Friday, October 10, 2008

Reform

10 ways for a political party to redeem itself and make it more relevant and appealing to the masses, particularly today’s young generation.

1. Get rid of all the deadwoods. They’re a pest and a liability not just to the party, but the world population as a whole.

2. Prohibit a certain guy who is a known dumbass from contesting the number two post that could possibly pave way for him to take over the top seat. The last thing the youth needs is to gamble on the future by having a stupid asshole running the show.

3. Racist must be sacked immediately. Too many assholes will only dent the party’s credibility deeper.

4. Youth wing should do without old geezers at the helm.

5. See-through attire for the Puteris. A sure bet to appeal to the male (and some female) masses.

6. Pink trousers for the youth wing. If that does not attract much attention, I don’t know what will.

7. Rope in the real deal clowns. As the saying goes; leave it to the pros.

8. Money politics must go. 200 bucks is downright an insult unless…the bribery fetches up to rm10k per vote.

9. Treat all members like VIP. Everybody gets to cramp the exclusive room and join the orgy with their older counterparts. Sure more to sign up.

10. Give me a multi-million Ringgit project and I’ll reveal point number 10.

The weirdness is getting out of hand. In my mind I picture a gnome-like creature taking over the hot seat come March. But come to think of it, better goblins than a mere puppet.

37 comments:

Pi Bani said...

Eh, hari tu bukan ke ada orang complain kata baju kurung sekolah yang putih tu boleh tembus nampak ke dalam? Baju Puteri lebih kurang aje kan... warna kain je lain...

Mat Salo said...

Wow... baju kurung puteri seksi dan membrangsangkan. Now THAT's a new fetish to cultivate.. ;)

Only in Malaysia 45 pon masih kira youth lagi. I think do away altogether with the youth wing. Kita bukak kiddie wing lagi bagus. Now what was the saying about melentur buluh?

Ini point #3 camner bro? I thought being racist is a prerequisite? :)

senorita.. said...

hey i dun mind gnome-like creature that has kick ass brain. one that works that is.

anfield devotee said...

Tuan Kerp, you forget to include mandatory anal sex fer all ministers to ensure they know what they are talking about . . .

Kata Tak Nak said...

Do you need 10 when no 1 effectively disqualifies everyone in the party?

Tinesh said...

See thru for the Puteris. :D:D:D

Why the hell cant they limit the Youth wing at 30? After 30 you're no longer considered youth. (no offence to any older than 30 here :D)

The multi million dollar project is what you sposed to gimme when I make you the PM la dude

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

Kak Pi,

Err…kain pun kena transparent gak…muahahaha…


Mas Salo!

Maybe to you it is but to me, I’ve long considered it as a form of fetish…hehehe…

Bro, muka licin sure nampak youthful but rambut putih is already a dead giveaway of his actual age. You should know by now whom I’m referring to.


Ms Lim,

As I said la, anything but a pinochio. we wouldn’t want a lying puppet as a leader do we?


Bala Ji,

Can be considered. After all we don’t want our leaders to talk through their ass.


Cikgu,

Muahahaha…good point. Shouldn’t have bothered thinking of the other 9.


Tinesha,

30, 28, who cares. Youth chief post is for those who lacks confidence. I’d go for nothing less than the top post.

tokasid said...

Reform? Do you think those jokers can reform? Or wanted reformation genuinely?

Reform is only when the talk to the press.

Puteri having transparent attire, hmmm....I think thse Puteras and Pemudas and some deadwood in Durian Tunggal will flock my practice for viagra.

Zawi said...

Kerp,
This political party is beyond repair. I doubt that it can reinvent itself as the rotten culture is passed down from one generation to the next.

cakapaje said...

Salam kerpie,

Bro, I got a better solution for your reform - do no allow no one from the sarkas to contest for any post for as along as they or the party live! That way, corruption will be eradicated for sure one, you know!

mozisgod said...

tuan kerpluvyvchenko,

Pink trousers for the youth wing????? MWAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAH
MWAHAHHAHAHHAHHAA
kerp, forgot one more thing,
if they do start praticing it as dress code of sorts, don't
forget the obligatory soundtrack that may or may not get associated with it...

right said fred's ...altogether now...
"I'M, TO SEXAYYY...
I'M TO SEXXXY FOR MA-SELFF".

mwahhahaha. cheers. have a grand week ahead dude.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

DocTA!

I can certainly see where this is coming, especially the putera fellas- a bunch of horny rempits! Muahahahahaaa…


Pak Z,

Not all is lost yet for the party. As I said, get rid of all the deadwoods and ultimately corruptions which is simply quite synonymous to these folks.


Shah,

Hehehe…but that would mean less democracy la, kan?


Mozzz…

Muahahahaha…yea mann…

I’m…too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for shirt…
TOO SEXY…IT HURRRRTSSSS….

Muahahaha…macam sial lahh….

Anonymous said...

...please where can I buy a unicorn?

