What would you do when you’ve ran out of pornographic materials to drool on especially during the wee hours of the morning? As I found out, no better ways to fill your lonely hours than to look the word tenesmus up the wikipedia.
As everyone may have figured the meaning by now, I think when a dude suffers from one, he couldn’t be claiming that he was raped in the ass, could he?
This is nothing political but purely based on logic. My take is, when someone’s anus is screwed, say, by an obvious object, that will naturally opens up the anal canal wider for his turd to ease through. So if he was indeed being fucked in the butthole, he should be able to crap effortlessly. And he might be able to do it even by standing on his feet.
Whatever man. I think its better to leave this matter to the expert because I’m not a doctor, let alone an ass doctor.
Hey, but I think the word Tenesmus sounds pretty rockin’. Cool name for a rock band.
Or a boy band. Something like the Rasmus, only that Rasmus is a crappy rock band.
I think The Tenesmus will thrive better in the pop scene. Just need to gather a bunch of guys with a pretty-boy look, preferably with a six-pack torso, a singing ability as melodious as the Spice Girls and voila, they’ve got themselves a contract.
To make their first million bucks all they need is to corrupt an oldie number and they are well on track to be part of world’s wonders- the one-hit wonder.
So anyway, my current state of mind is totally untenesmus. I have been writing since Monday and all that ever comes out are pure crap...just like our nation's current political situation.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
I Love Mondays
Oh man, its only 1220am and I can barely open my eyes. The weariness is still very much felt, clouding my whole body system even after hours of afternoon siesta. Not gonna blame on the age factor, because I am still young and gorgeous but I believe its more like a wake-up call that I should go slow on my weekend’s routine-breaking shindigs.
Suffice to say my past weekends have not been short of activities. Invitations kept pouring in- dinners, reunions, lesbian orgies, bloggers get-togayther- and this round of weekend was no exception.
Time flies by when you’re having a good time but when you had a blast, you wish you could party on as if there’s no tomorrow.
Now that we’re well into the dreading start of the week, all the fun comes to a halt.
Its back to a dull, routine motion. Pressure starts mounting to get your job done and Friday seems like a century away.
Then we begin to moan, grumble and whinge on about everything that deems suck to one’s preference- Just because it’s a bloody Monday.
There in the ward meanwhile, we have someone dearly battling a dreadful Monday that will inevitably harm her body in some ways or another and here we moan for the workload which will in due course produces an income.
I mean, doesn’t sound right, does it?
It was only a couple of years ago when I gave a pal -with a respectable career, a salary comparable to a corrupted minister- some good piece of mind. He can go ahead and lust for all the good shit the world can offer but not swapping places with a quad like me so he could sleep through out the day and night.
No man, you wouldn't want that. A single ‘Amin’ to that and God could very well grant his wish and crippled his limbs at one stroke. And trust me, its not a pretty thing to be yearning for.
Now however, I’m guilty of that and a good reminder should snap me off from ultimately swallowing on my own words. Actually I’m culpable of everything under the sun, so its not a real surprise that I’m guilty of bitching mad at poor old Mondays.
Ungrateful bastards most of us are.
Suffice to say my past weekends have not been short of activities. Invitations kept pouring in- dinners, reunions, lesbian orgies, bloggers get-togayther- and this round of weekend was no exception.
Time flies by when you’re having a good time but when you had a blast, you wish you could party on as if there’s no tomorrow.
Now that we’re well into the dreading start of the week, all the fun comes to a halt.
Its back to a dull, routine motion. Pressure starts mounting to get your job done and Friday seems like a century away.
Then we begin to moan, grumble and whinge on about everything that deems suck to one’s preference- Just because it’s a bloody Monday.
There in the ward meanwhile, we have someone dearly battling a dreadful Monday that will inevitably harm her body in some ways or another and here we moan for the workload which will in due course produces an income.
I mean, doesn’t sound right, does it?
It was only a couple of years ago when I gave a pal -with a respectable career, a salary comparable to a corrupted minister- some good piece of mind. He can go ahead and lust for all the good shit the world can offer but not swapping places with a quad like me so he could sleep through out the day and night.
