The Gas Chamber, LGL-style.

Now before you think you’ve accidentally clicked on a link that leads to Zorro-Unmasked, you’re definitely not. Only that the picture above and idea were stolen from the legendary wise man himself. I haven’t asked Uncle Bernard for his permission because it was way late into the night, so obviously he was…out somewhere chugging on a full keg. Ok I'll sms and inform him now.

Ahh yes…the good Ol’ Mexican Gas Chamber. Numerous faces, of political figures mostly, have tasted the smell of nasty flatus, freshly and voluntarily pressed through, evacuating from anuses. Even one certain chief justice was remanded and deservingly extended his stay for being such an ass.

But this is no Zorro-Unmasked. Its Lets Go Land with a little twist, the LGL style.

Here's the thing. Again. A certain pig-faced moron named Jack asked for it. This is the same shithead who came in here and over-stayed when he was not welcomed in the first place. And being such a stupid son of a cheap-whore he is, all his comments are worth less than a useless turd. Only his mom cost cheaper.

What makes him think I’d graciously take in all his advice is way beyond me. Seriously, who the fuck does he think he is? One thing I am sure of, this wanker's a pathetic loser living a sorry life trying his utmost best minding other people's business.

Seriously, does he actually believe that by telling me off Pinky would really pack up and leave?

Wei Jack the scat-lover, Trust me you faggot, it aint moving. Whatever your deranged mind orders your stinkin’ mouth to say a few words… No, wait. Let it be more than a thousand words, it aint gonna fucking move us.

I would love to believe you’re not that stupid for being a product of nasty inbreeding but my belief dwindles when you turned up again showcasing your extreme stupidity. Seems that you know me more than everyone here as you claimed, when you’ve never met me in the first place. So what are you, a fucking clairvoyant? Nobody knows me more than Pinky herself. Forget it man, shove it all your knowledge about us up your dad’s sodomised ass.

WE KNOW WHO WE ARE, me and Pinky. We don’t need no moral police telling us all the stupid crap we shouldn’t be doing. You can go ahead calling us rude. Fuck that. Coming from you, we couldn’t be bothered. Go eat some dog shit.

Woi Jack bodoh, aku tulis bahasa england ko tak paham sebab ko bodoh. Dengar sini, komen2 ko semua sampah. MULUT KO BAK KUMBAHAN. Jangan pikir apa yang ko tulis boleh ubah hati aku ataupun Pinky, sebab ko tu beruk yang pengecut. Cakap orang takut, cermin diri ko tu dulu. Tengok baik2, selain dari muka macam babi, apa lagi yang ko nampak. Sekarang ni kalau ko ikhlas sangat, macam ko kata ko ni ahli keluarga Pinky, tegur je dia depan muka. Lagipon ko boleh temberang sape ko ni sebenarnya. Tapi tak, sebab ko berhati busuk, dengki dan jealous, tu sebab ko Cuma berani berselindung belakang computer je. Ko kata Pinky tak beradab, habis ko baik sangat? Aku cakap baik2 tapi ko tannak dengar and datang dengan cara kurang ajar. Memang sah mak bapak ko tak ajar ko pon. Wei anjing, tunjukkan diri ko tu. Kalau tak berani tak payah nak sound2 orang lain. Sedar la diri sendiri tu. Apsal ko pengecut sangat nak tegur Pinky?

Lagi sekali aku nak ingatkan ko, apa yang ko tulis takkan buat hati aku dengan Pinky berubah walau seinci.. Sementara tunggu ko untuk perkenalkan diri, jangan harap aku akan tunduk dengan kata2 ko yang berbaur hasad dengki. tak payah nak cakap soal kesopanan, ko tu jaga adab ko. Aku kenal diri aku lebih dari ko yang kuat memandai. Sape diri ko tak penting sebab ko berselindung. Percaya la, aku takkan terkejut beruk walau dari spesis beruk mana ko datang.

So in the mean time, this Jack-ass shit fella will be locked in the chamber and farted on for eternity.

Don’t worry uncle B, this is only a one-off and the chamber wont be hijacked permanently. Unless I am forced to, it shall only be used to stuff in political idiots.

