Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Romanticism: Roses and all things Sissy

Somebody said to me the other day that he’d give anything just to get out of his marriage. That came as a surprise to me. I mean, hey what's the deal with that, man?

Apparently he claimed to have chosen the wrong woman as the main reason given. Sure buddy, sure. And this was the same fella who whispered to my ears only several years back that he’d climb the highest mountain and swim across the deepest ocean just to ask her hand in marriage. Now this?

While here, reporting live from the deepest of the heart ( deeper than the septum), I just wish we could switch positions, but with our respective spouses of course. My point is, here I am wondering what marriage life is all about when somebody wish he’d never had been in one. I tried to empathize with him, imagine what in the name of shit could he be going through now but as much I wanted to, I still believe getting hitched is a wonderful, flowery thing.

Yes, I could be wrong but after much thought, I’m sticking with what I had believed in all these years. Marriage is about everything rosy, romantically in order and all the corny shit. I mean, my very reason for saying this is, while going through thick and thin, ups and downs and all the turmoil, you’re in it together. Isn’t that what should only matter, two love birds enjoying the torrid ride? Sure, thorns can be harmful but roses stands out. No flying plates and glasses needed.

Ok I may not have tasted being a beer-bellied hubby as yet so I mustn’t speak to soon and shut the hell up, so they say. But when I’ve gone through hell for more than ten long years, what could possibly be worse? Even death wouldn’t be as bad I imagine. Here’s a preview of what hell-on-earth’s like. Its when you first learnt that an important part of your body are no longer effective, and you’re condemned to be a crippled for the rest of your life. That’s flameless hell for you. Try break your knee-bone, get it cemented and live life as a temporary cacat fella and you will get my point. So save all the shitty stuff and keep it to yourself.

The thing is, I don’t think I should feel discouraged by the slightest of distraction and hey, am fully determined to see it through and experience one myself.

So If given a magic black-hole, I’d be the first to jump in and travel to the future, look for the first pak lebai (kadi) available, lafaz akad, swap rings, kiss the bride on her forehead and start the reproduction process immediately.

Ok that was silly but no harm in over-fantasizing. I mean, If only we could find an easy escape route and get out of deep shit by just a finger snap away, life would be smooth-sailing. But without any of the challenges, that’s not worth calling it life.

I believe in Allah, and He, who had put me in a situation just to get my will tested, it was also Him, who gave me another ultimate trial and an opportunity to prove the success story of the first mountain-climbing feat wasn’t a fluke. Like it or not, without a magical finger-snapping, I am game for it.

Now though, not wanting to give people the impression it was written by a sissy, I end this entry with something very manly-stuff.

…I’m all psyched up for Arsenal’s away to the Mardejski stadium for a crunch with Reading. Ehem…yes, yes…no more roses nor daffodils and feminine-like gay stuff, but rather a tough-tackling, artistic, total-football thing.

Yup, its something in this order. Football, food, girlfriend. - end.

'Allah will not put his hamba to the test, if the hamba is unable to cope with it'.- Zakhir Mohamed.


Pi Bani said...

People say life is not a bed of roses. But I beg to differ. Life IS like a bed of roses. Sweet... but still... thorny and can be painful nevertheless. It's how we deal with it that will make the difference.

Aiseh... terserious pulak pagi ni...

Kata Tak Nak said...

Most people who try to break their marriage contract are actually weak people who crumble at the slightest difficulty without trying their very best to save it.
Of course we do have genuine incompatibility cases but they are few and far in between, most do not want to budge an inch. By refusing to budge an inch they are separated by a mile.

acciaccatura said...

salam kerp,
mine is a roller coaster ride. luckily, i've buckled up! hee...

tokasid said...

Salam bro kerp:

We heard you loud and clear bro!
What pi Bani said is true.
And what che'gu said is true.
What E mentioned is also true. If one doesn't buckle up,one might end up like the anak pontianak in th Proton Raya advertisement..on will fall hard.

