Cherry of a New Beginning

I’m wrapping up...for the year that is.

Hope to be back very soon with more concrete ideas that I can chip in towards the disabled community, an issue like it or not, remains top of my whimpering list.

But first things first, as I need to get my own life sorted out.

Some 10 years ago, when I resigned to the fact that only through a set of wheelchair can determine the black and white of whatever’s left of my remaining life, never really imagined it’d prolong colourfully that now I don’t wish to give up the ghost anytime soon, not at least for another 5-6 decades more.

Before anyone starts having idea this is one of those crappy motivational pieces, it is not because normally my advice to those who always moan how his life sucks to go ahead and snuff it out in the most dramatic way possible.

Personally however, I’ve got so much to live for thanks largely to the decade that’s about to see its curtain fall before us in a few hours time.

It couldn’t have kicked off on the righter foot, when I finally realised it was about time to get off the bed and start learning the trades of getting around on wheelchair. By no means a walk in the park but as I found the groove it didn’t take long before it hits on me there’s actually life ahead that waits.

And so the journey through the decade began, constantly a learning process throughout. Getting back into the society was the toughest hurdle but looking back, it’s not much them but my own weaknesses, the emotional department being the biggest culprit.

That’s all behind me now.

Fast forward to 2009, the final year has at long last provided the elusive break that, to be honest, I’ve been craving for since as far back the day when I first stepped into the wonders of the adolescent years.

Anyway, just as it started, I’m pleased to end the decade on a high.

Similarly, if everything goes to plan (insyaAllah) the new beginning will see the continuation from where it left off, and the New Year will kick off the new dawn on a more positive note.

Only this time with a bang...

By...ehem...

...screwing up.

Young Tigers to the fore

Watching a football game – this time much closer to home- last nihgt, finally in many many years that I felt our (under 23) national team has the right attitude to land us the elusive SEA Games gold medal that’s been missing from the FAM’s cabinet exactly over two decades ago.

Laos 1 Malaysia 3.

It may be a false hope yet but being a closet fan of the national team’s for a while now, the joy’s too overwhelming to keep my emotions from bursting out.

The fans have waited way too long for somethign encouraging to be produced by the national side.

I remember the last time the gold medal went to us was in 1989, soundly beating our tiny neighbours down south 3 goals to 1. Some of the country’s great players, Lim Tiong Kim, Dollah Salleh, K Rajagopal and to a lesser extent a certain Shebby Singh, they were all part of the team.

Heck even the legendary Zainal Abidin Hassan, with his trademark afro hairdo – that easily beats Marouane Fellaini’s any day – played a crucial role in that year’s SEA games fruitful campaign.

The win was such a great deal to all Malaysians that public holiday was even announced the next day.

Of course I don’t expect another holiday beckons – purely a reason I’m no longer schooling- but with expectations running high, our players must by all means, perform to their utmost best for a better chance of not letting this golden opportunity from slipping away.

So bring on Vietnam.

Our Young Tigers should be up to the challenge, as long they keep their gentel skill to a minimal.

1Malaysia for a much-needed change

The International Day of Disabled Persons - the same annual day for people with disability which if I remember it correctly went by a different other name last year - is making its round again today. But by any which name the United Nation fancies it, the aim of the Day has been consistent throughout since its inauguration back in the early 90s, that is mainly to promote better understanding on disability issues, rights of the disabled persons and all that same old same old.

In our country the National level do will be held on the 5th, with the Malaysia Association of the Blind getting the honour to host the event this time around, and again my bet is that its gonna be yet another same old same old.

Everything’s foreseeable.

Speeches by the big shots will be filled with long and scripted sweet promises regardless of whether they had the audience all glued. Then everybody applauds and once the shindig’s over its back to square one.

You can’t blame me for sounding bitter but since the celebration last year (and the previous years) even some simple wishes have yet to be fulfilled.

To elaborate will make this piece sound like a broken record. After all Its the usual issues, you know; Transportation, accessibility, job opportunity and all the disparity in seeking the elusive break that is long overdue.

Maybe there’s some improvement in some sense or another, and I am not going to deny it and give people the impression I’m one ungrateful OKU but when progress is at a snail’s pace, and after decades of waiting at that, the older OKU generation may not live to witness the progress they had fought for over the years.

A significant change has to start now. Not December 3 2010 but now.

I don’t know how the ground-breaking work is gonna be like but the much talked-about concept of 1malaysia may just provide the tool to pull us out of the mud.

Our Prime Minister, the man behind the idea has to personally ensure his brand of governance benefits everyone, that even if a single Malaysian soul being left out will the campaign be considered a dud.

Maybe a little too much for an asking but roping in the disabled community in future development blue-prints IS what the concept partly about.

It is after all about acceptance and does not centre on national unity and ethnic tolerance alone, right?

All we’re asking is to be accepted, to feel the sense of belonging and be part of Malaysia’s development, the same development the country has taken our able-bodied counterparts to at a fairly decent pace.

The last time checked the OKU citizens are Malaysians too, hence our entitlement to some piece of the action, and ultimately sharing the cake.

Failing which, the International Day for the Disabled or whatever it is called nowadays will have a similar story year in year out and It’s gonna be like totally un-1Malaysia if that continues.

Dogs: licence to bitch

Based on all the reports I read the next day, the first ever dog forum organised by MBPJ being held recently was a great success. Even though I didn’t stay until the end, the morning session was enough to convince me to make it a point to attend in future forums.

The highlight of the day was when it was announced by YB Ronnie Liu, the state exco member that the Selangor government will waive the licence fee for the disabled and elderly who wishes to own a dog.

Free dog licence will definitely encourage more people from this group to keep dogs as pet as it is well known they make good companionship.

Being a non-dog owner/lover, the move wouldn’t make any difference but I’m all for anything that’s beneficial to those who are in need.

But apparently not everyone took the announcement well. I was told an officer from the local council feels it’s not necessary to waive the licence charge as the existing fee is relatively cheap, affordable even to the unfortunate groups.

So in other words what this bitch said is to pay the exact amount for the licence like everyone else does if the disabled and elderly want to be treated equally.

To the officer, this is how she cynically defines equal rights, the campaign synonymously advocated by the disabled group.

OH FINALLY. At long last we get to hear someone in the authority council barks around upholding the rights.