Regrettably, I have to temporarily moderate all comments. But I can assure all friends, you know who you are, who writes in, all comments will be published, un-edited. Never am I running from any truth and hide, but all his words will only dirty this blog, which was supposed to be public friendly. I would not take any chance of tainting LGL with all the shit he vomits, and so the moderation is necessary.

ISA

ISA

Such taboo a word lately. Hop into the sopo blogs and chances are you'll bump into this very word. Not wanting to be left out, I should say my piece too.

So tell me, what in the world is he...Tan Sri Isa Abd Samad up to now days? Its been a while since he was under UMNO's spotlight enjoying money politics.

Oh heck, he could well be under the Teluk Kemang sun instead, with only his swimming trunks on, having fun tanning himself silly.

kahkahh...so cacat.

Flushing Down Another Myth

Its December, and its simply that time of the year again when you get invited to a wedding on every weekends. Yea man, I’ve got like almost weekly. In fact, I attended one way before December began.

Just to flush down another myth, I can’t resist but to highlight on this one particular wedding. The groom was of course, a very close friend of mine, and he’s on a freakin’ wheelchair, taking the plunge with an able-bodied woman. Couldn’t be sweeter than that. The bride’s a nurse so no prize in guessing where they first met.

I was not his best-man for the day but prior to the groom’s side reception, we got closer as the wedding date nears. I was asked to accompany him and his dear wifey to as far as Melacca to extend an invitation to our best friend there, another cacat fella on wheelchair.

And so a week later, the wedding-do took place as planned, just like any other. The dais, kompang, good food, jokers, loud music and all things necessary for wedding events are well equipped. Surprise, surprise, there was no father-in-law creating a scene with a machete in hand and shits like that. His in-laws are receptive-bunch. Nor there was any ambulance on stand-by incase the groom suffers any mental problem and start to go bananas and requires emergency attention from them paramedics to be sent immediately to the nearest nuthouse or something like that. What do you think? He’s on wheelchair for goodness’ sake, and NOT mentally deranged.

Not that I’m trying to prove anything. The picture below tells a thousand story.

And yet I still get this one narrow-minded fool telling otherwise. Whatever dude. Coming from an idiot, don’t ever expect me to take in all the advice and listen to all the crap he has to say. Get bent.

I may not be able to walk but that does not mean I cant love or be loved. Does not mean I can’t earn a living or incapable of protecting my loved ones. And get this, when insulted, don’t expect me to take the kick lying down. We have our rights, and lefts too. If you think I’m an easy prey, then go ahead, just don’t go running back home and tell your dear mommy you were not warned.

My only wish, as everyone may have figured by now, is to get married and God willing, protect her from any harm. In the first place, it is not about who protecting whom. Its never about she takes care of the financial department for being the able-bodied between us. Its not about her doing all the things for me. We’re in it together, obviously its about us, TAKING CARE OF EACH OTHER. Simple as that.

For the record, Tok Mommy was also at the wedding reception.

Apa Khabar, YB?

Forget about the back-page headliners, which I would normally nose-dive to first thing in the morning. For some matters close to the heart, I chose to make today an exception.

Yeah, yeah, so we lost, big deal. Boohoo.

Moving along.

As I picked The Star newspaper today, a picture of an accident victim on the front page caught my attention. It was none other than YB Datuk Paduka Chew Mei Fun, the Parliamentary Secretary for the Women, something something and development Ministry, who was involved in a terrible road mishap last night. I could always provide you with the link to the online news report for your convenience but surely you guys have read it in the newspaper while taking your dump this morning.

Briefly about the unfortunate incident. She was with her men on their way to Kuantan to deliver some aid to the flood victims there when the car they were traveling in skidded and turned turtle. As a result, she had her collarbone fractured while her men were more fortunate to escape with only minor injuries.

Now, why should I give a shit about this YB some may ask. Here’s the thing. Although she’s not exactly the rep for the constituency where I’m residing, I was privileged to get the opportunity to meet her in person and forwarded my grouses recently. Normally when you seek assistance from these people, they’d assure you help is on its way and all the empty-can promises but not Chew. Knowing her busy schedule, it was only natural for her to appoint her right-hand man to take my case, and boy, how amazed I was to see the guy appointed did his job well. He did all the follow-ups necessary to ensure I get the attention from the relevant party involved. And I thought all YBs closes one eye and make fun of the handicapped community. She proved me wrong.

