Nursery Crime

For the past 2-3 weeks, I’ve been helping mom baby-sitting my niece and nephews. Not that I’m complaining. Why should I because in the first place it has been fun. I get to watch repeats of Barney the retarded purple dinosaur and sing the catchiest number 1 nursery rhyme hit single Skip To My Lou, where the song goes something like “Ants on the apple a, a, a, a..’. it was so catchy I think it’ll permanently stuck in my head.

Hmm…

Dude! I said my wish was to be the coolest uncle, not a loser.

Since I wanted to get away from the chaotic routine so much, I got my well-deserved break over the weekend, albeit an eventful one.

It started off on Friday, with all the hype surounding a certain nobody enjoying his one day of fame thanks to one Sheila Rahman, he was actually the toast of the week. But I can confirm with everyone that this dude will not lose his head and last time checked, he still had his feet figuratively on the ground.

With that said, I can now write on what I like to write best; bragging.

Now that I’m universally famous, I feel it’s the right time to renew my ambition of forming and managing a techno/punk band and name it The Elementals. Its kinda weird you know for out of sudden it was all about trolls this, toyol that, leprechauns this and all the dwarf-y mythical creatures here, there and under your bed and inside your panty drawer, its everywhere. Not just in my blog, but at least a couple of others as well.

Anyway, someone said this name would fit a disco gay group more, maybe he was a huge fan of the Village People I don’t know but still I’m sticking to this cool band name.

Right, so that settles it then. The Elementals. The first thing I need to do as the manager is to gather talented bunch of musicians, preferably midgets. This will come in handy because I can foresee that nosey showbiz journalists will have that typical ‘why the name Elementals?’ question posed. Besides, nobody can give those Blue Man Group freaks a run for their money than a bunch of cool little people musicians.

And what better ways to start right away than to do covers of nursery rhymes, with a Biafra-like lyrical twist.

It would be something like, ‘Anus is an asshole a, a, a’ or ‘Cats are cunts c, c, c’ or better still *‘D----- is dreaming d, d, d’.

I’ve got some shit coming up in a bit that if I don’t quit this I may lose out on a bigger opportunity that comes a knocking on the front door. It’s the biggest so far and I am keen to go further if given the chance and ample time to gather my confidence that has been missing in my life for more than a decade now. Pray for me friends!

* the name has been censored due to this blogger’s recent exposure in the MSM.