Thursday, May 1, 2008

A YB In Waiting

So the parliament had its first sitting today and for the first time it was broadcasted live for half an hour. I didn’t get to watch but managed to catch some of the sessions in news earlier. Well, it was basically the same old shit, as expected.

Nothing new about their antics but what irks me like hell was that to some of these fuckers, making fun of someone’s disability seems acceptable. The subject that matters is of course the DAP guy and hey, this fella can be a real jerk and even I have to agree with that but poking fun because he’s handicapped is down right appalling. That shows how narrow-minded our YBs are. They’re voted in and paid all kinds of allowances just to insult a fellow parliamentarian. And of course, that chap being on wheelchair makes him an even easier target.

I think I have seen enough of these wankers already, in fact from both sides of the floor. I have now started to look forward and gearing up for PRU13. Regrettably I have like 4 years to wait or so, to put up with all shits happening right there in the parliament house. But these 4 years also mean I have ample time to give a serious thought about running for one of the parliamentary seats.

Reason for wanting to be voted in apart from serving the people and all that typical bullshit; making fun of other Ybs’ ugly pig face.

The speaker may not be amused but hey its ok, I’m a YB.

And once I’ve become a big-shot YB, I can go on a molesting-spree. Its ok, I’m already a well-known YB. And the best part is I’ll have the privilege of handling an all-access pass, any corner of the country you name it; The Mindef, Istana Negara, PM’s office, Cigar Lounges, the Ladies’,…

…I can because get this, I’m a fucking YANG BERHORMAT.

24 comments:

zorro said...

Dont let mummy see this....I dont want to experience an implosion next door.

Kata Tak Nak said...

Kerp,
When you get to be YB, let me wheel you around. I'll test everything for you, you know this is national security. If in a bar, you feel like groping someone, I'll do it first, who knows she may have bombs strapped around her?

mozisgod said...

tuan kerpov,

dude, very, very
valid point.
you tugged a string there mate

"They’re voted in and paid all kinds of allowances just to insult a fellow parliamentarian.."

repeat that sentence, over..and over...and what you get is an almost contemporaneous drone; albeit apathetic. blandly callous
guess whatwe're paying for these days:
statements being electro-whisked at the throttle of a dick-inheat..to the joy, merrimment & harmless pleasure of the floor & the four20s that reside in it; except..the moot point here being..
they're getting stoned
on somethin else.
the "stigma" of bein'a YB dan semue yg sewaktu denganye.*pantattt*

cheers bro. good one

YB - "yang benar" daa,
moz.

p.s. moz? what are you stoned on?:)))

p.sing 2, just checked out FFS, on tuan balakov's write-up of good ol' selangor nights at merdeka. almost got teary-eyed thinkin about it..mwhaha..but really la bro..those were some of the best times of my life dude.
crammed in stinkin' buses just to catch a game; especially the ones with farkinpundek singapoh..(i managed to get a ticket of one sgor-spore game in my whole life..and believe yu me it was worth my arse..heehheh) *sigh*

now with respect to your prospective challenge for PRU-13, i got just the right campaign song for ya mate...AND I KNOW YOU WILL KNOW THIS SONG..altogetherr noww..

"jangaaan tunggu lama-lamaaaaaa..
nanttiii laaaama-laMAAA..
DIA DIAMBILLLL ORGHANNNGGGGG"

i can feel the terraces vibrate
at this goddamned moment.

Tinesh said...

Pukimak sial this fler..

I wrote in my blog that YB currently stands for Yang Berbodoh.

Yang Bastard pun boleh

anfield devotee said...

Dear Kerp, that's Barisan Najis fer you la. . .

ps: You gonna run as independent or under one of the parties? How bout new party - Barisan Porno?

Daphne Ling said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Daphne Ling said...

Yo Kerpie,

"Ybs’ ugly pig face"...

I think pigs around the world will not be very happy with that statement ;)

PS: Sorry, the deleted comment was me...=)

galadriel said...

antics darling... antics.
And keep ur naughty hands to urself...YB or not.
Else i'll cakap kat mak.