Before you guys have this weird and crrrrrazy idea I’m one of them dickhead cyber-troopers, I am not.

I’ve stated clearly of my political stand but I always have some soft spots reserved for them MCA people for their dedication in handling and dealing with the people, regardless of their race and religion. That Michael Chong fella is a case in point.

As a common citizen, my wish is to live in a better neighborhood. I only see immediate problems as a main cause for concern and MCA have played their parts well. Maybe some have points to counter my claim and I respect that. But don’t you think I deserve some too, for hoping to live in at least a decent environment? I don’t see any wrong in casting my vote for a certain race-based party as long they get their asses down and be with the people more. I judge them on how well they can keep their promises made during election campaigns. And so far, MCA has delivered. Hey, after all, aren’t all the existing political parties a bunch of racist-bigots themselves?

Yeah, a Malay Muslim declaring himself an MCA man. So fucking what? this is Malaysia. No big deal.

To those YBs who licks their superior's rumps for a living. time to switch to Rakyat's asses...


...because, get this... we're the BOSS.

*Here’s anyway, wishing Datuk Paduka Chew Mei Fun a speedy recovery. In the mean time, she has her reliable men she can count on to get the business going.

Tuesday with the Crips

I had meant to get something on the national-level OKU day event posted earlier but a certain dog-rapist steered my mind off of the track a bit.

Ok, Let’s Go then. It was quite a grand celebration. Attended by OKUs of different shapes and sizes, I summed it up the do was well organized by the JKM people and I believe those involved deserve a pat in the back for making the day a great success.

The occasion kicked off at 7.30 when I was still very much under the duvet. What I had wished for came true. The night before, I received a call from Mobiliti to inform the van will only come and pick me up at 9.30.

The good thing about the event was it was not compulsory for anyone to be in the hall all the time. I think those in there are made of bosses from various peer groups, the down-syndrome kids with their carers and family members, volunteers as well as the JKM staffs and officers coming from in and around the Klang Valley area. Those who were not interested with performances and speeches are free to roam about doing their own business outside. Booths selling all stuff cacat were set up and buffet-breakfast was served with several types of sandwiches and cakes to dig in.

Datuk Sri S was on her way up the stage to deliver the year’s most eagerly anticipated speech when me and some of the lads were just about to head down to the smoking section and as a result we completely missed on what she had to say all together. I mean, err… aww shucks. Looks like we have to wait till next year to catch such meaningful speech again. God knows how dissapointed I was I wept some tears of......joy?

So anyway…

I could go on and on but its cold outside that I’m yawning away while writing this. I just feel like getting into bed and nothing else.

Errm, yes, maybe I’ll just stop now. As for the rest of the event, I promise you it was great. Lunch was great, goody-bags were handed out to each and everyone, phone numbers swapped and all things wonderful. And by 1pm it was over.

That’s just about it, a simple and crappy review written by a crappy man from a crappy land.

Yay, bed time. woohoo…

I swear I need some rest.

Pics courtesy of my phone

What's this now?

Now here’s quite an interesting feedback I received since I got my previous entry posted. A very ‘concerned’ someone named jack had left a few comments, which personally I think of a bit unfriendly advice in nature. And he went one step further by telling me I cannot accept facts like I cant make my girl friend happy for being on wheelchair. Maybe because I deleted all his comments the reason for this fella to say such thing.

Don’t worry, buddy. It was an honour to have you dropping by that I should do the next best thing. I’m publishing everything on what you have said here in the front page. You wanted to remind me, so by having all that what you have written, it should serve that very purpose.

So here you have them. Just to remind all friends, these are the exact words he wrote meant for me hoping I'd give second thought concerning my relationship with my girlfriend.

1. betul ke you nak khawin dengan dia? Macam tak padan je...sori.

2. napa u delete i punya comment ha...u tk blh terima yerrrr....sori lah tp itu la hakikatnya...i bkn nk mengutuk u tp u kena lah pikirrrrrr....u sanggup ker bila u kawin ngan girlfriend u girlfriend u akan hidup tersiksa....u mesti nk tgk dia happy kan tp klu girlfriend u kawin ngan u mcm mn lah girlfriend u nk happy...jgn mareeeeee..u memang le happy sentiasa............

