A Metro Malay

The other day, while I was so engrossed picking my nose away, my nephew came into the room and related to me what a jerk some of his friends are, showing off their badminton racquets and all the stupid shit stupid kids love to brag about. There was this sad look in his eyes that in other words was telling me to get him one or he’ll be left behind amongst his pals. And so naturally being his wealthy uncle who happens to be a Malay, I feel it is part of my responsibility to take care of this matter instead of his parents, because for one reason, he is my beloved nephew. Secondly, I want to be seen as a cool uncle to them. Thirdly, it is an uncle’s duty to spoil his niece/nephew rotten and last and most importantly, I want him to beat the crap out of his boastful poseur friends, both on and off the court.

So over the weekend I went around looking for the best and up-to-date racquet available. Since I’m a rich guy, I thought I’d splash a bit for the kid’s sake and bought him one of those expensive brands endorsed by Lee Chong Wei the national shuttler.

Then I went on and spent a little more on a Belgian-made carpet for my room because I thought earlier right, my wealth would be more meaningful if I became a metrosexual. Suddenly it was about interior décor and practicality only comes second or third. As it turns out I didn’t last long because according to Pinky, I have to scrub my face nightly in order to become a metro dude.

It was an easy a decision to abandon such silly idea. The scrubbing, the face toning or whatever hay you call it,...and to do it on nightly basis; it takes a mighty effort to even brush my teeth every night to be adding on another such unnecessary chores.

Besides, after all the spending I did, I am officially broke for this month. The worst part is we have yet to reach the middle of the month and I’ve already used all my money up.

I am still a rich unmetrosexual guy by the way you know- by name. Its crucial to keep my status as that because Malays are supposed to be wealthy-bunch. However, I may have to change my lifestyle as suggested by our wonderful and smart leaders and start rationing on our rice intake.

Talking about rationing, I have like 3 days to go before I can spend on an item again as hopefully the JKM people should have by then, banked in my monthly wage.

Now though, I am so beat I can barely open my eyes. Since I have no idea where this entry is leading me to, I should just quit, finish off the cup of hot latte- a preferred choice for trendy Metro Malays- and hit the sack.

Boingggggggggggggggggg…………