Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Mardi Gras Up North

Ah yes, the by-election. The next time you see a rainbow, you can bet the trail ends in Permatang Pauh.

It is like striking a jackpot, especially for living voters.

It may be a Pilihanraya Kecil but by no means it’s a small affair. With all the political bigwigs sure to throng in to try fish some votes, the timing couldn’t be more perfect than now to squeeze them to bits

For the disabled community, this chance is a must-grab. Go ahead, ask for a super-light weight, brand new Quickie. Who knows you might even end up with two.

But hey, I’m serious. Disabled persons who are yet to enjoy any form of financial aid shouldn’t find it hard to apply for any. While for those whose application is still pending, just go over to the nearest politician in sight and enlighten them of your problem. They’d be more than happy to cut the bureaucracy crap and speed up the process.

Its not an everyday thing one gets to channel his grouses directly to the powers-that-be. While the carnival is in town, one should at least demand for their rights to be looked into.

Yea and everyone would be thinking, its not as easy as telling them PP folks to do it.

First of all, it’s a mere suggestion. Secondly, nothing to lose but everything to gain and thirdly, them politicians will sure to oblige or someone will defecate on their Kompressor’s windscreen.

So do not fret. Demand!

Now here’s a drive initiated by our friend Anfield Devotee aka Craig Johnston aka Bala Ji to get people to register and in due course eligible to exercise their rights to vote.

I doubt there’ll be any snap election but by-elections at your own yard can be as near as just around the corner.

I mean, MPs and Aduns are humans too. And they too, could be raped in the ass tomorrow and die the day after. You just never know. Life and death is solely God’s business to decide.

It takes only a few minutes just to get you registered anyway, and soon your name will be on the electoral role, and as a living voter for that matter.

For those unregistered, spare a minute or 3 the next time you see a post office. Sign up and be counted.

And of course, if I get the break to stand in as one of the candidates for a parliamentary seat, your vote will count for nothing if it went to my opponent.

To male voters, they better watch their…err…step.

To lady voters meanwhile, vote for me or otherwise I swear I’ll trace your home and steal your white-cotton panties.

16 comments:

Tinesh said...

I mean, MPs and Aduns are humans too. And they too, could be raped in the ass tomorrow and die the day after.

How the fuck do you come up with gems like this la macha??? Im putting it in my facebook as one of my fave quotes hahaha..

You're one of the few people who can get a message across thru comedy. Russell who? hahah

IBU said...

Mardi Gras? Hahahaha..... But eh, no laughing matter bro. Be careful with what you pangkah for. Nanti kang banjir & turn upside down like atlantis city ..... hmm...dam dee dum dee dumm....

p/s these days, you don't have to read your MP's obituary b4 getting a chance to re-vote in by-election la Kerp. Haven't u noticed?

Kata Tak Nak said...

Haven't you read? RM1000 per vote. Wow! I think if you were to ask them to build am olumpic soze stadium for every kampung, they would agree. They of course means the party with the most money. I wonder which party is that?

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

T man,

Eh, no la. Miles la dude. Mr Peters is simply in a class of his own. But thanks anyway.

*so you’ve got a facebook ah? You sure you don’t have a friendster account? Kihkihh…


IBU!!

Ye la, lebih kurang macam Mardi gras la. A tit for tat.

I think the coming by-election is a result from a wife’s love for her hubby. And of course, the hubby we’re talking about here happens to be nothing less than ds Anwar Ibrahim…hehe…


Cikgu,

Yea, during a campaign period everything is possible, including an Olympic-sized stadium. Once election over, dewan serbaguna kampung pon payah nak mintak.

jaflam said...

Hai Kerp,
Some good ideas and proposition there. Like the Mardi Gras there will be parades and dances from all the political army and generals. Let see who will be the best dancer and clown in the showdown.

To both parties “Stand up like a man and fight” may the best women win ?????!!!

anfield devotee said...

Thank you kerp fer helping spread the message! You know you got me vote!

ps: Me hair is not as curly as craig's la woi . . .

fergie said...

hehe .. i see the germs have ended their orgy in your bod and you r back to your usual corny/horny self, kerp.I notice u don't have an upside down flag flying ... so not in distress .. very good sign!

senorita.. said...

if u're running for a post in an election,u will have more female voters for sure...

ps:what happens if one doesnt own any white cotton panty? ;P

cakapaje said...