No man, you wouldn't want that. A single ‘Amin’ to that and God could very well grant his wish and crippled his limbs at one stroke. And trust me, its not a pretty thing to be yearning for.
Now however, I’m guilty of that and a good reminder should snap me off from ultimately swallowing on my own words. Actually I’m culpable of everything under the sun, so its not a real surprise that I’m guilty of bitching mad at poor old Mondays.
Ungrateful bastards most of us are.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Flip-Flop
Hey, I’ve got my notebook back. Nothing to shout about really as it’s still the same crappy old laptop, only minus the Trojans and shits like that, which of course is a good thing.
I shouldn’t be complaining, you know. I take some consolation that comes out of this whole virus-attack episode- that it was just an old laptop and not a Proton Perdana, or I may have to break my bank account (as well as few dozen others) just to get it repaired.
RM50k to fix a damn car. And we dumb fools are expected to buy this trumped-up story. Come on la datok, its your life-long dream to drive a benzo. Stop faking it and come out clean with your story. You’re nothing but a faker, man. A mother faker.
Ok, back to my virus-free laptop.
I seriously think its about time I change to a new one. But the timing couldn’t be as ghastly as now. Just when the cost of living is soaring high, this fucking thing just had to turn its back against me.
I’ve got some wonderful people reading my blog who came out with suggestions on how I could go about in replacing this old junk for a new one. I truly appreciate their ideas. They offered something substantial, and the fact that we’re mere blog acquaintance really speaks volume of their thoughtfulness.
But, I’ve already got a plan up my sleeveless Pagoda.
The lady-luck may not be smiling at me now but I truly believe there’s always a light at the end of every tunnel. For striking the right chord I managed to get a slot for a meeting with a certain VVIP.
No, its not Kery Jamaluddin. Whoever, Its very much on the card and I have yet to utilize it.
The best part is, the ball is in my court to name her (yes, it’s a she!) the date and time for the meeting- at my convenience! That’s the flip side to it.
Now for the flop side to this whole good shit –
I don’t have the guts to bloody do it. The thought of calling her up simply freaks me like hell my balls shrink up without a trace left in the scrotal bag.
But I know I’m gonna have to do it eventually. I wanted this so much and will make the most of this little precious time she has for me.
What I need is to put on a thick face, be done with all the protocols and get down straight to the point and forward my request for a state-of-the-art notebook.
In the mean time, I’m just hoping the testicles will return to its place and gather my guts in full-force soon before I pick up that damn phone and start dialing.
I shouldn’t be complaining, you know. I take some consolation that comes out of this whole virus-attack episode- that it was just an old laptop and not a Proton Perdana, or I may have to break my bank account (as well as few dozen others) just to get it repaired.
RM50k to fix a damn car. And we dumb fools are expected to buy this trumped-up story. Come on la datok, its your life-long dream to drive a benzo. Stop faking it and come out clean with your story. You’re nothing but a faker, man. A mother faker.
Ok, back to my virus-free laptop.
I seriously think its about time I change to a new one. But the timing couldn’t be as ghastly as now. Just when the cost of living is soaring high, this fucking thing just had to turn its back against me.
I’ve got some wonderful people reading my blog who came out with suggestions on how I could go about in replacing this old junk for a new one. I truly appreciate their ideas. They offered something substantial, and the fact that we’re mere blog acquaintance really speaks volume of their thoughtfulness.
But, I’ve already got a plan up my sleeveless Pagoda.
The lady-luck may not be smiling at me now but I truly believe there’s always a light at the end of every tunnel. For striking the right chord I managed to get a slot for a meeting with a certain VVIP.
No, its not Kery Jamaluddin. Whoever, Its very much on the card and I have yet to utilize it.
The best part is, the ball is in my court to name her (yes, it’s a she!) the date and time for the meeting- at my convenience! That’s the flip side to it.
Now for the flop side to this whole good shit –
I don’t have the guts to bloody do it. The thought of calling her up simply freaks me like hell my balls shrink up without a trace left in the scrotal bag.
But I know I’m gonna have to do it eventually. I wanted this so much and will make the most of this little precious time she has for me.
What I need is to put on a thick face, be done with all the protocols and get down straight to the point and forward my request for a state-of-the-art notebook.
