Tuesday, December 18, 2007

The Gas Chamber, LGL-style.


Now before you think you’ve accidentally clicked on a link that leads to Zorro-Unmasked, you’re definitely not. Only that the picture above and idea were stolen from the legendary wise man himself. I haven’t asked Uncle Bernard for his permission because it was way late into the night, so obviously he was…out somewhere chugging on a full keg. Ok I'll sms and inform him now.

Ahh yes…the good Ol’ Mexican Gas Chamber. Numerous faces, of political figures mostly, have tasted the smell of nasty flatus, freshly and voluntarily pressed through, evacuating from anuses. Even one certain chief justice was remanded and deservingly extended his stay for being such an ass.

But this is no Zorro-Unmasked. Its Lets Go Land with a little twist, the LGL style.

Here's the thing. Again. A certain pig-faced moron named Jack asked for it. This is the same shithead who came in here and over-stayed when he was not welcomed in the first place. And being such a stupid son of a cheap-whore he is, all his comments are worth less than a useless turd. Only his mom cost cheaper.

What makes him think I’d graciously take in all his advice is way beyond me. Seriously, who the fuck does he think he is? One thing I am sure of, this wanker's a pathetic loser living a sorry life trying his utmost best minding other people's business.

Seriously, does he actually believe that by telling me off Pinky would really pack up and leave?

Wei Jack the scat-lover, Trust me you faggot, it aint moving. Whatever your deranged mind orders your stinkin’ mouth to say a few words… No, wait. Let it be more than a thousand words, it aint gonna fucking move us.

I would love to believe you’re not that stupid for being a product of nasty inbreeding but my belief dwindles when you turned up again showcasing your extreme stupidity. Seems that you know me more than everyone here as you claimed, when you’ve never met me in the first place. So what are you, a fucking clairvoyant? Nobody knows me more than Pinky herself. Forget it man, shove it all your knowledge about us up your dad’s sodomised ass.

WE KNOW WHO WE ARE, me and Pinky. We don’t need no moral police telling us all the stupid crap we shouldn’t be doing. You can go ahead calling us rude. Fuck that. Coming from you, we couldn’t be bothered. Go eat some dog shit.

Woi Jack bodoh, aku tulis bahasa england ko tak paham sebab ko bodoh. Dengar sini, komen2 ko semua sampah. MULUT KO BAK KUMBAHAN. Jangan pikir apa yang ko tulis boleh ubah hati aku ataupun Pinky, sebab ko tu beruk yang pengecut. Cakap orang takut, cermin diri ko tu dulu. Tengok baik2, selain dari muka macam babi, apa lagi yang ko nampak. Sekarang ni kalau ko ikhlas sangat, macam ko kata ko ni ahli keluarga Pinky, tegur je dia depan muka. Lagipon ko boleh temberang sape ko ni sebenarnya. Tapi tak, sebab ko berhati busuk, dengki dan jealous, tu sebab ko Cuma berani berselindung belakang computer je. Ko kata Pinky tak beradab, habis ko baik sangat? Aku cakap baik2 tapi ko tannak dengar and datang dengan cara kurang ajar. Memang sah mak bapak ko tak ajar ko pon. Wei anjing, tunjukkan diri ko tu. Kalau tak berani tak payah nak sound2 orang lain. Sedar la diri sendiri tu. Apsal ko pengecut sangat nak tegur Pinky?
Lagi sekali aku nak ingatkan ko, apa yang ko tulis takkan buat hati aku dengan Pinky berubah walau seinci.. Sementara tunggu ko untuk perkenalkan diri, jangan harap aku akan tunduk dengan kata2 ko yang berbaur hasad dengki. tak payah nak cakap soal kesopanan, ko tu jaga adab ko. Aku kenal diri aku lebih dari ko yang kuat memandai. Sape diri ko tak penting sebab ko berselindung. Percaya la, aku takkan terkejut beruk walau dari spesis beruk mana ko datang.

So in the mean time, this Jack-ass shit fella will be locked in the chamber and farted on for eternity.

Don’t worry uncle B, this is only a one-off and the chamber wont be hijacked permanently. Unless I am forced to, it shall only be used to stuff in political idiots.

Regrettably, I have to temporarily moderate all comments. But I can assure all friends, you know who you are, who writes in, all comments will be published, un-edited. Never am I running from any truth and hide, but all his words will only dirty this blog, which was supposed to be public friendly. I would not take any chance of tainting LGL with all the shit he vomits, and so the moderation is necessary.

19 comments:

Pi Bani said...