The question is why only now? For a mere dog issue finally the definition breaks through their thick skull when equality of rights should be extended to numerous other issues since ages ago.

When the disabled group demanded accessibility to shop houses, unscrupulous developers still get the green light to operate the building by the same bunch of authority.

When we asked for wheelchair-friendly curbs on roadsides, it took them ages to approve only a stretch.

When we constantly brought forward our decades-old transport woe, only one van is provided to cater to thousands disabled PJ residents.

And our endless woe keeps piling up...

Yet when it comes to dog licence suddenly their version of equal rights takes into effect.

For a few hundred bucks she’s denying a little privilege the not-so-fortunate group hopes to be able to enjoy.

If there’s any left, her rationality to oppose such a good cause is that her employer will go bust for giving free dog licence.

Imagine that. MAJLIS PERBANDARAN TEMPATAN MUFLIS GARA-GARA LESEN ANJING, and PJ will be left without any local council to man the district.

But come to think of it, not that it makes much difference anyway.

Dogs & Bitches: Pets or Pests?

During my childhood days, walking past a particular neighbour’s house had always been a dread as more often than not I’ll end up running for dear life with the irresponsible owner’s pet dogs hot my trail.

Ok they may be a pair of Shih Tzus, but the thought of being eaten alive by these midget mutts was enough reason for me to take a longer route home from school daily.

Back then it was quite common for kids my age, especially the Muslim kids, to fear them. Some would run a million miles by a mere sight of the animal...even from a million miles away.

In our tiny mind if we are bitten, the thought that we are ritually unclean will haunt us for the rest of the day.

Naturally I loathed them, and felt those neighbourhood canines ought to be captured and sold to the mobile satay vendor who plies his trade from house door to door.

But decades have passed. And my perception towards the animal have since changed.

To a certain extent, I have yet to conquer the fear, and it still pretty much dogs me. However, long gone the days when I thought they’re nothing but a racist animal with appetite only for flesh of a Muslim boy.

Throughout the years, I learned that apart from it being an intelligent animal, dogs make great companionship. And due to their helpful nature, certain breeds are considered god sent to the disabled community. They are known to fetch items that are beyond reach especially for those with physical limitations and serves as an eye for the visually-impaired.

No, I don’t intend to own one for obvious reason but I make no bones about people keeping dogs as pets, as long they do it responsibly.

But do they all?

So in commemorating with the World Animal Day, a first ever dog forum organised by MBPJ will be held this Sunday to discuss on this very topic.

Besides lending my support to a dear buddy, I’ll be there yet for another attempt at overcoming one of my childhood’s worst nightmares, which now I’m beginning to believe to be a bit unfounded.

An evening with Dato'

So there was a powerful earthquake taken place yesterday. It was felt by many especially those who either live in high-rise condos or working/surfing porn in their office cubicles on top of the sky scrapers scattered around town.

I belong in the first category. But I didn’t realise there was actually an earthquake until all the residents were told to evacuate our respective units.

And I was like, hey what’s going on, before went in again to fetch my Ramones’ Box-set CDs. I mean, if the buildings were to come crushing down, at least I can still claim to be a proud owner of a rare music album.

This evacuation exercise thing was a new experience to me. With all the residents taking their own sweet time evacuating clad in home attire (boxers, kaftans, sarongs), I thought the scene was like there was a huge orgy party going on.

But of course, a party is not complete without a clown.

Appeared out of the crowd was this bloke in his chequered pyjamas, cracking recycled joke that the earthquake should happen more often as so the residents can mingle around regularly and stuff.

And I went like, sure Mr Krusty.

The thing is, I don’t mind the used joke as his ice-breaker but what’s pathetic was he actually introduced himself as Dato, and his (young) wife, datin.

Firstly, what’s with the bright orange-coloured pyjamas la Dato? Secondly, stop being so formal because thirdly, we ARE living in a close-knit community – as apparently this fella was not aware of - naturally we address each other by our names.

If there’s someone who needs to socialise regularly it is our resident dato. Instead of cooped up with his (young) missus all the time, make an effort to read the condo’s notice board and join one or two of the residents’ many activities.

That way if there’s another earthquake occurrence (Nauzubillah), we can keep it completely informal. After all, its just an evacuation exercise, not a real orgy.

Aidilfitri

Here’s wishing you dudes/dudettes Salam Aidilfitri, ampun maaf dipinta ikhlas dari saya.

Zero-zero, folks!

one for the guys

I accepted a job which I thought was lemon squeezy but after a glimpse of it I thought shiiiiiiiit...instantly I know a mountain of a task awaits me ahead.

So instead of getting straight down to it I procrastinated, and went wandering around the net and You-tubing for hours.

While at it I came across this video below which I find its groovy rhythm rather, how shall i put it...'interesting'?.

First time listening yet the sound was so familiar.

The intro especially should immediately hit the chord amongst the guys (and some women).

Kih kih...

Ok, gotta get back to work. But not before another round of Back and Forth...need to learn getting into the rhythm real quick...muahahahaha...

I am a Malaysian

Its simply not coming. All I have in mind right now is taking a swipe at my own race, and it has been playing in my head since a few days before our beloved nation celebrated her 52nd Merdeka anniversary.

But of course I wont be putting my thoughts into print. All I can tell you is that my take on the recent cow-head circus is downright insensitive and controversial.

To a certain quarters my thoughts can be misconstrued. They’ll think I’m worse than Sol Campbell (Judas!) or something along that line, or even risk getting charged with sedition.

Everyone knows I’m not really in celebratory mood lately, but no way me is spending my Syawal in Perak.

Ok maybe not everyone but someone actually noticed and texted to ask why I didn’t do any Merdeka post like it has traditionally been in previous years.

I gave this year’s a miss only for one reason; intolerance.

An act of bigotry is the worst thing that could ever happen in a multi-racial country. Such appalling gesture is not reflective of what our Malaysia is supposed to be. After long achieving independence are we truly what we’ve always claimed to be, as asserted proudly on travel brochure and Merdeka-themed ads particularly?

Every August for the past decades now we’ve been fed with commercials promoting racial harmony. In fact many of us look forward to re-run ads by a certain dead genius. Regrettably many of us too did not get the message these ad geniuses tried to get it across.

It means shit to them. In the name of politics they’d stoop the lowest possible just to score points and shoot down their political rival in the process.

Sure, once a racist you’re forever a pig but partly I’m blaming politics for all the major fracas that’s been in the limelight in recent months.

