Tuesday, October 9, 2007

The day it was...

Like my stools, huge chunk of the morning was spent on the toilet bowl trying to get the waste out of my bowel system. It was as if those shits feared being flushed down and drown that they had another idea of staying put, resisted the pressure from budging out of the anus.

Suddenly a poem I read last night came to mind while starring blank, straight into (through) the bathroom wall;

Here I sit,
Broken hearted,
Tried to shit,
But only farted.

Yes, that one. Stupid turd. Unfortunately to me, it was no laughing matter. At least not while I was in there, struggling emotionally.


Last week, my wheel buddy, Zulkafli (pic) called up and was informed the bosses are appointing me to deputize him as Perwira K9’s secretery. Its still unofficial but the appointment is imminent. Not bad considering I only have to show my crippled face in the office once or twice a week. Well, I think once should be enough. The good part is, I’ll be getting some allowance by doing simple work. Good then. I like.

Being a deputy, like deputy minister for instance, it is an easy task as our superior does most of the job. So, hooray. But I am fully committed that I have pledged I will not goyang kaki.. ever.

Kahkahh

Lame.

So, after further enquiry, I will be required to handle the website, updating and stuff. I believe I should be able to get the job done but if I didn’t, I can always blame Zul as I’m only his deputy while pointing finger at his direction. Hey, a friend in need is a friend indeed.

Anyway, my first ‘official’ job was to attend a buka puasa charity do organized by the lovely people from MCA. It was held at the wheelchair-friendly Kelana Seafood center last Sunday. The spread was mouth-watering, with plates after plates of big, succulent butter prawns served. I could have tapau-ed some for sahur if i were a kiasu cheapskate. I swear i'm not. But really, It was more of an all-you-can-eat than just ordinary buffet. That should explain everything on the first paragraph.



Nothing beats having that plate of vegies away, the further the better.

Now though, lets talk politics. The good old politics. I’m a guy with no political principle. Call me lalang or a seasonal political party supporter, see if I actually gives a shit. I could be a PAS man today and PPP or something weird like that come next week for all I care. But without a doubt, the flavour of the week has gotta be; surprise, surprise…the MCA.

Their national Wanita’s deputy chairman, datin Paduka Chew Mei Fun was the guest of honour at the charity event and hell, I didn’t even know she was my MP for ages now.

So being a non-voter, I did what the rakyat would normally do when they bump into their own MPs, asking for favours. After all, I’m exercising my rights as a citizen. Good enough I don’t vote. That one ballot paper could go either way, ask any candidates, they wouldn’t like that.

But she and her division people rocks, I tell ya, really ROCKIN’. Maybe its their nature as politician to put up a friendly face but she’s a real coolhead. Looks like its swinging towards her... a vote of confidence that is.

Buy me, fellas. Buy me!



The sweet, abled-body Pinky, joining in the orgy.



Nurisah & Abu



Graciously accepting gifts from The-Lady-Of-The-Hour, DP Chew.

*Note- excuse Pinky for the blurry pix. She's no Mat Salo.










10 comments:

tokasid said...

Salam kerp:

What a shit-uation( pun intended) for you on the ivory bowl. trying to force out an alien who refuse to leave their domain.

Its nice to know you enjoyed the kelana seafood session( who wouldn't with those foods on the table)and you are right bro for asking favours from the elected MP. Its their job to help citizens(voters or non voters, supporters or opposition) without prejudice,fear or favour! After all most of them(not all okay) help themselves without asking us first,right?

Kerp, you might on a wheel chair, tapi macho la U bro! betoi. And why not take up arm-wrestling?

Pinky is meant for you. Thats my sincere opinion. I don't think anyone who will be willing to go through everything with you like she did.
My doa is for you and Pinky will one day become husband and wife. Ameen Ya Rabb.

