Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Dial-up: I feel so Yesterday

Damn it man, I have been without any internet connection since last week and calling the TM guys have been very much part of my boring routine these past few days.

Now that this case affects even my bread & butter, it in a way has given me a reason to harass them every minute and call them names for all the crappy crap crap I have to put up with.

But I’ve got my temper checked. They came up with a valid reason; that some cables near my place were stolen and as far major repair is concerned, it is going to take a while before normal service can be fully restored. Whether or not it’s a genuine excuse, I’ll just be a sucker and suck up to everything they want to tell me.

One option is to create a dial-up connection, which I did and painfully on right now. I dont know about you guys but after so many years of relying on high-speed broadband for any Internet activity, surfing on a dial-up connection can be a real test of the nerve. It is just not surf-able and super duper crappy kuasa dua.

Nothing that I want now than to have my broadband connection back. It feels so weird without it. Its been almost a week since I last drooled on pictures of naked anime soccer moms that I myself feel so naked, only minus the eroticism.

And political news, fuck man, I need more balance report before the terrestrial tv can claim victory to have successfully persuaded a sucker to buy all the grandmother’s story they cook everyday. Ok maybe not that simple but to a certain degree, I too need to know what’s been cooking on the other side of the fence.

I think I’ll just get the hay outta here for now. To those who left feedback in the previous post, rest assured I will get back to you once the connection comes back.

Lets hope it wont take its own sweet time.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Back to life

The worst part about a vacation is the end of it, or the long journey back home.

After spending days in a dreamland, getting back to reality can be extremely dreadful, which is exactly what I’m experiencing right now. Breaking out of routine is almost heavens-like but getting back to it is triple the hell that sometimes I wish I had not taken any break in the first place.

Ok, maybe not about coming back as you tend to miss your room at some point of the holiday break but to kick-start your routine again is what makes it tough. To add to the misery, you are greeted with piles of workload craving for your attention to get it done.

Getting out of the usual routine is what I look forward to the most when on a holiday and the last trip was no different. I managed to stay clear completely from any news; be it the newspapers, the ever-so-crap news on terrestrial tv stations, blogs and even from any sports event, from F1 to Arsenal’s league game. Well…ok maybe not the last one.

Who am I kidding right? Although I stayed away from the tele on that footie night, my mind was always at The Emirates. I specifically told my friend to only let me in on the full time result but as if that would work. Anyway, glad it was a favourable result or the whole vacation would have been ruined. Maybe I should plan my next holiday during international friendly weekend. That ought to do it.

Now its back to square one, struggling to find the rhythm of getting back to a boring life again.

I should just stay at home for now while making some bucks.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Yamseng to all the guys!

As usual, I’ll be making my weekend hiatus, only this time it starts much earlier. In the mean time I will leave you guys with a video that some of you might enjoy it to bits.

This entry in a way, is specially dedicated to all you men who have been kind enough to frequently visit this humble blog.

Plus, I’ve got a point to prove, if you know what I mean.


Ok fellas, let's get down to it, grab your own mic and everybody all together now…

Monday, October 13, 2008

More about Kerp

Finally after a long absent it makes its round again and being a whore at it, it was only a matter of time before I am tagged. Thanks to Missy Constant Drama, the lady who passes the tag baton, now everybody will get to know me up-close and erotically personal. Ok maybe not that close but 15 random facts I’m required to reveal of myself, which can be pretty revealing too.

So here goes…

No 1. This has nothing to do with the latest move by a certain dumb state gomen but I’ve always wanted a federal Datukship. Not for the status but its monthly allowance.

No 2. I can wriggle both my ears but it never crossed me to join any freak shows nor political parties.

No 3. Contrary to popular belief, I only have 9 sexual fetishes instead of 10.

No 4. Once I spent a whole ill gotten RM150 on an Irish hat instead of food. I’m a Muslim!

No 5. I once killed a rabbit with a Thundercat sword.

No 6. I’ve never watched Titanic and am damn proud of it, man!.

No 7. I read one book per year because am already an accomplished smart ass.. S-m-r-t, smart!

No 8. Me was a closet Paul Gascoigne fan.

No 9. I can’t complete a day without a plate or 3 of plain rice.

No 10. Caught peeping once.

No 11. Trying to be less homophobic as possible.

No 12. During my earlier stage being a crippled dude, the sight of wheelchair disgusts me to bits.

No 13. I still have some soft spots reserved for Selangor football club.

No 14. I can still do this- *hand gesture*.

No 15. A big fan of Jackie Chan’s, which begs a question if he will ever conferred a Tan Sriship. He has after all, made more than one movie here.

There we have it. Any questions will not be entertained in public.

Now to pass it on-

Shah, you’re one. Cikgu nazir, Bala, you guys too. Farina, kak Pi, Anita akka, you’re it, ladies. Pak Zab, you’re it. Razlin, Dato Jaff, both It. DocTA, Jim Broga, Mad Salo, Elviza, all are it. Lim Kit Siang, you’re it. Khir Toyo, Husam Musa, it. Ir Nizar, Ali, Kayveas, it, it, it and it…fuck it, you’re all it.

Friday, October 10, 2008


10 ways for a political party to redeem itself and make it more relevant and appealing to the masses, particularly today’s young generation.

1. Get rid of all the deadwoods. They’re a pest and a liability not just to the party, but the world population as a whole.

2. Prohibit a certain guy who is a known dumbass from contesting the number two post that could possibly pave way for him to take over the top seat. The last thing the youth needs is to gamble on the future by having a stupid asshole running the show.

3. Racist must be sacked immediately. Too many assholes will only dent the party’s credibility deeper.

4. Youth wing should do without old geezers at the helm.

5. See-through attire for the Puteris. A sure bet to appeal to the male (and some female) masses.

6. Pink trousers for the youth wing. If that does not attract much attention, I don’t know what will.

7. Rope in the real deal clowns. As the saying goes; leave it to the pros.

8. Money politics must go. 200 bucks is downright an insult unless…the bribery fetches up to rm10k per vote.

9. Treat all members like VIP. Everybody gets to cramp the exclusive room and join the orgy with their older counterparts. Sure more to sign up.

10. Give me a multi-million Ringgit project and I’ll reveal point number 10.

The weirdness is getting out of hand. In my mind I picture a gnome-like creature taking over the hot seat come March. But come to think of it, better goblins than a mere puppet.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Gardening part III

I don’t know about you folks but I’m very much still in festive mood. Since however, I have some issues with our cabinet ministers a.k.a the so-called VIPs that needs to be straightened out, I thought I’d take a break from the celebration, take a swipe at them and will be on my way again.

I have long accepted the fact I’m not a VIP. Which means if I had attended the PM’s annual open house do recently, I wont get to enjoy raya goodies in the comfort of VIP’s section that separates these bastards from the people.

And these are the same bunch claiming to be people’s leaders?

Come on tell me, why the need to have a special room for these lot, instead of mingling around, or queuing up for food for that matter just like hordes of attendees did that day?

To be quite honest, I personally couldn’t see the rationale behind this VIP room thing when the event was supposed to be one of the rare occasions when these fellas should instead mix around, rubbing shoulders with the people or simply sit next to an average joe for a meal or two.

I refuse to use the word commoner on us. That’d only make those fuckers feel more important than the crowd, who took the trouble enduring long queues just to catch a glimpse of our so-called big-shot leaders.

Well, get this; Fuck all cabinet ministers. Maaf zahir dan batin.