U did raise some valid points tho.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

Uncle B,

Don’t worry, mommy has never read any of my postings, or she’d go nuts to learn her sweet sonny been into politics a bit too much for her liking…


Cikgu,

No sir, when it comes to groping, a YB must be in the frontline. This is a yb that cares…eheheheh


Mozzz,

Dude I think you said it much better than I ever could. You should get your own blog my man. reading your comment never fail to amuse me la wei…

Don’t tell me you’re a selangor fan to macha? Or shall I say, an ex-fan. Dude, I was a their fan through and through and as you mentioned, to be in a sardine-pack sri jaya week in week out was nothing already to some of us mat selangor. Yea man, I was always in the middle of the red/yellow wave munching on ayam goreng while provoking the Alsatians taking their place before the game starts. Shit those were the days, to experience life as a real football fan/hooligan (is selangor lsoses)…hehehehe…


T man,

Yea, that fella’s a Yang Bastard. Maybe he thought it was funny but the truth is he’s making a fool of himself. It was lame, unfunny and plain stupid lah.


Bala!

Barisan porno sounds good. I’ll elect you as our permanent chairman.

*still mourning are you bro? lets look at the bright side, new season is only 3 months away.


Daph…

Ya la…maybe I should change it to ugly dead pig’s face instead.

*have you got things finalized yet? its already weekend, gotta make decision fast.


Anu!

Ahh yes, my mistake..antics.

I have been behaving I could put an ustaz/priest/monk to shame.

wanshana said...

Kerp,

You'll get my undi, for sure :)

But, once you're a YB, sure you'll introduce a bill -

"Hanya YBs yang dibenarkan untuk "menggrope" sesiapa sahaja yang para YB suka, di mana-mana saja..."

Anonymous said...

Hi Kerp, I agree with daphne, even pigs are better than some of our MPs, but better than molesting, if you are a MP, you can con millions and smuggle them out to Australia. Maybe not...coz you've got this blog to prove that you understand English, how? What can i say but downright shameful lah, better dont do a live telecast, imagine it on CNN, very soon will be like Taiwan's parliament, hurling chairs and tables, but on the other hand also good lah, let the whole malaysians see what goons we/they've elected. I cant compare them to animals, not fair to the animals LAH! M.kate

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

Kak shana,

Thanks for the vote. Will definitely visit your area again, in 4 years time…hehehe…

This yb only gropes his loved one…)


Mary!

That’s the very reason why the need to be a yb. You’re rich, influential and you can grope buttocks and get away with it.

As for the telecast, I think they should carry on with it. Malaysians can witness the wrong-doings of certain ybs and them monkeys can no longer deny and blame on the media.

*still looking for the right time and place to meet up. Any idea?

IBU said...

pssstttt.... dah baca Tun's blog? Syiooookkk....

Tinesh said...

I also wana contest under Barisan Porno :D

monsterball said...

Waaaa....You very angry mood in this post.
Apah hal? No service from sweetheart ka?
But..I like your straight to the point....no nonsense....attitude.
Only time ...you hehehehehe or kekekekeke..is at kata tak nak's blog....correct?
Notce the word 'corect" is so much used after Lingam....koret. It's now a national holy word....hahahahahahaha
How's life treating you?

tokasid said...

Salam YB Kerp:

YB di jemput menghadiri ke majlis perasmian Raba-Raba Kopitiam (RRK)sebagai tetamu kehormat.

Aturcara:

7.00 pm: Ketibaan YB Datuk Seri Ahmad Kerpov bersama pegawai keselamatan Datuk Paduka Che'gu Kata Nak Memang Nak.

7.10 pm: Kata -kata aluan oleh pengacara majlis En ZAM( dalam bahasa Malaysia agar majlis tidak tergagap-gagap)

7.11pm:Ucapan dari towkay Raba-Raba Kopitiam En Lim Ah Yek dan En. S.Vellu

7.12pm:Ucapan perasmian oleh YB DS Ahmad Kerpov

7.12.45 pm: Acara perasmian dgn meraba-raba waitresses yang ada di RRK

8.30pm: Acara perasmian raba-raba tamat.

8.40pm: Jamuan ringan tetamu.(Ada tosei,char koay teow,Tempe goreng berlada,kari kepala kambing)

9.15pm: Acara karaoke lagu-lagu chacha dan dangdut.