In the mean time, I’m just hoping the testicles will return to its place and gather my guts in full-force soon before I pick up that damn phone and start dialing.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Raden Galoh
It was her birthday on Monday and when she was supposed to be out dining with her colleagues, letting her hair down celebrating this meaningful occasion, instead she was greeted with an upsetting news- a cancer relapse that has now spread on a few more areas of her body.
Monday couldn’t get more suck than to receive such devastating news as this, especially the victim being dearly to us. In this case, me.
Raden Galoh, or fondly Kak D to yours truly, has been an inspiration to most of us who are either direct or indirectly linked to her blog, as well as her faithful readers.
Right from the beginning when she was first diagnosed back in 2004, she endured the battle heroically. Survived the first ordeal but unfortunately another one awaits.
I know I shouldn’t be fretting. Kak D’s a fighter, and an admirable Srikandi at that. With the immense inner spiritual strength she possesses, I know she’ll pull through.
We are all with you Kak D. our prayers will be with you always!
Monday couldn’t get more suck than to receive such devastating news as this, especially the victim being dearly to us. In this case, me.
Raden Galoh, or fondly Kak D to yours truly, has been an inspiration to most of us who are either direct or indirectly linked to her blog, as well as her faithful readers.
Right from the beginning when she was first diagnosed back in 2004, she endured the battle heroically. Survived the first ordeal but unfortunately another one awaits.
I know I shouldn’t be fretting. Kak D’s a fighter, and an admirable Srikandi at that. With the immense inner spiritual strength she possesses, I know she’ll pull through.
We are all with you Kak D. our prayers will be with you always!
Monday, July 21, 2008
Change your lifestyle: Dump Proton for Merc
Hello.
I know I’m on borrowed computer (still) but the temptation of forwarding some piece of my mind regarding the Mercedes fiasco in the east-coast state was just simply overwhelming.
First read it at Kata Tak Nak and Rocky and I thought its gotta be another hearsay until this morning when the MB came out with the statement naturally to defend the state government’s move.
Apparently the move was made after they’ve studied every angle and the most frugal way to pamper the state’s exco and senior official members is to, GET THIS, buy them an E200 Kompressor each, which totalled up to RM3.43m for 14 units.
Riiiiiight.
How in the world will this ‘clever’ idea save any cost?
Oh well, it does make sense, doesn’t it…to the MB at least.
After all you can’t expect the excos to turn down on such move now that they’ve got a Mercedes Kompressor each to show off. Besides, its good enough keep their mouth shut.
The MB cited an example where one fella had to fork out RM50000 just for repair during his 3 years driving a Perdana, and hence the need to switch to Merc.
Shit man, did this guy actually use the Perdana to drive or what?
Here I have family member and a few friends driving a Perdana V6 and trust me, all of them have been using the same vehicle for more than 6 years now and apart from minor repairs the cars are very much in top-notch condition.
Get real mr MB. If Perdana- or any cars for that matter- are well maintained and taken care of, the car can last a life-time.
If the MB thinks local cars are crap, I think the excuses given are even crappier.
I know I’m on borrowed computer (still) but the temptation of forwarding some piece of my mind regarding the Mercedes fiasco in the east-coast state was just simply overwhelming.
First read it at Kata Tak Nak and Rocky and I thought its gotta be another hearsay until this morning when the MB came out with the statement naturally to defend the state government’s move.
Apparently the move was made after they’ve studied every angle and the most frugal way to pamper the state’s exco and senior official members is to, GET THIS, buy them an E200 Kompressor each, which totalled up to RM3.43m for 14 units.
Riiiiiight.
How in the world will this ‘clever’ idea save any cost?
Oh well, it does make sense, doesn’t it…to the MB at least.
After all you can’t expect the excos to turn down on such move now that they’ve got a Mercedes Kompressor each to show off. Besides, its good enough keep their mouth shut.
The MB cited an example where one fella had to fork out RM50000 just for repair during his 3 years driving a Perdana, and hence the need to switch to Merc.
Shit man, did this guy actually use the Perdana to drive or what?
Here I have family member and a few friends driving a Perdana V6 and trust me, all of them have been using the same vehicle for more than 6 years now and apart from minor repairs the cars are very much in top-notch condition.
