do a music publication. . . . sigh.

Hey, wanna do an online version? Just fer fun?

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

Kak E,

cite dia cam ni, mula2 memang nak start Twitter. tapi twitter ni nampak confuse betl, tu yang srat FB tu. tgk la, nnt ada kesempatan start active kan Twitter pulak.


thanks brother. now you start telling all the chicas in your fb friend list to add me. they do that or i'll eat their cats.


thanks for the comforting words brother.

from my understanding, he was throwing a challenge, by the manner the email was written. all because he saw pics of me with some of big guns la- Jeff Ooi, Rocky etc. that can be as annoying as a monkey on your back. so better clear the confusion once and for all.

now, go and add me, bro...hehehehe...


what staff? i wish i had one, a leggy personal secretary, no less.


thanks bro. a music publication sounds good but even an online one is not a bad idea at all.

count me in. you get the ball rolling, create another blog (preferrably Blogspot) and let me in on the password.

dont laugh but my first review would be Greenday's latest outing. to a non-fan, its worth giving it a listen.

Rajan said...

Ani: ooops.... sorry.... typo.

Kerp:mmmmm....i see. in that case F**K him-lah. hehehehe

OK OK... next time i log into facebook, i add you. I usually only check once a week... so be patient bro...

Tinesh said...

jom jom start the rock-only blog. i had this idea and I plan to invite those who are interested to contribute.

we can have reviews, lessons, downloads ala FFS etc etc. lemme know if you guys interested la. :D:D

Kerp (Ph.D) said...


thanks mate!


great. we'd get to inject more ideas and make the blog even more interesting. we'll wait for Uncle Bala to get it roll.

Bernard said...

Since you fellas are so eager on this music review blog, good excuse to get together for a drink or two innit?? How about this Sat evening? Kerp, you can suggest a suitable venue.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...


too short a notice la this saturday. i doubt if anyone could make it. but another round of makan2 is pretty much in our plan. will discuss with Bala and hopefully to come up with something soon. will notify everyone.

senorita.. said...

oh, i missed u. sorry didnt drop by as often... nevertheless, u r still very entertaining. and i got u on FACEBOOK!!!! :P

senorita.. said...

and can u see the 'do not C4' sign on my forehead.

cakapaje said...

Salam kerpie,

If you are a journalist, then I'm a monkey's uncle.'re not, are you? :)

.ani said...

cakapje: that would depend on if you're a friend of kerp's - then he's a 'journo' and you're no monkey's uncle ...

but if you're not a buddy of kerp's then you're definitely a monkey's uncle - shall I call Sepilok fer ya nephews and nieces ... ehehehehehhehe

just pulling a leg here ya ... Kerpie has talent, he's such a humble boy :))))))))

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

Yo K,

hey, that was so sweet of you. and dont worry about it. oh, and since you dont have any kids i'd eat you instead but thats a different story all together. for now, you're definitely off the c4 list.


you must be the only one who feels glad i'm not a journo...hehehehe...


shah is a dear buddy whos glad i'm not a journalist...hehe...

.ani said...

Kerpie: you know how akka is eheheh - kalu my peeps under fire, I've got me claws out :))

**waves friendly to Shah** ... will cancel that call to Sepilok heehehh **wink**

cakapaje said...


I guess the akka your were replying to is ani. Well, a high five to you mate. Don't mind me and kerpie, we say things without animosity and keep none.

Say kerpie, do visit my Painting Pictures, will you. Same to akka as well.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

i see that our akka was there earlier than yours truly.

Shahrir, Anita George.

Anita George, Shahrir.

should have done that earlier. sorry guys.

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

Hey hey come now! We journos have to stick together =P

Have you added the t-man yet?

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

yes i did, O' CDO.

please tell me you're in fb yourself and i'll add ya right immediately. are you, sister?

galadriel said...

My protruding hindquarters says hello to u. This is your blog. Write anything you want as and when you please.

Yeah, you write with a flair I wished I had, but u know that old chestnut abt wishes and horses...

Anyway, I hope ur keeping fine. Sympathies abt the rosak PC. I have an old PC of the same age. Now it is virus ridden and just about to bail out. I remember a friend describe a similar pc as akin to a prostitute with multiple STDs.


Kerp (Ph.D) said...

hello to you too akka, and thanks. those words coming from an ex-jurno means a huge load.

got myself a new laptop. its so new i dont know where to begin. so i guess this is liken to having sex with a virgin, gotta handle with care...hehehehe...

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