If there’s one thing that is capable of ruining our beloved Malaysia, its politics.

Or the worst kind, race politics. As proud I am of my roots, me having none of it when racism kicks in. I love my country dearly it hurts to see it being ridiculed by these dirty people. The dirty game must stop or Malaysia will come crushing down sooner than we may think.

I pray to God if that ever to happen, let it not be during my lifetime at least. But once I’ve kicked the bucket then ok, they can go crazy, as I’d rather be dead than to be part of a disgraceful kind with absolute power tightening their grips over a wrecked nation.

But the damage is fixable. The tools are in their hand and time is pretty much on their side to rectify it.

I mean, its not too late, right?

Game plan

I’m at a crossroads.

I’ve been invited to try out Boccia (pronounced BOCH-a) - a lawn bowl version for athletes with disability- by the game’s top official, and insisted I give it a shot because she wanted me to be in the team so much.

But after witnessing a few times how the game is played, I find it a little too unexciting for my liking.

I can always say no but here’s the tricky part; if I made the team, its not for Rumah Hijau or some shit but the National’s, no less. Its my only chance ever to represent the country, even if its just Boccia.

And the most tempting factor is the competitions the team will be involved in, beginning with Asia Paragames next year, which will be held in Tokyo.

Yes, this is Japan we’re talking about man, J-E-P-U-N, Japan!

Japan has always been my dream destination. Its not just about the upskirt but its rich tradition and culture that attracts me the most.

So if I can get over the game’s dullness, I might stand a chance of getting a free ride all the way up there, courtesy of MSN and you folks (Taxpayers), and enjoy the trip.

I think I’m going ahead with it. For Japan’s sake, I believe I can handle all the monotonous training routine, the second step towards seeing my dream of setting my wheels on the sun rising land materialised.

The first step is of course to take up the offer and learn all about the game’s trade as soon as possible.

But then again...maybe after Raya.

Salam Ramadhan

Ramadhan is back.

Here’s wishing all Muslims Selamat berpuasa. May Allah give us the strength to go through each day, for the next one month with ease. And to all my non-muslim friends, well, happy loading.

Time to have my first sahur of the month. No, wait. Make that supper as I’ve got roti canai still to stuff in later in the morning...I mean, before Imsak breaks, of course...Muahahahaha...

Sharing the common voice

On Wheel Power recently, by Anthony Thanasayan.

'I RECEIVED an interesting e-mail from a new friend I made recently. Daniel Ahmad Sharani who lives in Petaling Jaya, writes: “People often ask me if I was born a quadriplegic. The answer to that question is no,” says Daniel, and went on to explain a little bit about his background.

For full article, go HERE.

Someone sent me an email in response to the article. She felt both Anthony and I would make an explosive combo and ought to work closely together at ironing out disability issues. Of course from my part, I find the suggestion rather flattering.

In truth both of us have in fact, discussed on the possibility of merging our ideas and work out on things that can be beneficial to the community.

I think that’s mainly the reason why we hit it off very well when we first met. Since the first time I bumped into his column a decade ago, can’t remember if I had ever opposed to any of his views.

Its about looking at the bigger picture. If a certain issue benefits the unfortunate in general, then you can count on me for the support. I totally dig anyone who promotes positive changes. From our living environment, to creating awareness amongst the public, we know darn well Wheel Power is all about that.

So basically both of us shares a common goal.

Now, before anyone starts having silly idea I’m curry favouring Anthony (now that he’s somebody in MBPJ) with hopes of getting something in return, I admit you are not too far off. Apart from both of us sharing the common wish of living in a barrier-free environment, he is in the position to make that change, beginning with my area part of the town.

So I thought maybe...just maybe, a little back-rub might do the trick!

Whatever it is, I don’t get paid for having full praise of him. For all the effort he’s put into for over 2 decades, he rightly deserves it.

They are not any better

Here’s a scene I managed to catch on one of the foodie shows produced by our little neighbour down south;

Three ladies -one's pregnant- just had scrumptious desserts and was on their way out when the pregnant lady reminded her friends to NOT assist her descending some flight of steps because get this, in her own words, “I’m not a handicapped, mind you!”

I always hear good things about Singapore. From OKUs perspective in particular, the country’s disabled community are well taken care of and a subject of envy to most of their counterparts in the region.

But that statement above proves no matter how advanced the disabled have progressed, general perception still stigmatises people with physical shortcoming. Its simply like, you’re a cripple on wheelchair, so even if you’re as healthy as an ox from the public eye you’re sick and in constant need of a help.

That’s a familiar story happening in our own backyard by the way.

Its not always we get to take a swipe at our southern neighbours because admittedly, they are superior to us in many ways.

But while I’m at it, let’s kick on the gash and further damage their dented ego.

Their national football team sucks!

Hell YES. Sucks as in, appalling. If there’s any other accurate term to describe it, its MACC.

The 5-0 drubbing by an English club side some weeks back suggested the national team are in dire need of a total revamp. Sure they can argue it was the mighty (under-strength) Liverpool they were up against but if it is news to them, our young Tigers did fairly well against a full-strength English champs!

Yes, it feels good to have a go at them, especially to be backed with facts and not just emotion alone.

Finally after a long while it reinforces my belief they are not any better than us in some ways.

Now I wonder what will happen if the two national sides take it to the field. I definitely have some good feelings about it.

A local council for all

Excerpts taken from Anthony Thanasayan’s Wheel Power today;

“He was surprised that some able-bodied people had objected to the disabled-friendly project by MBPJ.”

“The blind were rather tickled by the objection of some sighted people who thought that the project should have been done at another place where a popular eye hospital is.”

Check out the complete article Here. Mr Thanasayan was kind enough to even mention my name there.

So anyway, naturally after getting my parents to read the article, we discussed on the issue at length. And we came to conclusions that those who criticised the project are either downright selfish or that none of their family members are disabled, hence, their lack of sense of empathy.

As we have stressed on it for the zillionth times, this said project –a stretch of pavement- is universally designed, which means it can be used by EVERYONE.

Let me spell it out in case these people still didn’t get it. E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E. And that includes you able-bodied morons who thinks the pavement reconstruction is a waste of money.

Or the taxpayer’s money to be more precise.

Well, fuck that. All of us pay our taxes too. Our dads, our brothers, sisters, wives, mistresses...they’re all taxpayers.