Anonymous said...

resultarГЎ el resultado bueno http://nuevascarreras.com/tag/cialis-online/ cialis 20 mg. Desidero incoraggiarvi a visitare un sito che ha un sacco di informazioni su questo argomento. cialis 20 mg tadalafil ybhzgvycpw [url=http://www.mister-wong.es/user/COMPRARCIALIS/comprar-viagra/]cialis online[/url]

Anonymous said...

ED Recovery:
Generic Cialis
[url=http://www.humblevoice.com/genericcialis/]Generic Cialis[/url]

Anonymous said...

Hi I like your site and would like to propose a link exchange.
Please copy paste the following code to your page:
Generic Cialis - if you use HTML
[url=http://generic-cialis.socialgo.com/]Generic Cialis[/url] - if you use BBCODE
then please email me and I will happily add your link to my site.

Anonymous said...

Hi I bookmarked your site would ask you for a link exchange. Please append the next piece of text to your link list:
[url=http://gadgetovist.info]gadget[/url] - if you use BBCode
gadget - if you use HTML

call me right after you did and I will append your link to my site

Anonymous said...

A human beings begins icy his discernment teeth the senior without surcease he bites on holiday more than he can chew.

Anonymous said...

To be a upright charitable being is to be enduring a make of openness to the world, an skill to guardianship undeterminable things beyond your own control, that can lead you to be shattered in uncommonly exceptional circumstances for which you were not to blame. That says something uncommonly important about the fettle of the principled life: that it is based on a trustworthiness in the up in the air and on a willingness to be exposed; it's based on being more like a plant than like a treasure, something somewhat feeble, but whose mere precise beauty is inseparable from that fragility.

Anonymous said...

To be a good lenient being is to from a make of openness to the in the seventh heaven, an cleverness to group unsure things beyond your own pilot, that can front you to be shattered in hugely extreme circumstances pro which you were not to blame. That says something very important about the condition of the principled life: that it is based on a conviction in the unpredictable and on a willingness to be exposed; it's based on being more like a shop than like a jewel, something fairly feeble, but whose mere item attractiveness is inseparable from that fragility.

Anonymous said...

In harry's sustenance, at some occasion, our inner throw goes out. It is then blow up into zeal at near an encounter with another magnanimous being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner inclination

Anonymous said...

I don't like the durable of all those lists he's making - it's like intriguing too divers notes at philosophy; you experience you've achieved something when you haven't.

Anonymous said...

In everyone's existence, at some dated, our inner pep goes out. It is then burst into zeal beside an be faced with with another benign being. We should all be glad quest of those people who rekindle the inner inclination

Anonymous said...

In everyone's time, at some pass‚, our inner pep goes out. It is then break asunder into zeal beside an encounter with another hominoid being. We should all be glad for those people who rekindle the inner spirit

Anonymous said...

In harry's existence, at some pass‚, our inner foment goes out. It is then burst into flame by an contend with with another human being. We should all be glad recompense those people who rekindle the inner transport

Anonymous said...

In harry's life, at some time, our inner foment goes out. It is then bust into zeal by an encounter with another benign being. We should all be under obligation recompense those people who rekindle the inner transport

Anonymous said...

In harry's time, at some dated, our inner fire goes out. It is then bust into flame beside an contend with with another magnanimous being. We should all be indebted for those people who rekindle the inner spirit

Anonymous said...

In harry's existence, at some dated, our inner fire goes out. It is then bust into enthusiasm by an encounter with another magnanimous being. We should all be indebted recompense those people who rekindle the inner inclination

Anonymous said...

In every tom's sustenance, at some occasion, our inner foment goes out. It is then bust into passion by an encounter with another human being. We should all be glad quest of those people who rekindle the inner spirit

Anonymous said...

In every tom's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then break asunder into enthusiasm by an face with another hominoid being. We should all be glad quest of those people who rekindle the inner spirit

Anonymous said...

In everyone's time, at some occasion, our inner pep goes out. It is then break asunder into passion at near an be faced with with another benign being. We should all be indebted for those people who rekindle the inner transport

Anonymous said...

In harry's sustenance, at some pass‚, our inner foment goes out. It is then bust into enthusiasm by an contend with with another benign being. We should all be glad quest of those people who rekindle the inner transport

Anonymous said...

In harry's sustenance, at some time, our inner foment goes out. It is then blow up into flame at hand an encounter with another magnanimous being. We should all be thankful quest of those people who rekindle the inner inclination

Anonymous said...

It was many years ago we first selected Top Restaurants in the U.S. See it. http://restaurants-us.com/il/Chicago/Manzo%27s%20Ristorante/60618/

Anonymous said...

Directory of insurance agencies organized by states http://insuranceinstates.com/arizona/Scottsdale/Security%20Title%20Agency/85254/

Anonymous said...

cheap cialis from canada cialis online,cialis

Anonymous said...

buy xanax without prescriptions generic for xanax - promethazine xanax drug interactions