Kerp,
I think this jerk memang nak tengok you melenting. So don't give him the pleasure. Go ahead, moderate comments and just buat donno je. As long as he hides behind his anonymity, he doesn't deserve your attention.

anfield devotee said...

Hullo, dude, why waste yer breath (or farts) on this bloody pundek lar. Why give him the satisfaction of you getting all worked up lar.

Fook it lar, woi.

Far more important things to worry about.

BTW, do you listen to any sort of metal or are you strictly poonk rawk saje?

ps: Perhaps a trip to the puchong salon fetaured in me blog might cheer you up? Let me know if you are interested.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

Bala,

Sorry brader, cant help it la. This bugger’s getting too personal. I kind of knew this sick-ass moron is someone related to my girl. he thinks bcos of that reason he can shut me up. Fuck NO, mann…hey, after all its good let some steam off.

Let me see, errm, I have the sickness by disturbed in my small collection as well as a few stuff from System Of A Down. Trust me bala, I can listen to all rock stuff but for financial reason, I had to restrict myself to only get albums of the ones I really dig. But definitely not strictly to punk rawk. I have complete collections of weezer, pearl jam, STP amongst the Punkrock CDs.

Does metallica count ah bala? Hahaha…

Will hop into your blog in a bit. Thanks bro.

Kak PI,

Takpe kak. Biar melenting sikit. Nak tunjuk si cilaka ni saya tak semudah bagi muka yg dia sangka. Kalo ahli keluarga pinky sekalipon. Yg pelik, apsal tak berani tegur pinky sendiri. Nak kata org pengecut, dia sendiri tak berani. Cehhh…

*nak nyanyi lagi…WE ARE THE WORLDDDDD…hihih…

thanks Kak Pi.

Unknown said...

Kerpie, its okay to let off steam once in a while. It will do you good.

Since you are a dear friend, I am going to contribute something of great value which I have been saving for a rainy day, and since it looks like a thunderstorm is looming, its yours to use for your chamber.

I have been saving a real good fart for the past 3 months. I hereby donates this fart for your chambers. Put him in.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

Hahaha… he’s very much in it and his stupid face is at everyone’s mercy. Fart his mouth good. I did my part this morning after a night out pigging out on nasi kandar, with boiled egg, ikan masin and fried chicken amongst the lauk. That oughtta produce mixed gases meant to shut his pie hole.

I’ve had it with this bastard. Either he reveal himself and tell us right in the face or shut the fuck up. Being a poof, I doubt he will do the former, not in the near future at least.

Thanks cikgu.

cakapaje said...

Salam bro,

To continue off from Cikgu, you should also ask Pak Zawi to contribute his, as his granddaughter said his fart could cause suffocation to anyone or anything!

Come to think about it, let me contribute mine, and lets add in those the smell of deodorant-less armpits as well! Sure pakai gas mask pun tak leh tolong! :)

Anyway, my view is like pi bani and anfield devotee as well, why bother with this fart? Ignore him and sooner he will be the one with frustration burning inside. Relax bro...

Anonymous said...

Jack,
Kenapa kau buat aku macam ni? Kenapaaaaaaaaaaaa????? Apa salah aku? Apa salah Daniel? Salah ke kalau kitorang bercinta??? Salah ke aku bercinta dengan orang macam Daniel. Tak pernah sedetik terlintas kat hati aku untuk membelakangkan ibu bapa.

Walau siapa pun kau,aku tak mahu tahu. Kalaupun kau ahli keluarga aku, aku tak nak tahu. Aku akan menyesal kalau aku tahu kau adalah seorang keluarga aku, sebab budi bahasa yang kau pakai memang tak pernah mak bapak aku ajar. Sangat biadap, sangat kurang ajr dan penuh dengan fitnah!

Kau boleh tuduh dan fitnah apa sahaja yang tak baik tentang aku dngn Daniel. Memang kau bebas tulis apa sahaja. Tapi segala kata-kata kesat aku dengan Daniel terhadap kau bukan sebab kami kurang ajar, tapi kerana kehadiran kau yang sentiasa menabur fitnah terhadap aku menyebabkan kami terpaksa berkasar dengan kau. HANYA KAU.

Kau ingatlah, hari ini kau boleh buat aku macam ni. Tuhan itu maha adil... aku sentiasa ingat itu. Kalau kau buat aku hari ni, kau tunggulah satu hari nanti tuhan akan buat kau lebih teruk dari apa kau buat kat aku sebab fitnah kau.

aku lebih terseksa kerana ada manusia macam kau yang terlalu keras dan busuk hati.

Tinesh said...

