Datuk Z

Innalillah Wainna Ilaihi Roji'un.

So there I was, having a puff while taking my morning dump when an sms came in. It was from DocTA, and the content of the message was a shocker. Datuk Zakaria Md Deros the former Klang assemblyman has passed away. To make doubly sure I decided to reply and get a confirmation as there was no internet access in the bathroom to look up in any online news.

And so it was confirmed. He died after suffering a heart attack early this morning.

Ok admittedly, I have been very hard on this man lately, particularly after the just-concluded GE which saw his Daughter-in-Law, who replaced him, lost.

I can feel the guilt sinks in, in my blood and vein. I feel bad. Really bad. In fact, I had some bullets left up the sleeve to take another shot or two but my conscience is clear enough to tell me to completely halt the operation. By pulling another trigger will only make me an animal.

My sincerest, deepest condolences goes out to his family and loved ones. May Allah bless his soul in the hereafter. Amin.

As a mark of respect, I did a correction on his name that I have intentionally made fun of in my past entry. My sincerest apology.

Al-Fatihah.

Feeling Groovy

My vote actually went to her. Lama dahhh…

Unlike the previous state government, this lady is one caring candidate. And again, unlike the previous government, she’s irreplaceable.

Having said that, its her birthday today (10th of March) and this blog owner wouldn’t want to miss having a shout on this very wonderful occasion.

Actually I had wished her last night, 12am, right on the dot but I feel its appropriate to add a few more flavours to all the sweetness currently lingering in the air.

Here’s to you, luv.

Don't you know that it's going okay,

I want everyone to see that,

Everything's coming up roses,

Whenever you're hanging with me,

When we're goofing off, laughing at nothing at all,

And hoping the day lasts a week,

Nothing else matters, no nothing else matters to me,

My hearts pounding so fast but what can I do,

These days it's got a reason to beat,

I'm not walking down life's lonely highways no more,

I've finally got something that's sweet...

Always looking for someone to kiss me goodnight,

Always hoping for someone like you,

That would always shine bright like the stars up above,

As we fell in love...

I don't need a princess with you in my life,

I don't need a million bucks,

I'm something to someone,

I'm into life now, I'm just a punk rocker in love.

(I Always Knew- The Queers)

Happy Birthday, and many happy returns of the day, sweet honeycomb darling...!

Dinner tonight?

I Had Roti Canai for Breakfast

Right. its Sunday, and being a post-election day, a lazy Sunday sure it is not. I guess the rakyat has really spoken and voted with their heart and guts and some shits in between.

Being a Selangorian, I have never lived under any other government but BN. As we all know, the previous BN state government falls flat like a turd being run over by a wheelchair.

Lead by Md Khir, the defeat was a real slap on the face for all BN leaders be it in the state, and at federal level, of course. Whether it will for a better change, I’m game to see how the new breed of Government to perform for the next 4 years or so.

I am no political analyst but since I can barely close my eyes after all the surprising results through out the nation, I did some post-mortem of my own on how the hell the BN could have been floored real good.

I think the main factor was the Datuk Zakaria Md Deros controversy. Even though he was not contested but he had badly tainted his party image with all the controversial palace-like mansions he built for himself after only being a YB for a short term. And the Selangorians, being a clever bunch we are, showed them the exit door simply because the boss should be us, and not some YBs.

And this YB acronym business thing should be changed to Yang Berkhidmat instead. I mean, seriously la geng, why should the people menghormat the YBs when we are the one who put them in the office in the first place?

Listen here, to all Yang Berhormats. You people are voted in to serve us…as in us, the people and NOT for your own personal interest. Nor it gives you the license to be a big-headed Yang Berhormat. Berhormat my butt.

So really, blame your own party member for the downfall. You guys may not have seen it coming but in a way you guys were really asking for it.

Being a Selangorian and a lalang and all the shits, I end this entry by singing a different tune;

Fuck the state opposition. Pade doh!

Kahkah…

Ejaculation!

It’s the same old shit. Promises have been pledged, numerous police reports made, flag wars between all parties without a clear winner. All in the name of General Election.

The 2-week campaign period is finally reaching its climax and come Saturday all registered voters, some dead ones, will go to every polling stations casting their votes.

I came across a million ringgit question on what would I want the government to do if they are voted in to manage the country. This was a general question and nothing to do with our country’s on-going GE fever.

But nevertheless, I’ve got many answers up the sleeve but the real question is, will there ever be a government that could provide with some positive answer to that question posed in the first place?

How about this; a public transportation for people with disability, and I mean in every towns and villages nation-wide? Ok maybe that would be a wishful thinking, but how about providing such transport services in every major towns in every states across the country?

Now can the next bunch of government people come up with a solution for this age-old woes the PWDs been facing since the day they became cacat?

