Friday, August 1, 2008

Disturbed- Down With The Sickness

Oh hell, so much for wild and wicked weekend; damn bugs are having an orgy in my body system instead. Totally uninvited.

Just when I thought this weekend would be the best opportunity to unleash the party animal in me, the flu virus had to play a party-pooper, hence rule me out from attending an inaugural book club meeting.

The thing is, whenever I’m down with sickness, the last thing I’d do is seeking advice from the doctor. Think about it, this isn’t the first time I’m down with flu. All I ever get was the same set of medication. The same bitter shit.

Or maybe I could do this; since I’ll be going to the hospital anyway later (visiting my dear old grandma), I might as well look out for any ENT specialist walking up and down the alleyway, stop him and ask about my problem. I’m sure he’ll oblige because soon he’ll find out he’s treating a guy called Kerp, the greatest paper columnist there ever was...to be seeking treatment from him.

Then I can imagine he’s gonna say things like…

-Virus is in the air.

-Drink a lot of water.

-Your nostril is not in danger of potential Tenesmus because mucus keeps oozing out.

-Stop smoking because Nik Aziz says so.

-Eat a lot of veggies and starve yourself to die.



Then come back home Mom will be singing the same tune.

-no late night work.

-no cold water for the next few days

-no wild night out

-no loud music.



And I’d be like, no loud music?

Oookay, no point living then.

26 comments:

senorita.. said...

omg... dude,i'm in the library. no liberty to laugh out loud here....

omg omg...

telling myself "chill..chill... it's not that funny.."

muahahahhahahhahhaa

tak tahan la dude.. orgy in ur body, fake tenesmus... ROFLMAO

anfield devotee said...

No wanking as well, eh, kerp. You gotta conserve yer energy.

Ok, now, you can say there's no point living . . .

fergie said...

Whoa there Kerp.
Luckily just a virus and not tenesmus. U shud have waited til Monday to fall sick. Hope your grandma is better. Cheer up .. this darn virus attacked me whole of last week and still lingering. Won't kill you .. maybe just tell you to slow down after last weekend.

Tinesh said...

HAhahahah bugger damn cun(ted) post :D

Try some MJs, might do you some good lol.

Hope you get well soon dude..And dont worry there's always another party next week and the week after..Cheers! (on guiness malta haha)

Kata Tak Nak said...

Doc: Actually I am quite excited about meeting you Mr. Kerp.

Kerp: And why may I ask?

Doc: Its not everyday one meets a celebrated blogger you know. Actually I am a big fan of yours.

Kerp: Thank you, thank you but it will still cost you 50 bucks for an autograph.

Doc: Why you still don't have enough to get you a new laptop?

Kerp: Yeap! I am 5K short.

Doc: Tell you what, if you are willing to make a police report that Anwar had a shidig with your rump, you could get a thousand laptops and attend all the lesbian orgies that you want.

Kerp: Nope, no can do, Is there a Commissioner of Oath nearby?

Doc: Why.

Kerp: Statutory Declaration, what else.

the Constantly Dramatic One said...

Ahahahaha. That orgy line is priceless. I will curi that, but give you the credit.

Of course

wanshana said...

Kerp,

Our body has this strange way of letting us know that we have to slow down in doing things we normally do.

Errrrr, maybe you've had a tad too many of those weekend orgy parties...

Get well soon :)

Anba said...

Kerp:-- Get well soon...show them who is the orgy master...there can only be one..its u bro...Komrade Kerp..
Tc bro..

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Kerp (Ph.D) said...

hermosa muchacha,

hehe..yea, come to think of it, it was kinda funny y'know. i mean, an orgy in my body, its a fact. they breed in there didnt they?

hehehe...


bala,

wanking’s part of hand work out. I believe doctors would give a go-ahead with such healthy activity…kihkihh…


aunty iris!

Cant afford to fall sick nowadays, not even Mondays. I’ve got a full Sunday to rest and will have to see from there. I believe the virus is very much in the air. Not a single family members were spared.

