Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Make believe: happy man in a happy land

I’m a frustrated soul. Can’t help but to simply whinge and whine non-stop for every single shit that does not suit my fancy. The parking space, the disabled-unfriendly bowling alley, the arrogant Mr supervisor proudly defending his company’s stupid policy and I tell ya, basically everything under the sun.

Maybe I should just stay at home and die from excessive boredom instead of making life harder for others.

But its beyond my control. My outings lately were never short of incidents. For whatever reason I couldn’t tell myself. Maybe for flexing my rights as a disabled citizen I became more sensitive on certain issues that I have no qualms to hit out at every hitch that crosses my path.

I hate it when people tend to (figuratively) look down on me just because I’m a crippled guy on wheelchair.

On one occasion, a flea market retailer ticked my girlfriend for touching his selling goods and he was fully aware she was with me. To me that points out to only one thing; a clear disrespect shown to both of us because for one, she has the right as a customer and secondly, either this bastard thinks I’m a stupid retard on wheelchair or I can only watch while my girl being pushed around.

Lets not get into what transpired next but I wish I had done more like forcing the guy to fucking lick my wheels clean.

No man, I’ve never behaved like a thug, let alone being one because I know where I ’stand’. But neither have I been so pissed than that particular afternoon. In the heat of the moment, especially when your pride is at stake, anger controls your mind. If it means creating a scene to put the record straight, then be it. That guy deserves more than just some piece of my mind.

Nonetheless I’ll always keep my ammo all set. I don’t wanna look stupid hence the need to constantly be on my toes.

And I’ve got my own weapon too in case some assholes are trying to be funny; a urine bag full of fresh, warm pee. Shaken but definitely not stirred.

So pukimak kau, drink to that.


Ridzzy said...

Hi bro,

haha , i like this post. Such incidences can either make someone bitter or dust himself and move on. Im glad you picked the latter.

If its worth anything, I know how I would react if I see bullies in action.. like that drunk who tried to force himself on to a waitress .. he accidently walked into my fist. ;)

ps - im putting u on my blogroll..hope thats ok with u .

Zabs said...

Salam Kerp,
Insiden begitu bukan berlaku kepada anda sahaja tetapi boleh berlaku kapada sesiapa sahaja. Peniaga begitu memang ramai.
Tidak terjangkau kepada pemikiran mereka bahawa setiap orang yang memegang atau melihat barangan jualan mereka adalah berpotensi memberi rezeki kepada mereka. Dengan berbuat demikian, mereka telah rugi satu pelanggan yang mungkin akan mendoakn yang tidak baik pula pada perniagaan mereka.
Anda pula jangan ambil hati kerana bukan keadaan anda yang membuat penjual itu bertindak demikian, tetapi salah asuhan beliau yang menjadikannya begitu. Wallahua'lam.

Anonymous said...

Yo..kerp, very angry ha? OK, I can understand many things..especially the part of that retard seller, and sadly there are scores of them out there! I personally had many similar incidence from ignorant fools and to think they actually want to sell something. I am not encouraging..but really at times, you should just tell them off..i know i did a few times. Hope it gets better after this. MK

anfield devotee said...

"Never been a thug"

Hmmmm . . . me finds that hard to believe fer a gooner la.

akuani said...

Kerp: next time you want someone beaten up hehehe call akka! with my auntie look - no one ever suspects how hard I can hit/kick ehehehhehehe - but basket cases la all this people ... their brains are up their sorry arses!!

Kerp (Ph.D) said...


Oh no, not another kopite?? Hehehe…hey, I’m honoured to have my blog linked to yours. And I thank you for that.

Anyway, there are occasions when confrontation is the only way to prove a point. Regardless of the outcome, a punch-up will put the record straight.

Thanks for crossing over, brother.

*do check out anfield devotee’s blog. You’ll feel at home right in an instant.

Pak zab,

Betul, saya setuju tapi kadang2 terasa juga bila terang2 peniaga tersebut padang rendah hanya kerana saya berkerusi roda. Salah asuhan la barangkali. Bukan apa pak zab, geram je…hehehe…


I’m sure there are many of this type but never thought I’d encounter any first hand. Neither am I encouraging but some of them could do with a good piece of mind. Whoa…its been a while since we last spoke huh? Will email you soon.

Bala ji,

Boss, you can accuse me for lying but only IF I was a Hammer.

Akka ani,

Will keep that in mind. I don’t need to look further when Ms george can get the job done…hehehe…

Pi Bani said...