If this selfish-bunch thinks they have their say, then please keep in mind that WE too, in the disabled community have our rights to uphold.

And like it or not here’s something to add up to your misery; we are here to stay because the good people at MBPJ have a few more disabled-friendly projects on the pipeline!

So be afraid...wooooo...

Ok seriously, If it is too hard for you to be with us, than be prepared to come up with better reasons to back up your rationale behind such hostility.

But don’t be too naive to think the disabled will throw in our towels and wheel home crying to our moms (and mistresses).

We’ve waited for such goodies to come our way for ages that we must be out of our mind to back off now. I mean, finally at least one PBT is doing it right.

As Anthony aptly puts it, the disabled community is glad that MBPJ is going on a right direction with its forward-thinking plans for all its residents.

And when he said ALL, you better believe it because for one, a politician he is not.

So long, Good Ol' Captain!

Capt Yusof Ahmad (1947-2009)

I woke up this afternoon only to be greeted by shocking news.

‘Capt Yusof Ahmad, aka The Ancient Mariner, died in his sleep last nite’, as the message went. Immediately I thought it could be a mistake, as only a week ago the good ol’ Capt and his family had lost his beloved mom.

Then another message came in to confirm the sad news.

When I first started I remember ANCIENT MARINER being one of very few blogs highly recommended by everyone. They were spot-on. His blog has been in Let’s Go Land’s link list ever since.

We met regularly later on through events and even bumped into each other a few times around the neighbourhood. He was approachable and had parted a good advice during one of our meetings that I will forever remember it for the rest of my life.

His demise will be a great loss to all of us in the blogging fraternity. The Good Ol' Captain will sorely be missed.

Bon voyage, sir.

Al-Fatihah.

Pondering over pathway

Here’s a quickie.

Earlier today I was somewhere in PJ, wheeling alongside the who’s who in the disabled community to protest against, get this, a group of able-bodied residents who had conveniently objected the local council’s decision to create a more disabled-friendly environment around the township.

For the record, the PBT had reconstructed a stretch of pavement and made it functional for everyone, and that includes not just the disabled but as well the able-bodied themselves.

Tell me if I’m missing out something here but when this project works in every single resident’s favour, I fail to see why the need for some quarters to bark about unnecessarily.

Like it or not, this is what equal rights is all about. When all this while most pavements shut wheelchair-users from accessing on it, the new universally-designed footpath caters to both sets of users.

So what’s the fuss really about? They get to still set their foot on the pavement and equally so are our wheels.

Not that the pavement was designed to make life a living mayhem for the jaywalkers, no.

So until that actually happen I sincerely suggest these people to quit being a selfish bastard and shut their pie-hole for once.

And with that said, I’ll be off again.

Salam mesra.

Shoot and win

I’m sure we’ve all seen one of those warning signboard that says ‘Trespassers Will Be Shot’ noticeably hung on fences of a private property somewhere. Now I wish similar punishment could also be applied to those inconsiderate car owners who have no qualms at abusing disabled parking spots.

The problem has always been to catch these bastards red-handed.

Its never easy I tell you that, and it doesn’t help when you have kayu security guards sleeping on their job.

Last week however my break came and it was one those rare occasions I get to exercise my rights, telling the driver straight in the face.

Here’s the thing. The wheelchair-designated parking spots in this one hypermarket we usually frequent were never vacant. But regardless of whether the driver’s a cripple does not matter because I can’t simply be jumping the gun and started shitting on his car hood.

But as luck would have it that day, one of the parking spots was available only to be beaten to it by a car in front of us. And sure enough, not 1 but 3 able-bodied African dudes coolly alighted the car and walks away as if their Tok Wan owns the supermarket.

Then bang! it happened. I shot ‘em 3 goons with my trusted Tommy gun, hitting them right on the forehead and rejoiced the moment all 3 hit the ground...

...Ok seriously, here's what actually happened.

I got down and yelled out at the driver to remove his junk somewhere.

Oh oh...but get this- he had the cheek to believe he was innocent and had not violated any law even with a huge OKU signboard clearly erected in front of his vehicle.

I mean, duuuuude...if you really are visually impaired then by all means man, the fucking space is all yours.

But no, some people just had to argue even when they realise they don’t stand a chance. Hard as they try, the not-so-good will always triumph over evil.

The driver especially, stood there with two minds after I made it clear he can either go on shopping and risk getting his car clamped or does the right thing by vacating the parking space.

Maybe the thought of the yellow clamping thing made him do the right thing and spared any damages from being done.

Except for bruised ego. I mean, cool homeys don’t get no rap from no crip on wheels, know what I’m sayin’?

Hey, I was merely exercising my rights. What’s equally important is this episode should at least instil some sense of awareness to those involved and witnessed it.

Its about time society jacks their level of awareness a notch up.

And a harsher punishment similar to the trespassing law should effectively do the trick.

Impractical term

KEMAMAN, June 13 — People with a disability should not be referred to as “disabled” but rather “People with Special Ability” as that would best fit their description said Youth and Sports Minister Datuk Ahmad Shabery Cheek.

Thoughtful indeed, but I can help to think it’s purely sugar coating. If he was trying to score points with the disabled community, the minister is definitely shooting blanks.

What’s in a name you tell me. Unless a disabled person on wheelchair possesses a super special ability to overcome insurmountable environmental barriers or get to ride on a wheelchair-unfriendly public bus, a shit by any other name would smell as bad.

That’s the stinking reality. The struggle we have to put up with in order to lead a normal and meaningful life like our able-bodied counterparts IS the reality, and this is the area where the powers-that-be should put some extra effort into.

Everybody’s capable of coining with phrases. And in this case to come up with the most politically correct term usable will not provide us an inch of progress. If there’s a need to change, the word special should be replaced with beneficial instead.

Personally I don’t mind the rudest expression one could think of as long practical changes are made.

So until the government comes up with something beneficial, I’m sticking with the commonly-used term, the disabled person.

Or crips, or cacat...whatever.

Back and banging

Hey I’m back, back with a BANG.

It could have been sooner but when I was supposed to scout around for a new laptop, I splashed a chunk of the allocated budget on a gun instead.

Yes, a pistol, a Beretta 92 to be precise.

It was unnecessary and all the blabla, I know. Got that a lot and the flaks haven’t ceased since the day the gun was purchased.