Haha I like!! On my bday the fuckface gets the gas chamber!! haha..Btw i really did think I clicked on Zorro's link haha

IBU said...

Kerp

The pic of the pengantin - I like!!!

When will we see similar pic featuring you & pinky?

Jemput tau!

Bailey said...

shall i send my people to beat this guy? :P

tokasid said...

Salam bro Kerp:

What? The Jack-ass is still bothering you. Apparently he can't get a life else where. I think he is bugging you to cover-up is ever limp impotent limb.

I suspect, he knew you and Pinky.And most probably you knew him too, and he is now stabbing you.

A low life like Jack-ass, an ugly hearted creature is something that should not be layaned from now on. Let him write all he want, just delete it. How long do you think he will continue.?

From tday ,I'll tighten up my kemut to store farts with enhancement of petai, jering, lots of telor rebus and durian. I'll have it deliver express if you get hold of Jack-ass.

My jejak Misri dah mula.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

Shah,

Yea I read pak zawi’s tag. Hilarious. All of sudden its farting here there and everywhere!

Yes bro, got my comment moderated. All his comments will not get to see the light of day, nor read by me or everyone. Finally, some PEACE. Ahhh…

Yo T,

You silly fucker. Should have mentioned abt your bday to me earlier la. We could always meet up, and I treat you some best roti canai with dalcha rumbe-rumbe. Its past 12am, but here’s wishing you anyway, a belated bday with many returns of it.

IBU!

Excuse my language but just cant help it. my sincerest apology.

insyaAllah, you and the rest are never forgotten. Cuma kena panjatkan doa pada Allah bnyk2.

Bailey,

Hey sister. Nahh…not necessary but thanks anyway. I believe I should be able to handle it diplomatically, by ignoring this twat. I don’t get to see any rubbish any longer but it doesn’t matter.

Doc,

Yea, I kinda figured it out somehow long time ago. But unless he comes up to me personally, his comments will automatically be deleted. Tak tau, takpe.

I wont be getting any unwanted comments from now on.

So anyway, this gas chamber idea came long prior to this one. wanted to get a politician in but what do I know abt that very subject anyway. But come to think of it, Malaysian gas chamber would smell the worst, with all the petai and stuff…haha…

Will get into your blog the soonest. Thanks doc.


And thanks all. You guys are just simply great.

constant drama said...

Enough with this Jack guy already, he is becoming like a somewhat celebrity on your blog now. I bet he is loving the attention. The ass.

Just let it be and be the better man Kerp.

Salt N Turmeric said...

Kerp, i nak menambahkan minyak ke api (macam fire rock like dat). kenapa ye mamat tu guna nama jack? mesti nama dia jempul or something like tht tapi sbb tak glamer sbb tu jadi jack. kahkahkahkah!

Tinesh said...

haha thnx a bunch dude..but it was pretty much low kewy save for the last minute plan to go clubbing..Lain kali la?? Still not too late for the roti haha

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

Tinesh dude,

Ofcourse la, I didn’t expect you to organize a birthday bash at Mcdonald’s or things like that. You’re old enough to vote already bro, just a reminder…hahaha…if you live somewhere near KJ, roti canai-meet is on.

Farina,

That jack name is an invitation for us to add something behind. I sure have like a few apart from the usual jack-ass. Hihi…you firestarter you!

CD,

Thanks for the reminder. Yup, I’ve got a new entry lined-up. I haven’t had much time to blog-hop. Needs to keep myself updated of what you were up to the past 2 weeks. Anything kinky for a start? Hihihi…


Thanks, friends.

cakapaje said...

Bro, just to inform you, you've been tagged!

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

shah...awesome la bro. will hop on to your blog in a while...thanks!

Anonymous said...

Jack,
Satu aje aku nak cakap. Dari azali lagi aku & Daniel tak pernah benci siapa-siapa. Kami boleh buktikan. Kalau kau bersedia untuk jumpa, kita boleh buktikan siapa yang musuh dengan siapa.

Terus terang kat sini kami tak pernah dendam dengan sesiapa. Aku DAN Daniel jugak janji tak akan marah kat kau, walau siapa pun kau, kalau kau bersedia untuk berjumpa secara gentleman. Kau sanggup untuk buktikan siapa yang memusuhi siapa sebenarnya.

Kami marah bila ada orang buat tuduhan dan fitnah yang tak betul tentang kami. Untuk adil, kita sama-sama minta maaf dan turunkan ego masing2... itu akan membuktikan segala-galanya. Kau sanggup? Tempat, biarlah kami tentukan. Yang lain kemudian sahaja kita buat perjanjian. Setuju????