Friday, April 11, 2008

RM150

Not going to blame on the weather but right this moment I’m feeling a little bit under one. In fact, when I woke up yesterday morning I’ve already felt like something wasn’t right with me, with body aching all over. Since then, still I managed to keep it to myself because If mom knew, I’d be in trouble for she’ll force me on gulping down all the pills available under the sun.

Cant afford to fall sick right now. I mean, first and foremost, its weekend for goodness sake! To be in bed on Saturday would be unthinkable. Its like dining out with your girlfriend while there’s a live game on tele involving Arsenal.

So anyway, yeah, got some shits to do tomorrow which I sense is going to be a long day. Good thing the morning event will take place just a stone’s throw away. That said, even if I purge in my pants I could just wheel home without letting the whole universe know I’ve literally got some shit right under me and would save some great deal of embarrassment in the process.

That reminds me not to bring a lot of cash because crips on wheelchair are as good as sitting ducks for baddies. For some reason assholes have this weird impression of me; A millionaire.

What the hell, man?

Well ok, I can say I’m richer now but not rich, as in Patrick Lim’s kind of rich, rich. I received some payment that I earned from collecting and mailing letters last month so I guess I’m richer, by 150 freakin’ bucks.

Incidentally, I have a dinner appointment tomorrow at The Curve and one of the flea market operators have this one item I’ve been eyeing for months now. I think after the meal, when the bill comes either I put on a straight face or pretend to dig deep into the pouch while hoping others to settle everything before I could even reach for the RM150.

And with the RM150 still with me, I’d get closer to owning the gas-mask. This item is necessary because you never know how it may come in handy one day.

I could put it on to prevent flatus gasses from sneaking directly into my nostril when purging, to hide my sickly facial expression from my mom or simply save myself from putting a straight, cheapskate face.

20 comments:

acciaccatura said...

salam kerp.
hmmm...gas mask huh? perlu tu. masuk bulan tujuh ke lapan, jerebu balik, boleh guna. masa tu biasalah, surgical mask laku sangat dan naik harga. or may be we should get supply from Doc TA bila jumpa bulan lima nanti. hmm...

Anonymous said...

yo..kerpov, you ni kelakar la, even in an unhappy mood, we still like to read your 'shits'?..ehehehe, see i am catching up with you and hey, you know they have adult pampers too (ok..ni melampau dah) just joking only ma, if no joke, no laugh kan? anyway, have nice weekend...maybe we should meet up for lunch one day, i know you're a fan of nasi kandar!! enjoy yr weekend :)m.kate

Kata Tak Nak said...

Gas mask? Yeah, with the kind of shit you have been dumping courtesy of all the nasi kandaq, I guess you need gas mask. I only need WINSTON.

Pi Bani said...

Gas mask? You're not planning on any street demonstations are you? Sediakan payung sebelum hujan,
Sediakan gas mask sebelum kena sembur dengan tear gas...
;)

Daphne Ling said...

Yo Kerplunkie-boy,

You'd rather suffer discomfort all day long and purge like hell in the loo instead of swallowing a bunch of pills?

Weird...

;)

anfield devotee said...

gas mask? That doomsday fer the deceiver look is soooo 80s la bro . . .

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

Kak E!

I went to look for it but biasa la, bila dah depan mata, rasa mcm rugi plak nak beli. Tadi dpt diskaun rm10 but still not good enough to persuade me to get it. adoii…

Bulan 5 confirm ke? Count me in, jgn lupa!


Mary!

Alamak I’m such a bad influence lah…hehehhe…I’m not letting in too much secret about meself but I do put it on, on something that you just mentioned…hehhe…

Yes, lets do lunch, but most probably on weekends or I may have to travel all the way to KLIA, for that exclusive lunch date with you, yes?


Cikgu,

It was really shitty that I changed my mind when the freakin gas-mask was already in me hand la boss. Now that I’m already home I regretted my stupid decision. Aiyahhh…

*lately been having this craze for nasi padang. Last week je nasi kandaq. Perhaps next week banana leaf pulak kot.


Kak Pi!

Fuyyooo…a very political statement from Kak Pi kita…hhehehe…but honestly, if I had the gas mask, it wont be a practical thing, just part of my collectibles je.


D!

Seriously, I’m willing to take the chance than to swallow the bitterest of pills, and the wird smell of tablets. Unless it’s the chewable vitamin C-type, I aint touching any pills.


Bala,

Dude, Jason Newsted is simply waaaaaayyyy cooler than whathisname Trujillo guy.

Any idea where to get the gas mask anyway ka bro? saw one @amcorp but a little too pricey la.

Anba said...

Bro...should be cool
Agent Orange....Sodom now thats a cool look...just a need a M-16 with it..Complete's the Package..