But I’m going ahead and keep it. Its meant for protection after all. Just like a condom y’know, only safer.

I mean, you just never know. A cold-blooded murderer might just strike while you’re bumping uglies with your spouse.

So protect yourself and your loved one. The best form of safe sex is always...to carry a weapon.

Anyways, after two sans internet weeks, I thought I had loads to catch up on. So I scoured through all the news available online and read as much as I could.

Then I caught this one piece and then again I thought hey, I didn’t miss much after all. Apparently some things never change.

For being a menace to the Malaysian society, the Mat Rempits continue to enjoy special treatment from the authority. This time around a whopping RM4 mil will be spent to cater to this group’s need for speed by building a circuit, courtesy of public fund, via the clever Terengganu state government of course.

And those who excel get this; will get a sponsorship to race in the International circuit. So instead of getting the law to go down hard on them, they get to travel abroad and see the world.

It just doesn’t sound right at all. I mean, while we still hear cases where the OKUs are being oppressed and punished for enjoying little things we have in life, the Mat Rempits on the other hand gets to travel to places that most Malaysian could only dream of setting their foot in.

It makes one wonder why bother wasting their precious second passing the amended, stricter law in the first place if they’re not going to apply it.

Now, if only these road fiends were the reptilian kind, I’d take the law into my own hands and go on a shooting spree.

Gone begging

Komputer rosak. And it is beyond redemption.

After years of faithfully providing good service to its max, my 7 year old laptop has decided to call it quits. And the timing couldn’t get any worse possible. I’m broke, which of course is not a surprise but just as I thought of saving up (ehem, ehem...), this latest series of misfortune most likely means I have to break the bank instead.

Hopefully it wont be too long till I get a new replacement. A day without internet can be a real dread.

life’s been ugly enough since I lost my favourite brown Irish hat. And I wouldn’t want to pile up the misery by becoming a public outcast without an internet access for too long.

In the mean time I’ll be gone temporarily. For those with a big heart who wishes to chip in a coupla thousand bucks (Amal Jariah), you can reach me on my cell phone or landline; both numbers can be retrieved from most owners of the blogs listed on the sidebar. Thank you.

Till whenever dudes/dudettes, chai chien!

Flushing down a flattering myth

Heyy, finally I’m on Facebook. Add me or I’ll C4 you into pieces and eat your children.

Last night I received two emails. It was such a great deal to me because for a change, none of the two were the usual emails with work/porn materials attached to it.

The first one particularly was interesting. An old chum took the trouble to drop in a few lines to ask how I’ve been keeping up. That was a rarity as far as I’m concerned because I can’t even remember the last time someone emailed just to find out about my well-being. What's even more amazing is how the email was constructed- very formal, almost traditional letter-like that the email actually kicked off with the classic Ke hadapan saudaraku Ahmad blabla…

This chap’s a real dying breed I’m telling you.

The sender of the second one was more concerned on the lack of new postings in here. And get this- he went on to say that I should be able to update regularly now that I’ve become a "full-fledged journalist".

Somehow that didn’t come as a surprise. This was like the thousandth times I heard of such claim.

Maybe it was due to my stint as a columnist (and a terrible one at that) that suggested I was a journalist by profession.

So let’s debunk this myth once and for all.

First and foremost, a columnist may not necessarily go into journalism, and vice versa.

Secondly, mixing around with the press people does not make one a journalist. Just like if you fancied the 'Barcodes' to pull through doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a sad Geordie, right?

Right?

Ok that didn't really make sense so let's move on swiftly to the third point.

Most of them journalists -regardless from which angle one looks at it- are capable of writing good piece day in day out, and I don’t even come close to sharing the same league.

Of course I’m fully aware of that. I know where I ‘stand’ exactly and I don’t need a second reminder.

So please keep in mind- I'm a small-time blogger and definitely not a fucking journo-blogger.

As much I’d love to land a job with any one of the rags (reason solely being financial), I just don’t have what it takes to be one. Its never easy because for one thing, a good academic background is required. And all I have is shit. Tertiary education is alien to me.

Besides, an OKU needs to keep up to his billing as an unfortunate and stupid kind in order to live off YOUR money, via one of the government’s schemes.

Regular updates will only make me look intelligent and risk losing the privileges provided.

In the mean time, I’ll post as and when I feel like it. So it’d do me a huge favour to quit acting like a monkey and get your protruding hindquarters off my back.

Thank you.

Crazy over Power

1. The power tussle looks set to prolong.

2. Even if Mr Mahatma Mandela & Co. manages to recapture the legislative power through vote of no confidence, and the other side accepts the decision lying down, the former still have the Rakyat to face and convince.

3. The power grab already did enough damage to the power grabbing coalition that even if it was done within the constitution, it is generally perceived that whatever took place some three months back was done through undemocratic process.

4. Its going to be quite a task for Mahatma & Co. to convince the masses their party still believe in People’s Power, especially by the manner they took office back in February.

5. Unless fresh election is in the offing, the rakyat will have to live under weak government with thin majority until the next General Election.

6. Economic power is what the people are yearning for. Only a powerful government can provide and feed our cravings for a greater economic growth and productivity.

7. In a democratic country, the power should always belong to the people, and must not be in any power-crazy politician’s hand.

8. I am not a politician, but as part of the people, I consider myself as Power-crazy.

9. For the past months, I’ve been feeding my craze for Power on Fridays, every single week without miss.

10. Since today is Friday, its time for the weekly ritual. It has been a week since I last recharged my power that the feelings of weakness and hunger have kicked in.

11. Must…have…my…weekly…(two) plate(s)…of…

BAWAL POWER!!!

Set nasik, ulaman & sambal belacan bersama Ikan Bawal, Ikan Keli atau Ayam digoreng panas-panas…

Bawal Power is located at
Selera Central, Central Park, Sunway Damansara, Kota Damansara, Petaling Jaya.

12. That’s right, gormandisers! If you're hungry for Power, drive down to Kota Damansara for the real deal succulent Bawal. Memang Power!

Its over, no point living

My heart’s wrecked. I was too distraught this morning that I skipped my brunch.

Don’t tell me its not the end of the world and all that crazy bullshit, because according to my world, it is.

I think that’s where I’ll be for now; my own world. Nothing beats the comfort and warmth of your own room when you need to be all to yourself (like wanking for example), totally shut from the outside world.