Get real mr MB. If Perdana- or any cars for that matter- are well maintained and taken care of, the car can last a life-time.
If the MB thinks local cars are crap, I think the excuses given are even crappier.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Rumour Mongering
Is it true, that Ameno and Past has finally kissed, fondled and ultimately merged?
I received this piece of news from the most reliable source that anyone could ever get their hands on – circulated email
According to the sender - a very respectable and influential man whom I cant quite recall his name - he emphasised that the much talk-about meeting between the two parties had in fact taken place in Thailand and even provided what he claimed as hard-proof.
I am totally buying this story, man. I mean, why not. It looks so genuine and convincing. You judge for yourself and tell me if I’m wrong.
Kihkihh…
Ok I should just shut the hell up and quit writing for a while.
The latest political development has in a way put me in the spot I feel a little confused of what to make out of all these. Maybe I should just stay away from politics all together and start focussing on my future plans, like getting a federal datukship for example. I’ve got it all planned on print and stored it up in my c-drive.
But first, I need my laptop back.
I received this piece of news from the most reliable source that anyone could ever get their hands on – circulated email
According to the sender - a very respectable and influential man whom I cant quite recall his name - he emphasised that the much talk-about meeting between the two parties had in fact taken place in Thailand and even provided what he claimed as hard-proof.
I am totally buying this story, man. I mean, why not. It looks so genuine and convincing. You judge for yourself and tell me if I’m wrong.
Kihkihh…
Ok I should just shut the hell up and quit writing for a while.
The latest political development has in a way put me in the spot I feel a little confused of what to make out of all these. Maybe I should just stay away from politics all together and start focussing on my future plans, like getting a federal datukship for example. I’ve got it all planned on print and stored it up in my c-drive.
But first, I need my laptop back.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Dragging week ahead: The bad shit
Ok here’s another shit, alas a bad shit. I am now back on my sister-in-law’s machine. No prize in guessing what happened to that crappy old laptop of mine.
What’s bothering my state of mind the most currently is how the hell am I to earn a living now that the bloody laptop has gone totally round the bend. As I stressed prior to this, the fucking thing has been my rice cooker for quite sometime now. Unfortunately it has gone mad and now my bread & butter is pretty much at stake.
I’ve got tons of shit to do and the fucking virus just had to play its game at the worst time possible.
Unlike many, I’ve been very dependant as far computer repairing goes. Now that it wont be around for quite a while, I may have to seek my in-law’s kindness to at least let me keep this till I finish off with my weekly article. Not that she minds but I believe she has her own shitty work to get them done too.
I’ve gone through deeper shit, this couldn’t be so bad, right? I wish.
This has always been the story of my life so far. Just when I thought everything seems to fall into places, faeces and vomit sure to be thrown in together into the mixing bowl just to wreck and mess the party up.
If there’s any consolation, well, I am still breathing.
Here’s to another crappy crap crap week ahead. Hooray to life!
* Any rich blogger/reader out there care to donate? I'll sell my dignity and dance to the tune of Las Ketchup for your sole enjoyment. Anything man...anything for a laptop!
What’s bothering my state of mind the most currently is how the hell am I to earn a living now that the bloody laptop has gone totally round the bend. As I stressed prior to this, the fucking thing has been my rice cooker for quite sometime now. Unfortunately it has gone mad and now my bread & butter is pretty much at stake.
I’ve got tons of shit to do and the fucking virus just had to play its game at the worst time possible.
Unlike many, I’ve been very dependant as far computer repairing goes. Now that it wont be around for quite a while, I may have to seek my in-law’s kindness to at least let me keep this till I finish off with my weekly article. Not that she minds but I believe she has her own shitty work to get them done too.
I’ve gone through deeper shit, this couldn’t be so bad, right? I wish.
This has always been the story of my life so far. Just when I thought everything seems to fall into places, faeces and vomit sure to be thrown in together into the mixing bowl just to wreck and mess the party up.
If there’s any consolation, well, I am still breathing.
Here’s to another crappy crap crap week ahead. Hooray to life!
* Any rich blogger/reader out there care to donate? I'll sell my dignity and dance to the tune of Las Ketchup for your sole enjoyment. Anything man...anything for a laptop!
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