Friday, October 10, 2008

Reform

10 ways for a political party to redeem itself and make it more relevant and appealing to the masses, particularly today’s young generation.

1. Get rid of all the deadwoods. They’re a pest and a liability not just to the party, but the world population as a whole.

2. Prohibit a certain guy who is a known dumbass from contesting the number two post that could possibly pave way for him to take over the top seat. The last thing the youth needs is to gamble on the future by having a stupid asshole running the show.

3. Racist must be sacked immediately. Too many assholes will only dent the party’s credibility deeper.

4. Youth wing should do without old geezers at the helm.

5. See-through attire for the Puteris. A sure bet to appeal to the male (and some female) masses.

6. Pink trousers for the youth wing. If that does not attract much attention, I don’t know what will.

7. Rope in the real deal clowns. As the saying goes; leave it to the pros.

8. Money politics must go. 200 bucks is downright an insult unless…the bribery fetches up to rm10k per vote.

9. Treat all members like VIP. Everybody gets to cramp the exclusive room and join the orgy with their older counterparts. Sure more to sign up.

10. Give me a multi-million Ringgit project and I’ll reveal point number 10.

The weirdness is getting out of hand. In my mind I picture a gnome-like creature taking over the hot seat come March. But come to think of it, better goblins than a mere puppet.

34 comments:

Pi Bani said...

Eh, hari tu bukan ke ada orang complain kata baju kurung sekolah yang putih tu boleh tembus nampak ke dalam? Baju Puteri lebih kurang aje kan... warna kain je lain...

Mat Salo said...

Wow... baju kurung puteri seksi dan membrangsangkan. Now THAT's a new fetish to cultivate.. ;)

Only in Malaysia 45 pon masih kira youth lagi. I think do away altogether with the youth wing. Kita bukak kiddie wing lagi bagus. Now what was the saying about melentur buluh?

Ini point #3 camner bro? I thought being racist is a prerequisite? :)

senorita.. said...

hey i dun mind gnome-like creature that has kick ass brain. one that works that is.

anfield devotee said...

Tuan Kerp, you forget to include mandatory anal sex fer all ministers to ensure they know what they are talking about . . .

Unknown said...

Do you need 10 when no 1 effectively disqualifies everyone in the party?

Tinesh said...

See thru for the Puteris. :D:D:D

Why the hell cant they limit the Youth wing at 30? After 30 you're no longer considered youth. (no offence to any older than 30 here :D)

The multi million dollar project is what you sposed to gimme when I make you the PM la dude

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

Kak Pi,

Err…kain pun kena transparent gak…muahahaha…


Mas Salo!

Maybe to you it is but to me, I’ve long considered it as a form of fetish…hehehe…

Bro, muka licin sure nampak youthful but rambut putih is already a dead giveaway of his actual age. You should know by now whom I’m referring to.


Ms Lim,

As I said la, anything but a pinochio. we wouldn’t want a lying puppet as a leader do we?


Bala Ji,

Can be considered. After all we don’t want our leaders to talk through their ass.


Cikgu,

Muahahaha…good point. Shouldn’t have bothered thinking of the other 9.


Tinesha,

30, 28, who cares. Youth chief post is for those who lacks confidence. I’d go for nothing less than the top post.

tokasid said...

Reform? Do you think those jokers can reform? Or wanted reformation genuinely?

Reform is only when the talk to the press.

Puteri having transparent attire, hmmm....I think thse Puteras and Pemudas and some deadwood in Durian Tunggal will flock my practice for viagra.

Pak Zawi said...

Kerp,
This political party is beyond repair. I doubt that it can reinvent itself as the rotten culture is passed down from one generation to the next.

cakapaje said...

Salam kerpie,

Bro, I got a better solution for your reform - do no allow no one from the sarkas to contest for any post for as along as they or the party live! That way, corruption will be eradicated for sure one, you know!

mozisgod said...

tuan kerpluvyvchenko,

Pink trousers for the youth wing????? MWAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAH
MWAHAHHAHAHHAHHAA
kerp, forgot one more thing,
if they do start praticing it as dress code of sorts, don't
forget the obligatory soundtrack that may or may not get associated with it...

right said fred's ...altogether now...
"I'M, TO SEXAYYY...
I'M TO SEXXXY FOR MA-SELFF".

mwahhahaha. cheers. have a grand week ahead dude.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

DocTA!

I can certainly see where this is coming, especially the putera fellas- a bunch of horny rempits! Muahahahahaaa…


Pak Z,

Not all is lost yet for the party. As I said, get rid of all the deadwoods and ultimately corruptions which is simply quite synonymous to these folks.


Shah,

Hehehe…but that would mean less democracy la, kan?


Mozzz…

Muahahahaha…yea mann…

I’m…too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for shirt…
TOO SEXY…IT HURRRRTSSSS….

Muahahaha…macam sial lahh….

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