I certainly doubt it. Whoever takes the office after the election will as usual come up with all kinds of excuses and will typically blame on the shortages of fund that prohibits from seeing this through.

If they,-the same bunch of people made up of the previous government, are indeed a people’s government then the idea could have been sorted out and implemented a long long time ago. The lack of fund cannot be used as an excuse because if they can come out with millions of bucks to organize a useless Monsoon drain cup, they should be able to serve us the disabled citizens of Malaysia too. Unless we are treated as a lower class Malaysians, they’ve got their priority totally wide of the mark.

That’s basically my wish from whoever will be in-charge of this beloved nation after the pru12. Its never about personal gain but the PWD masses, close to 200 000 of us.

It should start somewhere. With good transport services, it will encourage more PWDs to re-join the society and perhaps of course, vote in whichever party that serves us, and not the other way round.

On a personal note, I just cant wait for all these GE freak show to end and get the new YB, who will inevitably be from the BN coalition, to look into some matters.

I have been very critical of them BN but so what? If my wish is still too much for an asking, then I may have to continue doing so against the next G, which is likely going to be basically the same old shit-faces from the previous management.

Call me ungrateful for all I care, and I’ll call you a bastard for all I care.

So anyway, happy voting, losers.

GE Stupidity IV

Undi anda adalah rahsia. This phrase must go.

There we have the PM in Kepala Batas or some shit casting his vote and people will be wondering which party he voted for…I wonder.

Or when a party supporter who only the night before polling had his party cap and badges on proudly, chanting away his beloved party slogan madly, and come polling day his undi suddenly becomes a top secret shit.

I might have missed out somewhere but tell me, what’s so fucking secret about it?

GE Stupidity III

Making a big fuss when some party flags/posters went missing.

This whole poster/flag war is getting sillier and sillier. Putting them up had caused fist-fighting amongst party supporters. How childish can that be? You don’t win a seat based on whose posters being pasted more on walls, nor which party with most flags along the street can win a voter’s heart. Heck no, my friends.

TV3, especially those asslickers behind the station should take notice of this. By showing footages of all things BN, it wont even move, let alone change a people's mindset of which party to vote for. Get real, bitch. Your biasness is simply too ridiculous to chew on.

Sex On Everyone's Mind

It was a lazy Sunday I had, a well-deserved break after a hectic week leading up to the main event on Saturday. Plus, with some other shits I did just to bring in that little extra income, an uneventful week ahead would be a welcome. Oh, hold on…hell yea, I’m gonna have just that. Hooray.

The Saturday’s symposium went extremely well without a single glitch and some of the organizing committee members felt like a huge burden has finally taken off of our shoulders. I had a relatively easier job compared to other fellow Machais but the relief was still like the best thing in the world, as if I had just ejaculated. Ok that was an exaggeration but still glad the monkey’s off of my back for till at least our next event.

Entitled Sexuality & Fertility, the symposium by the way, was quite an eye-opener to a number of able-bodied participants whom mostly came as NGO observers. Hats off to all the speakers for telling it as the experts they are. If one hadn’t anticipated the topic of this event, one would have thought it was a symposium coming right of a short erotic literature taken off from a porno mag or something.

All the wheelchair lads however knew what was coming and had expected the speakers to take the mic and bring the house down, all in the name of knowledge. It was very explicit yet un-taboo. Penises, vaginas, clitorises were the words of the day without one needs to wash their mouth off later nor anyone cringe hearing it. These are after all a politically correct term of the words used. No rooster nor cats, so nothing to get excited and horny about.

It’s not really a great deal of a secret that erectile dysfunction is a common problem guys with spinal cord injury suffers. It takes a man to admit that but honestly, a quadriplegic (me!) finds it easier to get a boner than a paraplegic could.

Equally for the lasses, dryness apparently seems to be their common sexual predicament. I swear that was new to me.

But what’s somewhat shocking was, quite high percentage of able-bodied men shares the same sexual problem, amid their macho-ness. And this was revealed by a medical expert from hospital kuala Lumpur, no less. So the next time you encounter a guy who loves bragging about on how colossal his pecker is, chances are his shooting boots are more of the Fung Keong-type rather than a Nike’s Total 90.

That’s the ugly truth, guys. Face it. Impotency does not favor anyone. Better to screw up than to look all so manly but screwed when the cat comes a calling.

So anyway, the topic was successfully addressed and stayed on course for the benefits of those in need of such useful information. Couples who attended were at the receiving end of all the jokes thrown but the real joke was actually on the jokers themselves. They get to work on what they’ve learned earlier in the day while the rest gigit jari, yours truly included.

For an inaugural symposium, Perwira K9 did a tremendous job. The response we get from non-member participants were greatly beyond our expectations. It was so overwhelming if we were to form a political party, we’d sure to beat the hay out of anyone in GEs.

And I’ll be the health minister.