*thanks for the well-wishes aunty. Grandma is recuperating well from a fall.


T man,

Hey thanks buddy. Really la bro, cant afford to fall sick. Need to party as hard as getting down to work.

*dei, whats MJ btw?


Cikgu,

Muahhahahahaha….now that was really hilarious. Classic KTN material. Worth an entry!

*sell my soul(butt) for laptops and made to look a silly poof like that saifool guy? Like I said la, no point living la like that.


O CDO, haillllllll…

Just curi la, why need to give credit…no big deal la sister.


Kak shana,

Yes I am so with you. May need to get off the pedal a little.

The thing is, we (me and pinky) have a bunch of friends who like us, loves to jalan2 cari makan and weekend is the best day for our little culinary adventure together. That’s the actually story behind all the fictitious ‘immoral’ activities…hehehehe…


Anba,

Thanks brother. I’ll show you guys who’s the orgy master alright. He’s the owner of FFS. Muahahaha…no la, of course I’m kidding. But its true. Need to slow down a bit. been pigging out like crazy la lately…


Wpd,

You have a nice day too.

Tinesh said...

MJ itu rakan baik saya yang juga dikenali sebagai weed :D

cakapaje said...

Salam bro,

Yo! You still down ka? Wake up bro! I heard Arsenal's making a surprise visit to Kelana Jaya stadium. Also, the Hungarian F1 has been canceled tonight ;)

Salt N Turmeric said...

aiyo sakit again. i guess by now ul know alrady wht to do and wht not to do. so all tht i can say is get well soon. why ur grandma in the hospital?

anfield devotee said...

Dear kerp,

Sorry off topic. Am starting a 'pay it forward' initiative at me blog by trying to persuade me friends & other non-registered citizens to register in anticipation of a snap election. Then get each person to convince 5 other friends to get registered & so forth.

Seeing that yer blog is well read, perhaps a plea from the famous Kerp might convince some people to take some affirmative action.

TQ fer yer time & consideration! Me trust you'll be able to convince a few people via one of yer typically powderful postings!

Anonymous said...

hello kerp..katun lah you ahahahaha :D With so much rubbish politics everywhere, I take refuge at your blog, shit and all! Tu lah, you know what they said..no point talking to a man, they wont listen one! I certainly think those bugs are having orgies in your body..how else you can filter everything and concentrate on the 'no music' part, but coming from your ..fully understandable. I think those bugs love your body too much, they'll camp there..for a long time me think! MK

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

T,

Ooo that…haha…but I think I‘ll just skip on organic stuff. Could do more with cough syrup for now…and less fag of course.


Shah,

Bro, the race last night was heart-wrenching to say the least. It just wont happen for massa. Glad footie season is looming. Can start ditching F1 for this season.


Mrs Carr,

Actually I was already up and about since Saturday. Enjoyed the weekend to bits before coming back to reality and get all the shits done before I can really sit down minding the blog and emails and stuff.

*grandma had a fall serious enough to be admitted. While in hospital, doctors found out more than just an injury from the fall. Biasa la, orang tua, macam2 complication. Been in and out of the hospital too.

Dear Bala,

Kahkah…powderful posting huh? Not too sure about that but I’ll have a look at it anyway. Been busy with shits la lately.


Mary!

Fortunately them bugs decided to party and leave immediately. Been up since Saturday actually. Then got some serious writing to finish up. Busy la. Now not sure what to write about. Maybe more on politicians kot. They’re our sitting ducks aren’t they? Hehehe…

mott said...

Strong, this bug.

By the looks of your latest post, you sound like you've recovered? LOL..."defecate on their Kompressor windscreen".... Oh! The JOY!

WAKAKAKAKAKAKAAKAKAKAK!!

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

mott!

yea, i've recovered, although not completely. and sure hope your kids are free from them damn bugs now. can imagine how irritating it can be.

thanks there.

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