Abih tu, kalau nak beli his goods kena bayar dulu baru boleh pegang ke?

Anyway, jangan terlalu sensitif sangat bro... nanti cepat tua... ;)

Anonymous said...

hmmm..macam pernah kena dengan penjual sebegitu. macamlah pulak kita tak mampu. last sekali, i said out loud to my daughter, "KITA KENA BIJAK MEMBELI. BENDA YANG TAK PENTING MACAM NI, JANGAN BELI!!!' hmmm....geram kau!
heeehee...I'm back!

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

You know....I am always available to kick ass if you need any help.

cakapaje said...

Salam bro,

Instead of a uring bag, why don't you keep a baseball bat handy...on your lap! :)

mozisgod said...


baseball bat? mwahhahahhaaaa nice one - er..uh...was that:

a)meant in a walkin-tall-i-am-the-sheriff batty bat sorta way; OR

b)simply, as in a "bat", er, metaphorically speaking..yu'know in a long, hard, thick shafty sorta way.

ERK! ok ok dude, i really gotta split now, before i get decked and innundated with FULL-ON gooner inspired hammerblows and lay senseless on the terrraces; completely mamai-ed.

tuan kerpaul,
In reference and in line with mr.cakapaje's suggestion of keepin' a baseball bat handy, at an arm's length triggered this bored, dazed and low self-esteemed mind of mine; in every nook and cranny...yu'know with the usual crap that keeps getting "dodol-ed" about, spewing forth and which ultimately, no sorry, ultimately gets plastered on the mighty LGL/FFS to the untimely detriment of its factual and wellinformed readers.

hang in there bro. yur experiences thawed the nerves a bit, almost cascaded into an avalance of old, bitter memories. feel for ya there, have borne the brunt of many a rueful experiences. but yu'know what mate?

they cost a dime a dozen.

yu'd probably need 2 dozens of WD40s and deep vats of brasso silver polish to dip to them brains in; lather, soak, marinate, rinse and repeat. beladhi permeated moat sludgefarks. very the difficult to change 'em. as i said they cost a a dime a dozen or if yu prefer it, baiwan free ten. in retrospect dude, think you did the right thing mon, maybe in your context, you probably could have laced a response or three, with that ascerbit wit of yours. unlike me, under those circumstance i fold up like a creaky beachchair, ruminate about it in freaky-high-speed-shinkansen sorta way and do the regretful act of volcanic exploding. for many, tarukking comes easily, for others - its like teetering a pint of boilin' black coffee on the head. regardless of the pantantness of it all bro, yu hang in there.

as a respite, i used to walk around with my IC on standby ready mode during my prolific loafing heydays around the streets of KL, namely CM. and it spilled over to my work years as well, in my beat-up worthy of scrap of a wira (bumper tied with cable dun play-play) ...particular when i'm 4 to 5 cars away from the loomin roadblock up ahead. the questions, the sniggering, bodychecks (inclusive of purposeful fondling of the privates to check..erh..for hidden objects) became almost second nature. immuned. but the good part is it changed after awhile. the sad part is, in concurrence with what you had said, it only changed, after i changed a lot of the physical traits. here's to hope for the few that don't cling on to warts hangin' from nostrils, tiberian fangs with no other teeth in between (or in sight) and yes handicaps included.

keep on mauling em bro, the best way yu know. write.:)))


wanshana said...


Don't take it so hard la, dek oiii...

They're so many people out there who look down on other people for so many stupid reasons only known to them. Orang-orang macam tu sebenarnya suffer from inferiority complex. And looking down on other people is probably the only way they could feel superior. Sad, sad people...

And I cukup pantang if I were to masuk a high-end brand boutiques/shops (just to browse around ajer sebenarnya most of the time!) and I get disapproving looks from the sales people just because I don't have any Pradas or Guccis or Ferragamos on me!

WTF?!!! Macam la kedai tu bapak dioghang yang punya!

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

Kak pi,

Not being sensitive, but some people can do with a strong reminder. If you expect good sale, he must first check on his attitude.

Kak E!

Yes, that’s what we did in a way. Dah puas hati basuh mamat tu, kita belah terus. Yang bestnya, mula2 muka dia nampak sombong, last2 malu sendiri…ambik kau.

Welcome back! Lebih sebulan menghilang…hehe…mesti banyak cite kan akak?


From the way we were treated, a good ass-kicking would not justify. I was thinking more of a c4, or 2.