9.15 pm: YB Ahmad Kerpov akan menyampaikan sebuah lagu dari album Inul bertajuk Raba-Raba Aku Dong Ah!

11.59pm: Acara penutup majlis oleh YB Ahmad kerpov dgn lagi raba-raba.

03.00 am: Acara lapuran polis oleh waitresses ke atas YB Ahmad Kerpov.

03.47am: Acara lapuran polis di tarik balik.

monsterball said...

RM10k...get you Datuk
50k.Tan Sri
100k......TUN
So said the birdies. So call for donations...and be YB..as DATUK.
I and KTN sure to support....what say you?
And if you want to bulldose into any office with KTN..wheeling you in...then I want to volunteer ..be in front....shouting..."Make way for YB...KERP!!" .......like a China man Emperor...coming in.
Anyone stopping you...needs to overcome me first.
How's that sound to you?

cakapaje said...

Salam kerpie,

Dei bro, you're behind times da! YB no means 'Yang Berkhidmat!'. Those &*^(&@$ YB you refer to, they just don't realise that they are extinct already! :)

cakapaje said...

ps Kerpie,

Kalau free, tolong baca my latest entry dan berikan idea bernas. Terima kasih :)

sankochan said...

ha!!?? Don't understand~~~

But ha!! You sakit hati right when they talk crap about the disable??

What about the woman that they constantly talk SHIT about!!! TO TOOT OF ALL THE PEOPLE IN THERE!!!

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

IBU!

Eh mesti la dah…lama daaahhhhh…siap tulis komen panjang2 lagi…I might even linking it up from here.


T,

You’re counted. If we succeed in forming a government, I’ll let you handle a new portfolio- kementerian kebajikan dan homoseksual.


Mr Goh,

My sweetheart serves me wonderfully, with lotsa love ofcos…hehehe…just got a little bit political nowadays, joining the orgy.

Come and support us, the new party will be known as party porno. Orgy will be legalized….hehehheheheh



Doc!

Good one. cant help laughing my ass off. Datuk seri? Does that mean i’m good enough for the MB post? Tan sri khalid is doing a great job. It will be quite a shoe to fill in.


Shah,

Sorry man. I want to be known as Yang BERHORMAT still. Not just I want people to show me respect, the rakyat are required to worship me. I wanna carve my name as the Lenin of asia. Then its world-domination for my party. I’ll be more powerful than marx, Lenin, Hitler, bush…


Sandra,

We cant let them say anything as they please. Just because they’re YB doesn’t mean they’re respected. Fuck that, no way. ok, maybe it was meant as a joke but it was the lamest he’s better off to hang himself and die a silly man.

*enjoying your life there huh? I really envy you lah girl. your uncle owns some light aircraft, I’d quit my studies just to work with him.

monsterball said...

With those terms and conditions..die die I will support you. Just name a day and time...I will sign up.
Love to see a party promoting..love..not hatred.
And love is blind...see no races.
No wonder..kata tak nak wants to be your wheeler dealer...carrying your balls...for the first..first..first come first serve basis.
Luckily...I volunteered to be infront...first to die.....or first to get served.....hahahahahahaha
Glad you are happy with your better half.

Kerp (Ph.D) said...

mr goh,

since you're the frontliner, your job is to check on the male, and i'll handle the rest...hehehehehe...

monsterball said...

What is this!!'I volunteer to be in front...to die...before one tries to do you up....and you tell me..fuck the men. And one least suspected...is a female!!!This offer to be a front-liner...is totally different from Sheih's appointment to me la.
He said for life...now I am the most moderated guy in his blog....as service no more needed....woowaaaweeee[crying}
But when his supermom died..he phoned me up la...proving he still keeps me as front-liner in his heart.
Now........you want to try the stunt...using me....get 500 bullets protecting you......and you enjoy with the few..sweet young thing?
You very gatal blogger.. la
But never mind..never try ..never know...and always not too old too learn. I accept!!
I also...never say die type of person...even with 3 failed marriages.....there is always room for one more........hahahahahaha
One or two commented...my engine may not work!! I say.......bring them on...the more the merrier.
Die...doing a job..fucking is the best way to go...like Bruce Lee.....hahahahaha
And for this.......kata tak nak ...may disagree with me...pointing out....sleep death .is the best...as if monsterball.. don't know.