Salam kerpie,

Yo bro! Don't you know already...the OKU's are already getting more than their share - those OKU of the mind as in Sarkas and their supporters lah! Just take the case earlier this morning when Mazlan Harun lodged a report with BPR about the Kepala Batas top honcho's corrupt ways, and how the voters were pampered to 5 star hotels and given gifts as well. So I guess, these people are the real OKUs - in their sick mind lah! ;)

ps. Tried to call you at about 9pm and someone picked up the phone and said 'takdak orang rumah!' I got a shock...who was I talking to then? ;)

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

Dato j,

Hehehehe…clear winner since the last 3 GEs was, surprise, surprise…a woman!

The Mardi gras I had in mind was the new orlean-kind…if you get what I mean…muahahah…


Bala,

That’s the best I can come up with. Wasn’t aware about a possible snap election earlier. My bad.

*it’s the pony-tail bro.


Aunty iris!

Yea, them bugs decided to leave immediately after the party, and the weekend I had was quite a blast actually.

*nope, I don’t share the same sentiment as uncle zorro’s. He may have his reasons but I’ve got my own too.


Miss Lim,

More female voters? You sure about that? Brothels will be legalised, fyi…kihkihhhh…

*no white cottons, no point stealing.


Shah,

Ok man I’ll just be brief on this one; the anti-korupsi agensi will throw this case becos they cant find any proof an act of bribery has been committed. The outcome will not surprise anyone la, trust me.

*yea I was out the whole evening. You must b talking to a machine imported all the way from cerbon, Jakarta….muahahhaha…

*don’t forget to thank makcik hawa for the yummy kueh. We- I especially- enjoyed it to bits.

Tinesh said...

Friendster before facebook. BUt hardly use it anymore la..Use my email and add la

senorita.. said...

ok then. now that u said it out loud n clear, u will definitely get more male voters.

n females will stop wearing white cotton panties.

he he he

mozmayidenggg said...

tuan kerpov,

i was just about to quip about them "cotton panties" as well until er..senorita interrupted. see here's the thing bro, i was in very meditative mood today while going through a fave ritual of mine..a morning ablutions of sorts if you mean (see FFS) to the soundtrack of
"i ammm the greattessst maynnnnn on earth.."

i was crapping in me head as well, amongst other things which arose like poignant thorn was the issue of cotton panties. no joke, it just came out of nowhere. fer real la. why whatTF are you insinuating?now, now, in case you were wondering, NO, wasn't wearing cotton panties neither then or the night before. (scouts honour. sompah):)).

now my grouse is this, why cotton in particular; i mean there many godsent materials to erhm you know like consider..e.g. satin, silk or erm lace, leather or leathery lace. and erh yeah. maybe.. i may have considered..erhm..
putting it out as a flag outside my bedroom windown (seeing that its already merdeka month - and DO YOU NOTE THE stark absence of the jalur gemilang (yg makin pudar)as comparatively to say ..last year?)

at the risk of grossing out many of the civilized patrons frequenting your establishment here, i have chosen to restrain my in inane ramblings to a
bare minimum.

oh shit, scrolled up and i realised as usual my bare minimum is topping myself as usual. i need to be arsewhipped pretty well huh

like MR.T said, that happens to be me fave line also.
"and they too, could be raped in the ass tomorrow and die the day after "...mqhqhahhahwhhhahahahah
classic geekish touch bro; you rock :)

burp. bro. gua ciao dulu. i needed to release some steam. and arghghg..kerp,
i seriously need to stop me eyes from goin auto-focus. all it wants to see are them godawful panty lines.
now see what you've done? kidding, kidding. voyeurism is the eye of the beholder.

kerp: note to self (yourself that is) - always be careful when inviting moz to public functions involving a mixed crowd.
hehehhe

appereciatively,
moz.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

T,

Aiseh, sorry bro but aku takde facebook la…neither friendster nor the other thing. Yea, that one. Bo liau.


Karen,

Ofcos when I’m in power I will thrust on gender equality. More male strippers club for the ladies. How abt that?


Mozz,

Hahaha…you're rad man,...radddddddddddd.

oh, rad's btw, means cool, a term use by the Weezer guys.

ok man here’s the thing. Why cottons, and white in particular. Ask yourself first, if you have any fetishes. Then, ask again why that? Ofcos la I explain it but wouldn’t want people to be in on this little obsession of mine, would I brother? Muahahhahaa…

I’ll tell you anyway la, the next time we meet.

monsterball said...

Glad to note your brain is so logically active and not attacked by unused sperms....talking upside down flags.
I guess every drop is well directed to the right channel.
Take care!!

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

thanks, mr Goh.

hoisting the flag is an act of utter disrespect to the country you were born in. their argument that it is internationally acceptable does not hold any water. many other methods you can think of than to display it upside down. JG belongs to all Malaysians, and not umno nor bn. burn their flags for all i care but inverted JG saddens me to bits.