Wsalam. I don’t know man…the thought of having my pee all over his clothing goods sounds like a better idea.


Muahahaha…mozzy rambling at his finest. Seriously la chief, cant help but to laugh out loud reading your comment. As mr cakapaje suggested, I think my pee with a stenchy petai smell will suffice.

Kak shana!

I was quite cool actually. I wanted to see his reaction after being told off when initially he had this very arrogant-look. I don’t mean to sound like a braggart but to be honest, if I had stayed a little longer, he might just get down on his 2 knees and beg for forgiveness.

Pegi shopping dgn pinky, I’d normally stay outside while she masuk all these high-end boutiques. Not quite my cuppa. Even kalo shopping kat kota damansara uptown, I don’t go for all the ciplak branded goods. I am no yuppie btw…hehe

Achilles said...

Kerp: Forget the piss. Fill a water pistol with petrol or kerosene (which is cheaper)and of course have a lighter. macha talk too much... take a few shots at him and then light them up. heheheee

Or get a can of shelltox (or shieldtix now). Light the lighter in front and spray through the flame. instant flame thrower.

Hope these fookers have insurance for their sake.

i hope i don't get branded as a arsenist. hehehehehe

senorita.. said...

Kerp, use all the C4s u can get ur hands on.. and also, bring TCDO along. she can do some serious damage. very good when kicking some retards' asses. it's fucking unbelievable but i know, assholes are everywhere.

IBU said...

Orang tu yg retarded sebenarnya kerp!

Anyway, we have to expect that there are such mean people in this world. And that we have to choose our attitude , whether we should also be like them, i.e the mean people in this world.

Take care bro!

Kerp (Ph.D) said...


Too late. Cant help but to believe you have actually brought out the arsonist in you…muahahaa…good idea nonetheless but I strongly suggest you stick to what you’re best at; burning calories and fats. Thanks brother. See ya soon.


A piece of mind was good enough to do the job. Would love to have CDO with me but haven’t thought about murdering somebody just yet….kihkihhhh…

Kerp (Ph.D) said...


i know, but i'm not really that type who would blow his top off that easy. what that guy did however made me snapped. you can imagine la how rude he was.

Tinesh said...

so much anger i sense in you, young padawan. hahahah.. dude, no need bats and shit la. all you gotta do is just raise your voice and tell the fucker off. works especially well in crowded areas

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

yea, no bats needed. a gun will get the job done.

akuani said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kerp (Ph.D) said...

Wei budak,

Ada lagi? ingat dah mampos.

dgr sini...Kalo aku nak carut ke, apa ke itu semua hak aku. Aku baik ke buruk ke aku tak perlu beruk mcm ko utk nasihat aku. Wei beruk, senang cite macam ni je; kalo ko nak print pastu forward kat mak/bapak pinky apa yg aku tulis kat sini DIPERSILAKAN. Itu yang ko nak sangatkan? Supaya mak/bapak pinky takan terima aku…aku ingatkan lagi- DIPERSILAKAN.

Sebab musabab aku tak pegi jumpa mak/bapak pinky tak perlu lah aku tulis kat sini, Cuma bagi beruk mcm ko yang tak tau hujung pangkal, takpayah la tunjuk pandai. Ko kata aku pengecut tapi bila aku ajak bersemuka ko pulak yg kecut telur, mcm2 alasan bagi…macho apa benda tu? Gi jahanam la wei…

isi kandungan komen ko balik2 repeat. ko nenal ke apa, bila aku kata komen ko umpama taik, takboleh pakai ko tetap bagi komen yg sama. dah la dol, apa kata ko cakap terus je kat pinky, sbb lagipon ko kan kenal dia. dah...ambik tulang ni, gi main jauh2.

macho said...

aku nk tanya ko sekarang nie sapa yg beruk? ko ke aku? beruk je berperangai mcm ko.yg tk tau mn baik mn buruk, mn halal mn haram. ko bawak anak org tanpa pengetahuan mak bapak pinky itu org ke namanya? ko bawak pinky tido rumah ko itu org ke namanya? binatang je yg tk pandai berfikir mana baik mana buruk(mcm ko la). ko dh lah seorg insan yg tidak berupaya(bkn aku nk menghina) tp ko tunjukkan lah perangai yg elok sikit.biar org lain hormat org seperti ko. cuba ko fikir sekarang sapa beruk?buat apa aku nk ckp ngan pinky org yg tk nak dgr ckp org tua dia.dn ko dh tau org tua pinky tidak dpt terima ko patutnya ko undur diri ini tidak ko lagi buat perangai mcm beruk (yg bodoh).
ko saja nk menyakitkan hati mak bapak pinky.ko tu yg setan yg tk boleh berfikir....

macho said...

aku lupa pulak nk bg tau ko, aku tk payah nak print apa yg ko tulis semua tu sb MEREKA SENDIRI DH TAHU PERANGAI BERUK DN SETAN KO TU.. dr dulu sampai sekarang...sian ko cinta tidak direstu...