Marriage for me is the sharing and give-and-take of 2 different person who thought they have everything in common but actually they are 2 diverse personalities.That is were the fun(and to some the fights) started. Its all about management. Elementary Watson!
(Wah..wah..wah..macam la aku ni baguih sangat).

As for you friend, I pity him. Can't say much for I do not know his reasons for wanting OUT.

Arsenal? Ahh..I see che'gu is getting restless tonight.

Zakhir's Zoo said...

'Food' was my middle name.....until recently.

Dato' Mukhriz said it to me years ago, my first name is "breakfast", middle name is "lunch" and you can easily guess my last.

Remember, if you are meant to have a 'life partner', you'd have it no matter how people try to deny you that. That is called "Jodoh".

All about what happened to us is 'Qada' and 'Qadar'.

Daphne Ling said...

Hi Danny,

Everything Kak Pi said! Hehe...I can't put it any better than that...

If marriage is to be, this order of "Football, food, girlfriend" has got to be reversed lar...;)

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

Kak Pi,

Nicely said. I’m honoured to have a very honest opinion from you. hehe…asam garam kehidupan lumrah alam.


Another gem from you. and yes, I may speak to soon but if most can do, why cant he. Weak is best to described it. I’m so game to experience what awaits me. that would be another test, apleasant one hopefully.

Kak E,

That should serve as a warning. Bumpy ride ahead! Hihi…


Yes, totally agree with all of them above. I sure hope all the bad things I hear were mere mythical tales. I’m not that strong but hey, if you guys can do it without much glitch, I should be able too. but first thing’s first. Dapat je restu mak ayah dia, I’m buckling up and enjoy the ride. Should be fun. Vrooommmmm…

The reason given wasn’t strong enough and as cikgu nazir said, this fella’s weak in the heart.

Eh, i’m sure cikgu was relaxed. Man U won 2 days ago. They just hv to sit and enjoy the game.

Big bro,

I need to sit with you and bomb you with questions on how you managed to cut down on your food intake. It was the operation you did earlier this year wasnt it?

Yes jooh tak kemana but I wont feel secure until I know my gf is officially mine. Our only wish is to live like any other married couple. And until that happens, we wont stop dreaming about it.

Daph, sistah!

Yea la. Kak Pi and cikgu put it very nicely. I will forever keep that in mind and would refer to their words back when in need.

Ok, I’ll definitely reverse that. In fact, cant wait to get it reversed you know. And my priority will completely take a different twist, which I’m really looking forward to.

Thanks friends!

Mior Azhar said...

Salam Bro,
Don't let one person's experience dampen your day. It takes two to tango. Two to make a marriage works. There are people who likes being married. And they work hard at it. Am sure you will be a great partner in a union. Football and all!

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

salam bg mior,

thats my target, to be a good if not great hubby. i really look up to you guys. years into life commitment and still loving every moment with your missus. good to have your blog linked to here. i can always check your blog out for that little inspirational edge. thanks brader.

cakapaje said...

Salam bro,

Hmmm...after reading through everyone's comment, now I'm the one who is scared shit!!! HELP!!!

Ok, ok! Like Accia and Doc said, buckle up. Ok. Done. Next?

Hey bro, why did you bring this subject up? Now is there is an Angkasawan project to Mars, I'll buckle myself up to the cone of the rocket!

Hehe...just kidding bro! Take it from an old pro like me, relax. Hang on, I'm like you, still unhitched! Help! :)

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

shah brader,

sorry bro, i didnt mean to offend anyone but being in my situation, i've got to have that little morale-booster to lift me up. and so this particular subject was brought up. aku layan blues one peaceful night...haha...

IBU said...

Have you heard of the 7 years itch?

Standby mopiko from now to minimise effect of insect bites :)

Anonymous said...

Dear Kerp,

We need to have the right/secret ingredients so that we can have a yummy-delicious marriage life!

Alhamdulillah, I'm still deeply in love with you know who.