Its crazy out there, I’m telling you. In this current state of mind, I feel as though everyone out there is insane. Its like they’re eager to get me, throwing jabs to where it hurts most and continue pounding till the old wound starts to bleed again.

So its best to just throw myself into an incarceration and treat this wounded heart with some Ubat Kuning.

Until its fully healed, I’ll be blowing bubbles in the land of make believe (e.g Hefner’s Mansion West)- my room.

For any urgent matter, you know where to reach me.

To those rich politician bastards who wish to do some charity and donate a huge chunk of their ill-gotten loose change, I can be reached via email. You can find it somewhere in the profile section.

Till whenever, happy whatever, guys/gals. Or whoever.

Shape up or get lost

To be quite frank, I’m getting a bit tired of highlighting issues concerning the disabled community. It seems that nobody actually gives a shit.

Forget about the ministry, even those who proclaimed to be championing the OKU rights are guilty of not putting their words preached to where it matters.

But its ok, save yourself the trouble to come up with any excuses, the message is crystal clear- disability issue lacks sensationalism.

Ask people in the broadsheet business what’s boringly repetitive more than any opening speech in a government function. Even they will struggle to come up with an affirmative answer because they too, couldn’t give two hoots about it.

So you cant really blame the society. Issues brought up are basically the same old predicament that can be traced as far back as one thousand decades ago. To put it simply, nobody listens to broken record.

Then we have the really clever officers at JKM, the department that supposedly takes care of our well being since the beginning of human existence.

They are competent, alright. Time and energy are well spent hunting down disabled people subscribing to a freaking Astro.

For goodness sake, fine, we’ll skip the monetary aid. By all means the ministry can use all the money allocated from the country’s recent mini budget as long it is used to completely revamp the entire JKM body. The whole institution stinks and in dire need of a total facelift. Getting rid of the deadwoods would be a good start and down right necessary.

However I don’t expect the minister responsible, DS Sharizat Jalil to clean up the whole mess overnight. But I do hope she’ll make it right this time around, and all ears.

This second stint at the helm should cut the workload tasked on her into halve. Cliché as it may sound but she’s really got to shape things up.

I mean, second time failure can always put serious dent on one’s reputation, right?

Sorry DS Sharizat, never meant to scare you but now that the big boss has laid his wishes down, time is very much against you.

Performance has to be now.

Proud to be a G

So I had a miserable weekend. And as anticipated, the moment the final whistle blows, unwelcome text messages poured in from rival fans. Their intention was of course, to pile in more misery and nothing more.

This season alone I’ve lost count of the heartache I had to endure. If witnessing your team came out second best isn’t excruciating enough, you have asshole friends who are more than happy to stab a few more daggers up your already wounded heart.

Still, I’m proud to be a G.

But unlike always when I took every defeat in stride like real man usually does, this time I decided to try the method that chics normally go for when sorrow comes a knocking- shopping.

That’s right, Gs.

When you can’t think straight, you go have a ball and do something as therapeutic as shopping for clothes. After all Gunther, ehem…closets are meant for just that, clothes!

Kahkahhh…

Get it? Get it?

God I am so proud to be a G.

The G by the way, stands for Guy- forget about designer labels and Hawaiian shirt, I splashed a good hundred on a very manly (ehem ehem) imported black T with a Rancid-Let’s Go design proudly emblazoned across it.

And of course, G also stands for the Gunners.

I’m a Gooner through and through, and I am so Goddamn proud of that!
.

Back to resuscitate?

She’s back.

The new cabinet line-up named earlier today saw Datuk Sharizat Jalil, the newly elected Wanita Chief back in ministerial business, taking over the Women, Family and Development portfolio, in which she’s not unfamiliar with.

It will be interesting to see how Sharizat perform this time around after being given another shot at proving her worth.

During her predecessor’s (and successor) time, Datuk Ng Yen Yen’s contribution towards the disabled community wasn’t something she can be proud of. Her decision to upgrade the JKM from the RM200 million allocated especially was a bad call. It should by right, channelled directly to the community as in these trying times every crips in the country could do very much with extra cash in hand.

Sharizat’s (re)appointment has renewed some hopes (at least to me). Najib’s agenda of ‘People First, Performance Now’ should be heeded by the new Madame minister if she wishes to kick it off with a good report card to gloat about.

For a start, she can look into the community’s age-old woe concerning the Disabled Working Allowance (EPC) and consider a 100% increment because apart from the economic slump, jacking it up is long overdue.

Re-branding the JKM is not urgently necessary. The exercise can always wait.

Stormy weekend

From a Tifosi’s point of view, the Sepang race was another letdown because the team have yet to chalk a single point after two races into this season’s F1 calendar.

But screw the unfavourable result; the experience of sitting literally next to the track tops the whole shebang.

While on our back, escorted by ehem ehem all the way to the city I told Mr MuteAudio, my driver of the day, that bragging about it was compulsory.

But I think I’ll spare you losers the details of the VIP treatment we received throughout. Suffice to say the organisers did an extremely good job.

And my initial worry of inaccessibility was unfounded. SIC, being the venue for international events is indeed, wheelchair-friendly.

Thanks to Celcom to have made it happen. I’d love to get one of those superb Storm BlackBerrys, but that may require me to break the bank, and end up living on a tight budget for the next, err… two years.

Pic stolen from Tony

Revving up

The F1 circus is in town yet again!

It will be interesting to see how Ferrari and McLaren, the two big guns fair this time around after a disastrous outing last week, that surprisingly saw the new team, Brawn GP conquering the top 2 podiums.

Also, it’d be equally interesting to see if the venue is wheelchair-accessible, and how the organisers will handle a fussy fellow on wheelchair tomorrow because yours truly will be there and all revved up to witness his first ever F1 race right before his eyes.

That’s right man, thanks to Celcom, I am so gonna be there.

So Grid Girls here I…

I mean, Kimi and Felipe here I come!

Gardening pt III

Sooooooooo…they've made it official.

Malaysians are now officially living in the new era, with a new chief captaining the ship.

We have just witnessed the swearing-in of our country’s sixth Prime Minister, Dato Seri Najib Tun Razak this morning.

Not by any measure however, will the new Perdana Menteri get to smell the fresh flowers surrounding Sri Perdana as he’s got one hell of a colossal task ahead of him. So be very afraid DS. Wooooo...