3. u ni apa lah....i cuma nk u sedar diri sikit...itu jer....i kesian kan girlfriend u 2...i tau family grilfriend u mesti susah terima u kan...klu terjadi kat family u, u blh terima ker (mesti u tk leh terima)???u sellfish....

4.biar lah girlfriend u 2 kawin ngan org lain...u cari lah pompuan lain...masih tk terlambat lg klu u nk lepaskn girlfriend u 2...pikir-pikir kn laaaaaaaaa

5. bila i baca blog u nie kan,i rasa u nie memang mulut laser..how ur girl can stay wit u?u tk guna ur brain when u talk.u think all people like u..

thank you for all the shitty reminder jack. Now you’ve said your piece, I truly believe it is solely up to me to either accept it or otherwise, no?

Here are some of my points for you to ponder, and it will be up to you too, to put it in your brain or stick to what you believe in. Suits yourself, dude.

We’ve been together for ages that we don’t need no shitty advice especially coming from a stranger.

Oh what do you know. Only one point needed to put things straight.

Tell me, where have I gone wrong to be given such advice from a person who hides behind his anonymity?

How about this, bro. If you are indeed sincere, quit throwing rubbish from your little hide-out. I’m open to criticism and I know where I ‘stand’ but being insulted is totally a different matter all together. Be a man now and reveal yourself. That’s all I’m asking. Thank you.

To all friends, i'm not asking you to agree with me blindly so do point out too where have I gone wrong. I'd be happy to listen to your views too, be it to criticise or to support. Thank you.

Jalan-Jalan Cari Accessibility

Some time back, after watching Jalan-Jalan Cari Makan (JJCM), we decided to head down to one of the restaurants featured in that particular episode for dinner. Looking at the variety of food this said restaurant has to offer in their menu, they’ve successfully attracted pigs to go all the way and try all the stuff out for a reasonable price.

And so with empty stomachs and watering mouths, all of us enthusiastically made our way to that place situated somewhere in Ampang, which is quite a distance for us coming from Kelana Jaya. The thought of their signature roast chicken was the factor we ventured out on that Saturday night and missed international football matches in the process. I mean, one whole succulent grilled masala chicken is worth the night out than to stay home watching a meaningless friendly involving England, right? Right.

But what do we know, the night didn’t turn out as we had planned and hoped for. As we found out, this bloody restaurant which had even Tunku Maria Sabri drooling earlier in the day, was on top of some stupid platform and patrons need to climb up a few flight of steps to get in. And I was like, yay, there goes my chicken, literally up in smoke, and I could only enjoy the smell from afar.

I think if we had summoned the manager or owner or whoever feck was in charge, he or she wouldn’t mind instructing the restaurant workers, waiters, chicken, cooks and car jockeys to help lift me up the freaking steps as Malaysians are caring bunch. But would I like that? Feck NO.

Here’s the thing. Why should I give businesses to restaurants that couldn’t care less for those on wheelchairs? By not providing a more user-friendly environment, like the basic accessible ramps leading to their premises, they are implying that no wheelchair-user would ever patronize their place. In other words, they don’t see the need to fork out a few hundred extra bucks just to provide a lousy ramp that will be rarely used once built. Typical mentality of the Malaysian kind.

Hey, suits you guys then. I take it that these people wants me to take the business some place else, and that’s exactly what they’ll get. Talking about caring Malaysians. Eat my shit, you.

Anyway, I’m not blaming the restaurants solely. I seriously think those JJCM fellas deserve some ticking off themselves. Chair-bound person enjoys eating out too, incase they didn’t know as yet. So it would be of great help if the show could at least include information of that certain place on whether they are accessible for wheelchairs. Personally, I’m not asking for much. All the show host needs to do is to inform the viewers if that particular restaurant is wheelchair-friendly. Otherwise, they can always spare the script from mentioning anything about the premise’s inaccessibility. Simple as that.

I had the chance to tell this right in Tunku Maria’s face last week, but she was all too nice and adorable and cute shit that she was spared from being told off.

Ok not really…here’s an actual account on what transpired that afternoon…

…she was with her sturdy-looking hubby that my balls shrunk and went up inside.

JJCM and Pinky...