Kita kena jumpa satu hari,I ada banyak coklat kat rumah. Kalau I lalu rumah u, nanti I call.

Akak mystery

Kerp (Ph.D) said...


7 years itch? not sure what to make out of it but i sure am having alot of itchiness here and there. hihi...btw ibu, hafiz is so cool lar. he chose the right team.

my akak mystery,

i am collecting data from you as well. yes, perhaps we should sit down as i need to probe you further on what the secret ingredients are, over some chocolates ofcos.

anfield devotee said...

Erm . . . Marriage is great but when the nagging starts & yer nursing a bloody hangover from hell, it ain't so sweet! He he

I love being married but I do NOT understand why women feel that they must show they love us by NAGGING!?!

So many other ways to show their love:
1) Get naked
2) buy some nice wheels
3) get naked again
4) make us something nice to eat
5) pour us a nice strong drink

Ok, I know this the fantasy la, I ain't no sexist pig expecting wifey to be a slave. Just quit the NAGGING, it ain't sweet and it certainly ain't fooking nice!!!

Raden Galoh said...

Aint life is full of surprises?
The beauty of dealing with this mystery is the crux of our faith, dear brother.

Always see the other side of the coin.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...


Yea man…the nagging, the whining…but hey, since its part of the thorn in between the roses, I’m prepared for the whole package.

Besides, my girlfriend’s fully aware whenever arsenal are playing and shown live, nothing can ever take my eyes off of the tele, not even her nakedness at least until the final whistle blows.

she’s pretty much gotten used to it so that should save a lot of argument. Kahkahhh…

Kak D,

I am prepared for what awaits me. I know its going to be a blast, and yes my faith is fully intact even if the outcome isn’t exactly what I had hoped for all these while. Thanks akak.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Yeah, you're right about the whining and nagging part. When you are all grown up and married you thought at last no more mom to nag but you're wrong. Look, men are made by god to be nagged at, period. As long as the whining is not like Liverpool fans lamenting Benitez's strategy, its okay otherwise you had it. Funny though, they can't play and the blame their coach who incidentally can't coach. Luckily you picked Arsenal kalau tidak mana mau letak muka? Sekali sekala tak apa la bantai Liverpool kan, after all has beens will always be has beens kan?

Kata Tak Nak said...

Yeah, you're right about the whining and nagging part. When you are all grown up and married you thought at last no more mom to nag but you're wrong. Look, men are made by god to be nagged at, period. As long as the whining is not like Liverpool fans lamenting Benitez's strategy, its okay otherwise you had it. Funny though, they can't play and the blame their coach who incidentally can't coach. Luckily you picked Arsenal kalau tidak mana mau letak muka? Sekali sekala tak apa la bantai Liverpool kan, after all has beens will always be has beens kan?

Mat Salo said...


Everything in life is a gamble. Kengkadang we just have to trust our instincts. In matters such as this, I let my heart rule my head, and berserah pada DIA. Alhamdullillah so far at the 15 year mark semua still alright. Marriage needs work. You can fall in, fall out of love. And have doubts. This is normal. It's called life.

So bila aku nak makan nasi minyak nih? That applies to shah cakapje too! Hmmm, from the recent posts I can tell what's been on your mind, bro'.. :)

Kerp (Ph.D) said...


‘men are made by God to be nagged at. Period.’

Hahaha..i can only laugh reading that phrase.

You know what cikgu, now that I have die-hard friends from both sides of the city, Liverpool and Manchester, I am refraining myself from adding the fuel and turn let’s go land into a verbal slugfest. Haha…

Chill, sir!

MS bro,

Yes, my swamp brader. This piece of subject has been in mind for a while now and it keeps bothering me. Could it be the end-of-the-year weather when the sun doesn’t show up much and the days ends up gloomy?

I don’t know man. but I’m doing exactly what you mentioned. Have been listening to my heart lately as the brain tends to get distracted a lot.

I’m taking all the advice come from you guys as future reference. Thanks.

*when are you coming back to civilization, bro?