Well anyway, all the best to you, man.

Meanwhile, his predecessor can now continue his siesta, this time in peace.

Melayu lagi...dan Lain2

So the political slugfest is pretty much in the thick of action. Knowing our country, not that it has ever taken any break anyway. But the bouts have become official now after the nomination day last week, more the reason for both rivals to kick it up a notch.

Then broken record starts spinning and the usual shit commences.

Well…

Errm…

Err…

Stupid goons, give us something fresh la guys!

I read somewhere the battle for 2 of the seats up for grab will be determined by whoever’s better at enticing the hearts of Malay voters.

But what if they’ve made up their mind? Then too bad la, they’ve got only themselves to kick because politicians should look into people’s plight all the time, and not just during campaigning period.

But all is not quite lost. Since there’s every possibility another by-election will take place before the current term ends, they can start now by tackling the Malay mind not just in one or two constituencies but the whole country.

Buy a slot in between Akademi Fantasia concert because get this; that’s where the mind of the Malays is glued to on Saturday nights. You don’t trust me, take a drive around the Malay-populated area during primetime Saturday night, and it will be as empty as election promises itself.

Of course votes from other races play a vital role too.

Unfortunately the same approach is impractical to the Chinese community. They’re virtually everywhere. If you’re stuck in traffic congestion for instance, try kissing the bumper in front and chances are you just hit a certain Mr Wong’s car.

Get what I mean?

But don’t worry about the Indians. It’s the easiest of task, just head over to Bangsar.

Melayu Global

Almost everyone I met or spoke over the phone late last night said they were in front of the tv earlier on, sitting right through the assembly till the results were announced.

Hey…good for them.

I on the other hand, was pretty much in my own world, with the tele completely turned off. It was like, I was rehearsing for the Earth Hour thing.

Ok maybe not exactly that as I had my laptop on.

So I completely stayed away from the amno assembly. But not in any ways that made me less of a malay, mind you. In fact, I did something that justifies my Malay-ness, even more Malay than many of those present at PWTC - by drooling over a newly discovered porn site.

Talking about the Earth Hour, which the whole world will observe this Saturday, I didn’t really give a shit about the whole fuss until recently. I think it’s a great idea because I feel most of us are guilty of not conserving the earth energy as much we could, or should

But lately I’ve been more sensitive towards our mother nature, by keeping the damage at bay. Like for instance the Go Green Campaign some time back, I actually did my part and went green myself- by going organic.

So come Saturday, March 28 at 830 pm, I’m playing my bit yet again, by turning all the switches off for 1 hour. Its not really a difficult thing to participate in this rare world event y'know, and ultimately chip in to a good cause because errm…well…

There’s no footie match worth watching!

Ministry to the rescue...NOT!

From what I gathered, the Second Stimulus Package tabled recently was due partly to ease off some weight off of the people’s shoulder during the economic slump. Although many I came across were rather sceptical about getting some piece of the cake, I as usual, remained positive that some of the good shit would be heading my way.

That is of course, until I found this report while googling for some morphine-related materials.


RM200 Million Will Be Used To Upgrade JKM - Ng Yen Yen

By: Ramjit

KUALA LUMPUR, March 12 (Bernama) -- The RM200 million the Women, Family and Community Development Ministry will get from the Second Economic Stimulus Package will be used to upgrade the Welfare Department (JKM) and hire more staff, said its minister Datuk Seri Dr Ng Yen Yen.She said JKM offices nationwide would be upgraded to be more people and disabled-friendly, which would involve a cost of RM45 million.

"The ministry will also give more attention to old folks homes, especially in Sabah and Sarawak," she told a press conference at the pre-launch of the Purple Ribbon Movement, which will officially launched at the Sunway Resort in Petaling Jaya on March 21.

Ng said RM10 million would be set aside to purchase four-wheel-drive vehicles to facilitate JKM's services for old folks in rural areas while another RM10 million would be spent for hiring new staff to beef up JKM's work force.
BERNAMA

At least a huge chunk of the 200million bucks allocated will be used to upgrade JKM offices across the country to make it more people and disabled friendly.

As always, real clever decision la coming from these people. Instead of channelling the money directly to those who are badly affected, they set their priority on matters that the community could do without particularly in these trying times. And the fact that this is the agency responsible minding the welfare of the disabled community amongst others, for decades they couldn’t even provide basic disabled-friendly facility at their premises. Malu la bro…

Whatever it is, the move by the ministry has certainly raised issues that demand quick clarifications.

Don’t get me wrong, I am all for better quality service especially when the cause benefits the less fortunate. But for now, pressing matters like imminent financial shortage hitting the community’s wallets should be on top of their list. Increments on existing allowances under their various schemes deserve utmost priority.

We are in financial crisis, any renovations can take the back seat.

Hepy bday

Its almost 5 in the morning and here I am, wide awake and the worse part is, I'm actually run out of things to get all silly about. I can barely close my eyes that even the Golf Channel over at Astro wasn't much of a help.

So I thought since the drugs I snorted earlier have yet to deceive my mind, I'd post something for today because after all, its March the 8th. Yea, that very day makes its round yet again. No prize in guessing the significant of this very day.

I mean, how on earth could we, the caring (Malaysian) citizens, ever forget?

It's Dato Seri Samy Vellu Sangalimuthu's 69th birthday.

Pirantha naal valthukkal, uncle!

Happy Birthday!

(Tamil phrase courtesy of Moz.)

Make me bad

As part of the OKU community, I thought I’d try this simple method of get-rich-quick scheme by seeking donation through sympathy. After all, we are always stereotypically being portrayed as just that -donation seekers- even though that’s not necessarily the truth.

Since none of the cheapskate devils are willing to part crazy amount of money for my untainted soul, I’m gonna do the right thing by cutting the price to a more affordable rate. Hopefully this time around someone out there will buy it out and send me a step closer to catch an evil band strutting their devil music right here, on Malaysian stage.

Willing to do a write up curry favouring your favourite political icon for a piece of ticket to catch...



ehem... in the flesh.



The deal couldn’t get any better. Its negotiable!

Any takers? Satan?

drop me an email.

Buy me!

So the other day, some of us wheelchair homeys got together over some drinks and drugs down at the spinal ward. The discussions as some may have guessed, lead to politics, and a certain Yb Hee-she in particular.