Bailey said...

bro,

u look like my lost lost chum la. =)

serius sejibik.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

salam docTA,

its a common problem especially during ramadhan. glasses after glasses of water during sahur helps but not much.

you said it nicely doc. it is their job to help everyone, including the non-voters. ive never met many of them politicians but when i did, it has always been a pleasure meeting. so you can understand why i'm not into politics. i have no hatred against any of our political leaders. as i have said before, i admire all, some frm umno, PAS, MCA, PKR and even Gerakan. its not easy being on wchair, but being a non-partisan helps. i shall rmain apolitical.

arm-wrestling? aku ni lemah la doc..haha..there are those way stronger, especially the amputees, they'd be in the same category in competition. payah nak lawan diorang becos their upper body strength are usually twice stronger than quads.

i'm praying hard too that me and pinky wld have a happy ending. moga2 masin la mulut doc. amin, amin yarabbal alamin.

bailey,

yo sis, forgive my ignorance, but what chum? whats his name? nowi demand you to get back to me...haha.

thanks there sis.

cakapaje said...

Salam bro,

Reading Doc's comment - the last part - that's at least 2 people's doa already. And I happily 'amin, Ya Rabb, amin'.

Just don't forget to send us you word, that's all :)

Bailey said...

a friend ms belajar kat uitm dulu. he has brain tumor and now blind. kesian dia. tp he's very determined and so stubborn. semua nak buat sendiri. i admire him.

now there are three of us yg doakan u and pinky will one day become hubby and wife.

amiinn.

elviza said...

Kerp my man,

Thanks for the prayers for Luqman.

Ohhh... I love Kelana Seafood. This being fasting month and all, the pix isnt helping bro!

Mior Azhar said...

Kerp Bro:
This is one Ramadan buffet that I would not give a miss. Looking at the spread (especially with the veggies sitting at the very end) was menyelerakan from every angle.
So, Bro, how's your Raya prepartion coming along? Any balik kampung plan? If yes, where to?

Selamat Hari Raya. Maaf Zahir Batin

Pi Bani said...

Hey Kerp,
No meehoon for buka puasa? ;)

Wahh... the spread looks nice lah. But for people like me, tangki kecik... ada big spread pun can only take in sikit je. Rugi bawak I gi buffet...

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

Bro Shah,

Thanks for the well wishes. Good thing happens to good people. Not that I’m one, but she is. Sama2lah kita doa. Nothing matters to me more than to see it happen, insyaAllah.

Bailey, sis…

Sounds very independent, your friend. Kicked and badly battered, but still standing. How not to admire such strong will and courage.

Thanks for the Amin. As I have said to u in my earlier posting, moga2 masin mulut awak. But ur still a sweetie.

Elviza,

Its been ages since I dined there, and I have to admit they’ve improved tremendously. And the best thing abt this restaurant is, its situated mere 5 mins drive from my place…hihi…

Maybe because its ramadhan but I sure have been praying a lot lately. Maybe rezeki for your cute, hunky Luqman, and our little sister Hui Yi. Both are getting better and doing great. How I wish things are permanently rosy.

Bg mior,

Whoa, so you’re not a veggie fan too? or I could have read it wrongly? Veggie-haters are dying breed now days and I wonder why…hihi…

Nothing much to prepare la bro. good enough I get to complete one whole month puasa. beli kain pelikat baru je. Yg brand gajah baris, baru punya.

Oh, and I don’t have any kampong fyi. I consider subang jaya as mine, since I grew up and spent major part of my life there.

Salam aidilfitri, bg mior, and to kak yan and the rest too.

Kak Pi,

You teaser! Hahaha..

With all the spread available, I’d burn the whole restaurant if meehoon was being served that night.

But don’t worry kak Pi, it was a charity dinner. It’s the only time when small-eaters like you gets to enjoy buffet without feeling the guilt. Thanks for dropping by.


thanks, friends.

cbenc12 said...

Hey, guess what? I've given you an award on You Make Me Smile! You really do :)
Keep it up and have a nice day ya! ;)