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

Anba,

hey yeahh...the famous gas-masked army personnel on Agent Orange's sleeve. it kind of slipped off my mind which album cover it was till you showed up. if you are familiar with local english stuff tho, then The Pilgrims' Da Capo comes to mind, only that, it was a fish with the gas mask on.

*Happy new year to you and your family, brother!

cakapaje said...

Salam bro,

What do you need a gas mask for? You know, you can some for free nowadays. But off course, as usual there's some snag involved. Still, I don't think you'll have any problem handling it.

Remember the tempe beauty model? Well, I was told its actually a mask! Now that he does not need it, I guess you can just grab it off him...that Wak Tempe Khir Toyo! :)

Honestly, do you really need one?

Tinesh said...

Some dude in Slipknot has got a gas mask i think..But have you seen the transparent masks in Nirvana's In Bloom video? Man that shit is fucking kewl and scary at the same time..Must.Get.One haha

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

Shahrir!

That particular mask you’re talking about cant hide one’s ugliness, as proven by the look of that tempe model…hehehe…

But seriously, yes for some reason I do need it. not for practical reason but in my mind, putting it on on me would make me a cool person, so its necessary. Necessary nowadays to look cool maaa…


T!

No bro, none of them wear a gas mask. I went to check it out on their official slipknot masks page so I can confirm with you now. I have seen the one worn by Kurt but I think those slipknot guys have cooler masks.

Anba said...

Bro...
i was just lookin at the podcast from soccernet Manu leading now 2-1...got 10 mins left...i'm gonna sign off..
Not a good start for this year...hahaha..gotta get used to it..
TC bro..

Anba said...

Confirmed bro...
Season's Over...
Currently i'm playing this song in the juke box in me head ..
"Always look on the bride side of life..."
Kejor yop Kejor...

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

Anba my brother man.

yea, we lost. another trophy-less season. but kudos to the young lads la anba. they did great only to ran out of steam towards the final part.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

hahahah...ya la bro. but hey, there's always a next season and hopefully Arsene will open up the cheque book and get 1-2 players.

the feeling's suck at this moment. gonna drown my sorrow with some porno stuff now.

mozisgod said...

good farkin game bro.
*sigh*..was hoping for a slow burner..right down to the final games..

*sighhhhh* - now to see what i can rummage up through the office drawer to use as earplugs; gonna be an ordeal tommorrow to stomach some shittyarsed comments. get this, boss man = utd fan; 1 farkinkaninabehhhchaucheebai manager also man utd fan.

the worse of the 2 is the manager. he is rounder than the ball; no, correction his mid-30's ball farkin' head is rounder than his uncle's testicles.

i can't fathmom him ever even kickin' a farkin ball mate, yet along immerse himself in sliding tackle... & come tomorrow..the pantat (i.e. round-fat-jabba-the-hutt-like manager) will be demonstrating..dude..i'm not kidding yu dei...he will demonstrating..literally showing how this farker cross..and how that farkin man utd screwed his aunt. grrhrhrhrhhrhrhr

and then he will end with a big fat smile askin'me..
so what yu spurs farkers got?
that slimy unclefarker grin.. now this is what you call a mud-slinging wanker.
araghghhghghgh lantaq ler bro...ape nak jadik jadik la esok.
i will be keeping the giant big-ass stapler by my side just incase.
you never know..
an accidental plop of the stapler on a fee..may cause serios pay, would it not?
*grinsshowing reallydecayignteeth*

bloody reds fans dun do that, chelskicunts down flush out their "caviar", toffeeheads dun even wince..heck even the bloody goons drop it at one pun at time..that too at the doorstep. but
these guys? on average, they seem to associate...life's losers with other teams..i.e. to be a winner in life you support other winners...bro, i think ah..i will shut up now.
i just hate that cibai. sooo much.
thanks for listening dude.

moz.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

mozzzy,

yea man, tell me abt it. i am totally fucked now. get this bro, me dad a ManU, my bro a ManU, and now even my nephew makes fun of the gooner me bcos he's a bloody red devil.

get this mozz...right after the game i received a dozen smses making fun of arsenal calling us names like losers and shit. and these were from young twats who only a couple of seasons back a fucking chelski!

cibai la, the season's over and its only april. wanted to terminate the fucking astro but to be fed with local channels is a dreadful thought. them stations only good at asssucking their bosses.

oh well, am looking at the brighter side la bro. the new season is ONLY a mere 4 months away...woo fucking hooooooo!!!

Tinesh said...

I cudn't watch the match cause I was jamming lol..But I managed to catch the replays on final score..

Mozi dude, you remind me of Jack Sparrow when you say something hhaha...No offence meant bro!

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

ahh, thank you Tinesh for not making my night a misery. sure to get hell from bro come morning. FUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

GOOSEFRABAHHHHHHHHHHHHH....

HEHEHEHEHE....