We collectively agreed that Hee, or rather, she, had to a certain extent, tarnished the good name of the disabled community in general.

We thought that her action had further strengthens the impression that wheelchair-users are in fact, a desperate lot who can be bought cheaply in return for material goods.

I mean, she had no qualm betraying the trust given by the public for a lousy Camry, right?

Come on man, you don’t sell your soul to Setan gondol for a stupid Cam…

Eh, wait. Hold on.

What, really?

Mega million bucks as part of the deal?

Ok that’s it man, screw the OKU community.

Get me, devils. I am soooo sold!

Look who's talking

Nude pics. Rarely I’d say this but really, what’s the fuss about it in the first place?

A politician sleeps in her nude, then unscrupulous individual rudely invaded her privacy and (somewhat unsurprisingly) her detractors jumped out at this lifetime opportunity to put her down politically

First and foremost, she’s a human being, like you and me. She has every right to lead a life like everyone else. Its just unfortunate that her personal activity was made known to public and being a politician made it even worse, no thanks to those only with political interest to tarnish their rival’s good name.

The worst part is, suddenly those who made the call acted as if they are a piece of untainted white cloth, free from sin with uncorrupted moral values.

Please don’t give us all the bullcrap about Malaysians not ready to accept leaders embroiled in scandals.

Dude, where the hell have you been man? Scandal-free leaders? We’ve had (and had to put up with) them for decades. Go check it out, its in your own backyard.

As a politician, she has done quite a wonderful job that demanding her to vacate her political post is uncalled for. She was after all, voted into office by the majority. The question of betrayal to the people must never arise because as a fellow human, I think she deserves sometime to her own. Whatever takes place behind closed door shouldn’t be any of our concern. Mind your own business, anyone?

Let’s put it clear and simple; if anyone feels the need to put her political career to the test, then by all means, go ahead but judge her as a politician.

Comprende, Mr Ex-mb?

Y’know what’s even funnier, el-tempe quoted as saying to let people decide if they still want her.

People to decide? Rrrrright. Since when?

Ready, steady, bless off

Readyyyyyyyy…

Steadyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy…

Aaanndddd……

Look ma, I can write again! Whoop-dee-doo.

Hey I’m back. Still in one piece, much alive but not quite kicking, if you get what I mean.

Initially I needed sometime off to clear some mess that have been acting like monkeys on my back. My personal life has been subjected to slander and lies by certain individual(s) with hopes, amongst others, to paint a bad picture on my charming persona. Typical case of jealousy la tu apa lagi.

Y’know, I wouldn’t give a crap but with clash of opinions from people that matters most to me, I thought it was best to just shut the hell up for a while.

But now I’m back, with a new look thanks to the brand new header of course…ehem…ehem…

Not that I’ve got that little setback taken care of, no. In fact, far from it. Its beyond my control. Knowing pricks that they are, they’ll still be lurking around and up to their dirty trick of twisting every word I put up in here.

But I’ve done my part (of seeking approval/blessing). The outcome didn't turn out as I had hoped for. Since I didn’t get any affirmative answer, I felt its best to just move on.

Got other shits to think of anyway, like catching a repeat of useless midweek international friendly.

Or get back to blogging.

Seriously, If I didn’t start today, there’s every possibility this place may end up without a single post throughout February.

Besides, couldn’t find a better occasion for a new entry than today because, its Thursday.

Musical Intermission; Don't Worry Baby

I’m on an assignment that could change my life for good. Either make or break, I think the time is here that I need to pull this one off, once and for all.

So to a certain extent, its a do-or-(spiritually)die mission.

Die, me tells ya…DIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…

Ok that was pretty dramatic but still...

DIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...!!!

Have some Mercy

At the last count, at least 220 children’s lives are lost and more than 3000 have been wounded in Gaza Strip, no thanks to the act of terrorism by the Israelis.

I’m taking the cue from Madame Elviza to spread the word around on Mercy Malaysia’s behalf. They are appealing for cash donation, which will be used to acquire emergency surgical kits, medicines and other hospital equipments to be supplied to the hospitals there in Gaza.

Here’s how you can help and with this small contribution I sincerely hope we could make one huge of a difference.

*Cheque is to be made payable to “MERCY MALAYSIA” and addressed to Mercy Malaysia, Level 2, Podium Block, City Point, Kompleks Dayabumi, Jalan Sultan Hishamuddin, 50050 Kuala Lumpur.

*Cash donations can be made via on-line transmission or deposit at CIMB Bank Account No: 1424-000-6561053.

*Donation form can be downloaded from here.

*Further enquiries are to be directed to +603-22733999 or info@mercy.org.my

Dude, where's your heart?

We are into the 6th day of the year and here I am, back to my dreadful routine, wide awake even at 6am.

When I made my yearly (same old) vow early last week, I could sense it was to remain a mere vow and all the pledges made are doomed to go right down the tube, like it has always been annually when we're only into our 1st gear on the new calendar.

The thing is, I’ve been chided and insulted for the current physical shape I’m in- to put it rather bluntly, super fat.

But who am I to disagree. Been helping myself on the food intake senselessly that the word diet sounds eerily frightful.

I mean, as much I feel the need to lead a healthier lifestyle, here I am sipping on sodas while puffing away my 3rd stick of the hour.

The least I could do now is to support the campaign against IJN’s privatisation from any money-minded corporate fuckers.

You just never know on this sort of things. Even those who are as fit as a fiddle are known to succumb to heart complications (read; Marc Vivien-Foe), what more to a person who has dinner in mind while digging on his lunch.

Nauzubillah, but it could happen to anyone, including yours truly. Painful enough that your heart goes bonkers, the last thing you need is to spend all your life savings to a heartless corporation, and eventually leaves a huge hole in your pocket.

*Now I feel the need to lepak with Mr Rajan more.

New year, same despair

Just to inform everyone that I’m very much alive still, although not quite kicking.

The reason(s) why this blog has been long abandoned is simple. The horrible connection is to blame, which had constantly driven me up the freaking wall lately. I had no choice but to be on borrowed laptop, stolen wireless connection and became a cheapskate yuppie for a few weeks in order to get some of the important work done.

Hope to get back real soon, with no interruption and all that shit.

A big thank you to all on the wonderful New Year’s greetings. Wishing everyone likewise.

Gotta wheel off again. I’m on borrowed machine. Can’t hold her back for too long.

Boinnngggggg…