Anonymous said...

Satu aje aku nak cakap...

Sekarang ni kau menempuh kehidupan yang selesa, kau belum faham erti kesusahan hidup selagi kau tak alami.

Seseorang insan tak akan memahami kesusahan yang orang lain hadapi selagi dia tak pernah mengalaminya. Mungkin ini masa aku, masa kau akan tiba juga...

Aku akan tunggu masa itu. Allah maha adil. Ingat tu.


macho said...

Memang allah maha adil.
Ko tdk terfikir ke kenapa allah tidak makbulkan doa korang berdua? korang tk pernah terfikir kn.meh aku ckpkn sbnya apa yg korang buat sekarang dh salah.Sekiranya apa yg kita buat itu betul insyaallah tuhan akan meringankn beban @ masalah kita.Ini korang mencari masalah, korang tdk berani menghadapi resiko.Ko jgn nk salahkn keluarga ko pinky sb mereka tdk dpt terima lelaki itu.Korang yg bodoh tdk pandai ambil hati mereka. Korang lagi nk menyakitkan hati mereka.
Pinky, insyaallah selagi kita ikut jalan yg betul dan selagi kita tidak melukakan hati(apatah lagi kita buat mereka menangis) kedua org tua kita insyaallah tuhan itu maha adil. Tak tau lah ko sb ko dh banyak buat dosa pada mak bapak ko itu sb tuhan bg ko masalah.
Aku nk tanya kenapa si lelaki yg mengaku diri dia beruk tu tdk berani berhadapan dgn org tua ko, aku tau sb apa, mesti sb dia takut bapak ko mengamuk.

molldanny said...

Dosa pahala di tangan tuhan. Siapa kau untuk mengadili kesalahan orang lain, lebih-lebih lagi fitnah kau yang melampau.

Kau tu suci sangat ke. Kau ingat kau tak ada dosa? Mak bapak aku ampunkan aku atau tak, bukan urusan kau. Aku percaya mak bapak aku sangat mulia & tak akan menzalimi anaknya.

Entah-entah dosa kau yang selambak yang kau tak sedar entah diampun ke tak oleh mak bapak kau...

hei budak, kau mengganggu aku lebih menambahkan dosa kau. Mengumpat aku menambahkan pahala aku. Terima kasih banyak-banyak. Banyaklah pahala akuuuuu...

Lebih baik pegi bertaubat lah daripada berperangai budak-budak macam ni...

molldanny said...

"Kita pasti akan cuba dinasihat oleh mereka-mereka yang menyamar yang beranggapan bahasa kasar yang kesat dan bahasa kasar yang biasa tu di atas satu landasan sama.

Sayang kalau tak bisa "baca" maksud tersirat. Nampak maki tapi tak nampak makna, celik mata tapi buta hati."

macho said...

Memang mak bapak ko berhati mulia dn tk kn menzalimi anaknya sendiri tp anaknya yg tidak boleh menilai kemuliaan mak bapak.Kemuliaan mereka sampai tidak pernah menegur keburukkan anaknya sendiri, mereka terlalu bersabar biarpun didepan ko mereka gelak tawa, namun di belakang ko, ko tdk pernah tau.Aku tau mereka akan ampunkan dosa ko tp sampai bila ko nk berterusan mcm sekarang.Ko fikir lah sendiri.
Daniel ko jugak terlalu banyak menyakitkan hati mak bapak pinky, aku harap ko berjumpa lah pd mereka untuk minta restu.Jgn lah buat mereka bersedih sb korang tidak pernah nampak @ tau kepedihan mereka. Jauh disudut hati aku utk memaki korang berdua tp aku terlalu sedih melihat kedua mak bapak ko bersedih di belakang ko pinky. Dan bukan perangai aku utk memaki hamun @ berperasaan buruk pada seseorang, aku sekadar nk bagi tau ko betapa mak bapak ko terlalu-lalu sedih memikirkan ko sahaja. Sampai bila korang nk berterusan begini?